Last Resort
by The Maudlin Muse
Summary: What happens when Severus Snape can simply take no more of the abuse? Please leave feed back Reviews are the sustinance that keeps us writers going, plus they are filling and non fattening!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them they aren't mind and I make no money from their usage in this story.

A/N: I changed part of this so I decided to repost, so please re-read!! Thanks.

OoOoOo

Last Resort

OoOoOo

Years of abuse still had not hardened him against it, no matter how much he wished to just be able to take what the world seemed the deem his due. Each and every time it hurt just as much as the last; so now, hanging upside down in mid air in front of the entire student body - by a curse he himself had created no less - his dingy gray, threadbare briefs on display, he could feel the tears of misery well in his eyes.

"Who wants to see me take Snivelly's pants off?" He heard Potter say and he had to bite his own tongue to keep a sob that so desperately wanted to make its way out at bay.

"NO!" He screamed from behind the thin layer of fabric that covered his face.

"Beg nicely Snivellus and I'll consider letting you down with a thread of your dignity intact." Was the caustic reply.

Severus would have loved to have been able to force the words he knew Potter wanted to hear out of his mouth, but the deeply ingrained Slytherin pride did not make it possible and he could feel the tug of magic against the waist band of his pants.

"Don't!! Bloody hell Potter let me down!!" he demanded.

"Oh surely Snivellus, that is not how you beg." It was Black this time, but the taunting tone was no less audible.

Severus struggled against the magic holding him in place. He wondered, not for the first time what he had done in his short life to deserve the abuse that was always so generously heaped on him.

It was almost as if he could see his life flash before his eyes because he was certain if James did what it felt like he was about to do he would die.

The movie of his life glossed over the years of beatings by his father as if in fast forward before slowing for his first day at Hogwarts. Heck, they weren't even at Hogwarts yet when he was approached by Black and Potter, who violently tossed him out of the cart he was in. He had only been reading a book. The boys had decided they wanted to be in the cart with Lily and he was simply in their way. He had tried to put up a fight but he was small and outnumbered. His fight only seemed to make the boys hate him.

He had arrived at Hogwarts with a broken nose and cracked ribs compliments of Potters fist to his face and Blacks foot to his body. Lily had tried to protect him but she was not any bigger then he though she was lucky; the jerks seemed to be gentlemanly enough not to hit a girl.

Madame Pomfrey had healed him right after the feast and the headmaster had been alerted as to what had happened.

The fact that the headmaster had done nothing about it had hurt the small boy on a completely different level.

Dumbledore had claimed that it was simply a small spat and since school had not begun yet when it had occurred there was little he could do.

That same excuse could not be used when Sirius had cornered him in the hallway and hexed him with boils a few weeks later.

He in turn had hit Sirius with a jelly leg jinx causing him to hit his head on the wall behind him, quite accidentally though.

They had both ended up in the hospital wing, only he had wound up with a week's detention while Sirius had gotten off scot free by making up a lie that Severus had thrown the first spell. Which, of course, James had backed up.

Dumbledore would not listen to the medi witch who had told the headmaster that it was not possible that Severus had started it as Sirius would not have been able to get a hex off AFTER being hit with the jelly jinx. Hitting his head had caused him to black out for a few moments, during which casting any spells would be quite impossible. So therefore the logical conclusion had to be that Sirius had started the hexing as Severus had proclaimed.

Many, many similar events had occurred over the following years, of course interrupted by time spent at home, where he would be beaten and belittled by his father for a change of pace.

Each time it was the marauders that had started it and each time Severus had been the one to get in trouble with the Marauders getting off with little or no punishment at all.

Severus was pulled back into the moment when he could feel the cool air wash over his bare arse and privates. He could hear the laughter of his classmates ring in his ears and he knew James had just divested him of his briefs as well as the last of his dignity and self worth.

"Let him down!!" Lily… it was Lily, she was standing up for him, oh Merlin a girl, Lily was fighting his battles and oh she was seeing him mostly naked, his Lily… He could feel something in him snap, snap so hard and painfully he didn't feel it when he was dropped, colliding hard with the ground.

He fixed his cloths quickly not that he had any dignity left and glared at everyone letting anger take over simply so that he would not start sobbing right then and there.

"I didn't need your help, mudblood!" The words were out before he had even processed them in his head and he wished immediately that he could grab them back.

Lily's eyes flashed with hurt and anger before she reared back and slapped Severus across the face. She then ran off towards the castle and Dumbledore's office.

She felt guilty for having slapped him. She knew she had quite the temper and like Severus she had lashed out before she could get a grip on her emotions.

She also knew that Severus was simply lashing out because he was hurt. She could understand that. She also knew Severus; her best friend had given up imploring the headmasters help. Dumbledore had made it abundantly clear to him that he didn't care and that Severus was not worth protecting, but Lily, Lily would not let those jerks get away with what they did to him.

Lily would go to Dumbledore, demand he do something and then she would find Severus and comfort him; despite that he had lashed out at her she loved him and hated to know he was hurting so badly.

OoOoOo

Severus stepped out of the potions classroom, the potion he had been working on needed to simmer and he needed to go to the bathroom. The halls were empty so he was more than shocked when a hand came out and grabbed him pulling him into an empty classroom.

"So you snitched on us to the headmaster huh Snivellus?" Sirius Black sneered.

"I… I didn't!" Severus protested. Potter came out from behind Sirius looking angry and Severus knew quite well then when someone looked at him like that the best option was to try and pacify them.

"You're a greasy no good nothing!" Sirius exclaimed pulling his fist back and punching him squarely in the jaw.

"I didn't!" Severus defended again, panting from the spot on the floor where he had fallen.

"Liar!" James accused kicking the boys head hard and Sirius then proceeded to kick and punch every part of the other boy's body.

Severus rolled into the fetal position trying to protect himself to no avail.

"Stop!! Please stop, I didn't…" he pleaded, his dignity so far gone it didn't matter anymore.

"We got a month's detention with Filch because of you!!" Sirius complained.

Through the pain Severus could feel a bit of satisfaction that Potter and his gang had finally been punished. Though he had not been the one to tattle on them.

The punishment was rather light considering what they had done to him but still he could not help but feeling a bit vindicated as he slipped into unconsciousness when a foot colliding with his head again - this time Blacks.

He woke up some time later to find to his horror that he had wet himself, though thankfully he was alone now. He wasn't sure he could move, but he had to get back to his potion; a potion he was just given even more reason to want to take, he hoped he had not left it to long. Though he was sure the consequences of leaving the potion simmer to long could not be worse than the potions intended purpose.

Forcing himself up despite the pain he made his way back to the potions room, glad to see his potion had not been disturbed. He retrieved the potions book from his backpack … A dark potions book he had managed to get from the restricted section. He opened it back to the page he needed.

He read the last bits of instructions for the potion called "Last resort". He didn't know why it was in a dark book because it wasn't a dark potion. Sure enough, it was a poison. However, it would only kill if it was willingly imbibed by a person who wished it to kill themselves. It was used by people who carried top secret info during war time in case of capture - especially those without an inclination towards Occlumency.

Sure he knew suicide was frowned upon but he didn't see why anyone would care if he wanted to die. It seemed to him like everyone wanted him to die, heck he was sure if he asked the headmaster would have brewed the potion for him. But he wasn't inclined to asked anyone for any favors, he was more than capable of taking care of this all on his own, just like he took care of everything else in his life all on his own.

He knew it was a desperate way out, and some would even call it cowardly. However, Severus WAS desperate, and considering he was giving the world what it wanted – to be rid of his presence – he did not think anyone had the right to call him a coward, even if he considered himself to be just that.

He added in the last ingredient, phoenix tears, which simply ensured the death was painless, and had to be added at least two hours after the basilisk poison so as not to bind with it and negate its effects.

He had stolen both rare and valuable ingredients from Slughorns personal store. He knew it was wrong and he would never had stolen such valuable ingredients normally but, well after this, after he took this potion, having stolen its ingredients would hardly matter.

He stirred the potion ten times clockwise and then five times counter clockwise before ladling some into the goblet he had next to his cauldron.

He stared into its depths. The potion was perfect obsidian black just like it was supposed to be, and as the pain of his recent beating coursed through his body the tears came to his eyes.

He had cried so many tears in his short life. All those nights he had sobbed himself to sleep - on the nights he could sleep at all - all the bitter tears of a boy denied the love of parents and of friends, the tears of a soul completely and totally alone…

A tear dripped into his goblet unnoticed by him as he thought of that fact that two months earlier when an owl had come to him from the ministry telling him that his parents had died in a car accident, he had felt more relief then grief. True, his mother had been forced to abuse him by his father, but he resented her for not standing up to the man, for not leaving him. For not trying to at least show him a bit of kindness in secret. Still he felt his father shared the lions share of the blame; if it had not been for him, he might have had a real mother to love him. He was immensely glad he would not have to face that man again.

Another unnoticed tear slipped into his goblet as he realized the only person her would be leaving behind was Lily, and after the way he treated her he was sure she wouldn't care. The Marauders would be thrilled….

He had once been stupid enough to ask them why they picked on him, abused him so, the answer had been 'because you exist'. Well if that was the case, he simply wouldn't exist anymore, it was the only way out. If it had been something else like, 'because you smell Severus' he could have fixed it, would have bathed ten times a day, if only to get them to leave him alone.

But no, it had not been anything he had done but the mere fact that he lived. That seemed to be enough reason for everyone in his life to punish him and so there was only one way to fix this...

So…Bruised, broken and soaked in his own urine he lifted the goblet to his lips and took in a breath, his last breath before downing the contents.

OoOoOo

Lily, who had finally finished talking to the headmaster and getting her own emotions under control as she didn't want to still be the least bit angry when talking to Severus, made her way down to the dungeons.

The Slytherin had not been at lunch, but that did not surprise Lily in the least. The boy didn't eat all that much and he had a habit of missing days of meals all together especially when Potter and his goons where at their worst. In fact something she had always noticed about her best friend was that he was never well fed.

She knew his parents didn't have much money and Severus confided in her that often times his parents would forgo feeding him for days at a time so that his father could eat. After all he was the one that needed the energy so he could work and bring in the little money they did manage to get.

What Severus didn't tell her but Lily knew anyway was that money that should have been going to feeding and taking care of Severus was instead spent on beer and whisky, thus feeding the boys feeling of worthlessness.

What child wouldn't feel that way when his father would rather be able to get drunk then take care of him, when the man literally took food out of his mouth.

Lily shook her head, she always felt so helpless when it came to Severus. She always wanted to be able to do more for him then, as a child, she could do.

She made her way to the potions lab, where she was certain Severus would be. The one thing she knew for sure was he often brewed when brooding.

Arriving at her destination, she pushed open the heavy potions classroom door.

"Severus." She called into the dark room as only a single candle towards the back of the room and the fire under a single cauldron lit the windowless dreary room.

She spotted the shadowed figure that she knew belonged to her favorite Slytherin just as it was lifting a goblet to its mouth, and she knew whatever he was about to swallow would not have a favorable outcome.

"Severus!! Don't!!" she cried as she ran over to the shrouded boy.

But Severus didn't even hesitate, he was too lost in his own mind to hear Lily He didn't even seem to realize she was there and so he downed the goblets contents in one fell gulp. It was warm and tasted of nothingness as it coated his mouth and throat. Making its way down to his stomach he could feel it warm him from the inside out before he ceased feeling anything at all and he collapsed to the ground in a heap of black robes and dingy gray underwear.

Lily let out a strangled cry and ran to her fallen friend's side. Kneeling beside him she put her ear to his heart and heard nothing, felt for the rise and fall of his chest any sign of life and again found nothing. Leaning back to stare at ashen cheeks she sobbed her tears falling and mingling with lingering tears on the boy's face.

She tried CPR but she knew it was useless for if Severus had brewed this poison as he brewed all his potions it would do exactly what it had been intended to do. Lily knew without a shadow of a doubt that Severus Snape was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply barrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Just so everyone knows this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!!

OoOoOo

Sobbing, Lily cradled Severus' limp body to her chest, rocking back and forth as she did. She did not know how much time had passed, but enough for what little warmth had existed in Severus's body to disappear.

She was so lost in her own grief she didn't realize anything was amiss until she could feel the temperature of Severus' body suddenly spike up.

Now Lily had never held a dead body before, nor had she spent much time with corpses - but she did know enough to know it was not normal for a dead body to become even hotter than it had been at the time of death. She also didn't think it normal that the body should start shrinking.

Pushing the body back a bit to look at it her eyes went wide, Severus was not only becoming warmer and smaller, but younger.

Lily watched with disbelieving eyes as the dead 15 year old became a very much alive baby of about two.

Severus looked about confused; he had been so sure he had made that potion right, but if that were the case then why was he alive? Things became fuzzy for him and his body erupted in even more pain as the world around him started to get larger and larger, his mind becoming cloudier and cloudier.

He started to sob as the shrinking caused his ribs, which were cracked from Black and Potter's beating, to fracture. Little baby hands went to hold his left side, his head ached and his little nose was very bruised if not broken. Though his body de-aged, it had not healed its injuries and so he did what seemed only natural to do, he started to sob.

Lily didn't know whether to be incredibly relieved or incredibly scared. In the end, she settled for grateful that Severus, though…smaller, was still alive.

Hearing him start to sob she lifted him, up making sure to pull him out of the urine soaked underpants and robes. Noticing the bruised rib cage she carefully held the naked baby to her rocking him in attempt to get him to calm down.

"It is ok little one, I'm Lily and I am going to take care of you." She assured the scared child.

Severus liked the red-headed lady and so he snuggled up into her, something about her very familiar and comforting, though he couldn't quite place it, he knew her and liked her.

When Severus calmed she sat him on the table for a moment and taking off her own robes she transfigured them into a warm knitted green blanket with a silver snake knitted into the center of it.

Knowing what precious few clothes Severus owned she would not even take the chance at transfiguring them, though she did scourgify them before folding them and putting them into Severus' school bag.

That was when she spotted the potions book opened to the page of the potion that Severus had at least attempted to make and she felt sadness wash over her. It was apparent that something had gone terribly wrong with the potion to change it to a de-aging one and for that she was grateful.

There had only been enough content in the cauldron for one dose. It seemed Severus had been very precise and careful to only make enough for him. All that was left to analyze the potion was the small amount that had been left at the bottom of the goblet, pooling at the narrowest part of the bottom of the silver cup. So, very carefully Lily bottled the remnants from the goblet into a small vial for analysis.

Putting the bottle into her own school bag after placing a charm on it to prevent it from braking, she attempted to wrap Severus in the blanket.

Severus panicked.

No! He wasn't allowed such nice things as the beautiful blanket which was his very favorite color and had a neat snake on it and everything. His daddy would be angry; he struggled as much as his broken ribs would allow sobbing loudly.

"Shhh, it's ok, we are going to go to Madame Pomfrey and she is going to fix you good as new, it's okay… oh what is wrong Severus?" She asked in exasperation as the baby refused to calm.

"Daddy say no, daddy say Sev no banky, Sev no zerv banky naughty Sev." He sobbed "Daddy hit!"

Severus' black eyes looked truly scared. His daddy never let him have anything, he was lucky if daddy allowed mummy to give him clean nappies and he often sported terrible diaper rash for it.

If he knew that Severus had taken such a nice thing from this lady, even if only to borrow it so he would not have to be cold and naked, he would be in a lot of trouble.

He whimpered remembering the one time not all that long ago he had allowed the Lady next door to share a biscuit with him. He had been so hungry and she had been sitting in her garden having tea, as he had been helping mummy with theirs. His tummy was so empty, he had not eaten or even had a bottle in over two days, so when the nice lady had walked over and handed him the biscuit he had only too gladly taken it.

That had been a very big mistake.

But he knew better now, he was a bad boy, a nasty freak and didn't deserve anything at all.

Daddy had yelled so loud at him and hit him very hard over and over again. He had not stopped until he was exhausted. Severus' sobbing and begging did nothing to deter him.

Severus would never ever take anything from anyone ever again, not never.

Lily frowned; of course, she had known Severus since they were just very little children. He had never had more than just the thread bare cloths on his back and always became very hostile whenever he was offered anything that could be construed as charity. She had never seen the boy own anything truly nice or even anything new. As far as she knew he never had any toys, not even a teddy bear. His clothing she knew for sure were bought second hand, as cheap and inexpensive as they could get. It didn't matter to his parents, apparently, if they were a few sizes too big or a few sizes too small as long, as they covered him. She could remember him swimming in clothing at times and at others wearing shirts or pants with sleeves or legs too tight and too short.

"Oh, Oh, no Sev its ok daddy isn't here and he won't ever hurt you again, you can most definitely have the blanket, you are a very good boy and it is all yours." She said putting a charm on the blanket to make the transfiguration permanent she didn't mind losing the robe.

"M-Mine? F-For keep? No d-daddy hit?" He sniffled out hopefully yet in total disbelief.

"Oh yes all yours to keep forever, and your daddy won't ever hurt you again, I won't let anyone hurt you again." She told him tears in her own eyes. "Now let me wrap you up you must be so cold." Lily assured.

Severus nodded and shivered as if in proof of Lily's words. He stilled, allowing himself to be wrapped in the plush softness of the warm blanket. He had never had anything of his very own let alone anything so nice… despite the pain he was in he snuggled down into it.

"OWY." He informed her pointing to his ribs and then his nose.

"Yes let's go make you all better," she said levitating both her bag and Severus' bag behind them. She had made sure to bookmark the page of the intended potion before she had placed it into her own book bag with the sample of potion.

Placing a disillusionment charm on the both of them, not wanting to be stopped or questioned, she left the cold dark dungeon room cradling the little boy close.

"W-Where mummy n daddy?" Severus asked on the walk up to the hospital wing.

"Oh Sev, mummy and daddy are gone, they had an accident and went to sleep forever." She explained as best as she could to the little boy.

Severus seemed to process this information for a few moments, he didn't seem as distraught as one would think a small child would be at hearing his parents were gone for good, though Lily suppose considering how poorly he was treated Severus was quite possibly relieved at the prospect.

"S-Sev tay wif Lily? Lily take care Sev?" He asked hopefully.

Lily felt her heart beat faster at the child's request, how could she say no to something like that? She didn't want to say no to it even if she could have brought herself to.

"Yes, Sev, you will stay with me, I will take care of you, good care of you, you needn't be afraid anymore," she said holding the boy close still mindful of his ribs.

Entering the hospital wing she made sure no one was around before canceling out the charm keeping them hidden.

"Madam Pomfrey?" She called into the empty sterile room.

The white clad medi which bustled her way out of her office only to stop short when spotting the bruised and beaten baby.

"What happened? Who is this?" She demanded. Lily Evans rarely ever graced her ward with her presence other than to help out sometimes on weekends. she liked the medi witch and enjoyed helping take care of patients. she wanted to be a healer one day and Poppy encouraged her, more than happy to show her things and more then glad for the help when things got busy. She was always happy to help feed the curiosity of a child that wanted to go into her line of work. So the fact that she was here now in the middle of the afternoon on a week day with an injured baby of all things threw the medi witch through a loop.

"This is Severus." Lily told her.

"He had a bit of a potions mishap..." She had issues trying to keep her tears at bay.

Poppy took the scared child, who immediately started to cry, from Lily and placed him down on a bed.

"I need a full explanation." She said looking at Lily.

Lily took a deep breath and explained everything that had happened from the time she had found Severus. She gave the potions book and sample to the medi witch as well.

"Do we know what happened to him that he is so beat up?" She asked.

"No Ma'am he was like that when I found him even before he de aged, but he wasn't like that when I left him before going to see the headmaster." Lily answered.

"I have a feeling I know what is going on and I am going to have a talk with the headmaster on the way he deals with bullies, or rather, does not deal with them," she said barely holding back her own tears. She had a soft spot for Severus and the fact that he had felt so hopeless that he had tried to take his own life broke her heart… Oh she had some things to say to the Headmaster all right, but right now she had a scared and hurting toddler to deal with.

Lily frowned and then the meaning of the medi witches words sunk it, it had been the Marauders! Of course it had been why hadn't Lily thought of that. Of course they would seek revenge for having been put in detention, of course they would think it had been Severus who had told, they always thought the worst of the boy. She silently fumed at them and to think James really thought she would date him!!

Severus was sitting on the bed sobbing quietly, he knew better then to cry loudly and interrupt the adults when they were busy. He froze up when the lady in white approached him, though he did get the vague sense he knew her, and liked her just like Lily and so he managed to calm. That was, until she tried and take the blanket off of him and put it to the side. The moment Poppy pulled at the blanket Severus started sobbing loudly.

"M-Mine!! Lily p-pomise m-mine!!" he sobbed, yet he made no attempt to grab it back as a normal toddler would have done in the same situation. He simply sobbed for its loss, in his young mind the Lady in white was taking away the only thing he had ever been given; the only thing that had ever been promised he could keep forever, but he knew better then to try and stop her if she wanted to take it, no matter how much it hurt him.

The fact that he did not attempt to grab back what he thought was his struck Poppy as odd and wrong. There was something very wrong with the little boys emotional state if how he was acting at the moment was anything to go on, though it all just fed into the abuse she knew the boy had suffered.

"Shhh now Severus," She cooed "I am not taking it away, I just need to see you, here, why don't you just put it next to you. You can hold onto it as long as it doesn't cover your body so I can see what I am doing ok?" She asked pushing the blanket to the side and allowing him to grab a large portion of it in one little fist.

Poppy tried to keep her face emotionless, not wanting to scare the child as she took in the bruises on his emaciated frame. She wanted to scream, wanted to draw blood from whoever had treated the boy so but she kept herself calm and took out her wand.

This too rout about an unforeseen reaction.

Severus stared up in utter horror "NO BAD STICK" He sobbed loudly "Be good!! Sev be good!! No bad stick!!" Pleading sobs wracked his little body sending more pain through his broken ribs.

Poppy could feel the anger boil in her again. She knew there was only one thing that could provoke such fear of a wand in a child who had been born into a home with a magical parent. If Eileen Snape was not already dead she would have been when the medi which got her hands on her.

She had always known Severus had been abused at home, but until now she did not realize just how badly.

Severus sobbed as if his life depended on it and then held his arms out to Lily. She would save him from the bad stick, he knew she would.

His mother had never used the Cruatiouse on him as that was far to traceable by the ministry. Really, Eileen never wanted to abuse her child but under the threats of much worse from Tobias if she did not discipline him in such ways she relented. The less of two evils she had always told herself and so she had often sent stinging hexes as well as many other mild yet painful hexes at her baby. Most were simple and relatively harmless – they flew around the halls of Hogwarts on an almost daily basis.

Tobias insisted she use magic to punish the boy often in hopes to make the child scared of it. He hoped that maybe being scared of magic would make Severus's own magic go away.

Lily quickly lifted the child up and sat on the bed with him in her lap stroking his head in attempts to calm him.

"Sev, she isn't going to hurt you, it isn't a bad stick, it's her special magic wand and it will make you all better, I promise." Lily soothed.

"G-Good stick?? N-No hurt Sev?" Severus sniffled clinging tightly to his blanket and leaning back into Lily for comfort.

"Yes, I promise." This time it was Madame Pomfrey who reassured the toddler.

Severus seemed a bit skeptical but allowed the medi witch to wave the wand over his ribs. He calmed even more as he felt warmth envelope him and the pain in his abdomen receded. He breathed a bit easier and snuggled deeper into Lily.

This convinced Severus that the white Lady was a good nice Lady and that he did indeed like her.

Poppy then set to work on his bruised face, healing him first with her wand and then smoothing in a generous amount of bruise cream, making sure to reset and heal the broken nose perfectly to prevent the same malformation the boys nose had taken on the first time around from a poorly healed break.

Severus relaxed a great deal as the pain left his body and he let out a relieved sigh snuggling the blanket close to him.

Then came the hard part, getting the baby to take the nasty tasting skele-grow.

Pouring a child sized amount of the rancid potion she turned to Severus.

"Okay Sev, this potion will make you all better but it is going to taste really icky. However if you drink it all up like a good boy I'll bet I have a chocolate frog with your name on it." Poppy bargained.

Severus took the potion , he wanted to be a good boy, and he had never ever had chocolate before. Daddy had eaten it and it looked yummy but Sev was never allowed any of it. So he took a deep breath and downed the potion as fast as he could.

"ICKKYY!!" he sobbed making a face more tears born of total disgust rolling down his cheeks.

Lily rubbed his back.

"I know Sev, it's really icky but it is all gone, you are such a good boy." Lily praised as Madam Pomfrey dug in a drawer and pulled out a chocolate frog. She opened the wrapping and aimed it so when the frog jumped it would jump right into Severus' hands.

It worked and the baby actually let out a giggle as the frog landed in his outstretched hand. It was a wonderful sound; a sound neither which had ever heard come from Severus before and they both vowed that they would make it a goal to hear it again, and much more often.

Severus looked at the candy and then looked at both witches questioningly.

"Sev, Sev has dis?" he asked with wide black eyes. Now that his bruises were healed he was an absolutely adorable little baby even though he was more than a little too thin.

He had longish black hair that curled itself at his neck and around his ears, his eyes were large and dark but they had a sparkle in them that had yet to be put out. Lily supposed that had happened sometime before Hogwarts but not quite at such a young age and she wondered now that it was back, if it wasn't too late to keep it there. His nose was actually rather tiny and button like and Lily wondered how different the grown up Sev would look without his nose so large and deformed from having been broken and not treated.

"Yes you can eat all you like. I promised you the frog for being such a good boy and taking your potion." Poppy affirmed.

Severus looked scared momentarily, as if the moment he tried to take a bite someone would beat him for having dared to. But he was getting encouraging looks from both witches and so he sunk his teeth into the chocolate which had started to melt in his hands. Encouraged further by the wonderful taste and lack of scolding or hitting for having eaten the candy, he started in on the chocolate the way a toddler should.

Severus found out something just then, not only where these people really nice but he liked chocolate, a lot!

While Severus was distracted with eating the candy Poppy ran scans to determine his age and health. She frowned and looked at Lily.

"He is just 26 months and very under weight. My scans show that he has already suffered many breaks and contusions other than the ones I just healed. However the most concerning thing is the neural pathways in his brain. It seems they are still that of his fifteen year old self, yet altered a bit, meaning his memories are all still there but somehow buried by his toddler mind and memories. What this means is that his memories can be triggered. They may not be full memories but they will at least be vague feelings he may get the sense that he likes someone or is scared of someone, though he may not know why. He may get bits of memories that he doesn't understand fully or he may get full memories though they will be viewed through his child mind. I don't know as this is very unprecedented but will most likely be very confusing and scary for Severus. We need to get him to the headmaster and see what he wants to do with him, as his parents died a few months ago they cannot take them, not that I would allow them to even if they were able, not after my findings." Poppy said, anger creeping into her voice.

"No! I won't let Dumbledore take him; this is his fault just as much as it is his parents or those jerks Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew! We have to inform him of course but I won't let him take him, I am going to take care of Severus. I promised him I would and I don't care what anyone says about it, if I won't get support here I'll leave Hogwarts. My parents would love to have me home again and they would be more than thrilled to have little Sev here." Lily threatened.

"Calm down Ms. Evans." Poppy coaxed.

"I agree that you should look after Severus until a solution can be found. It seems that his love for you has not been forgotten through his de aging and he is much attached. I fear it would be detrimental to separate him from you, he needs all the love, stability and safety he can get. You have my support and I will make my position known both to the headmaster and deputy headmistress, as well as aid you in any way I can." She assured her.

Lily seemed to calm a bit and nodded, kissing Severus who had once more wrapped himself in his blanket, on the head.

Poppy set about transfiguring a nappy and a pair of green footsy pajamas with a silver snake to match his blanket. When she was done she handed them to Lily not thinking it a good idea to take the child from her at that moment.

Lily first cleaned the melted chocolate from the toddler who had finished his treat but was covered in its remnants and then set about dressing the naked boy, who gave her no trouble as she put the nappy on and then maneuvered all four appendages into the pajamas.

Severus let out a contented sigh; he had never had pajamas that felt so very good before. In fact he spent most nights, no matter how cold, in nothing more than a nappy and sometimes not even that. Waking up covered in his own waste due to lack of nappy was unpleasant, but nearly as unpleasant as being beaten for making a mess that he had no control over.

Lily lifted Severus up and held him to her. She felt the unbelievable need to just cuddle him, make up for all the cuddles he had never gotten. She was not surprised to see the blanket still clasped tightly too him and she was glad she could have given him something that he loved so much. It had been worth the lost robes, in fact she would have given her last galleon to make him happy.

Severus was unused to be snuggled but he was not about to complain, in fact he found it was very much enjoyable to be held tightly by his Lily. Reaching up he twirled one finger in Lily's long red hair, he liked her long red hair, the thumb of his other hand went to his mouth. Daddy had never let mummy give him a pacifier but when no one was looking he would sneak his thumb into his mouth, they couldn't take those away… he hoped. Even at his young age he realized it wasn't above his father to amputate appendages.

Lily frowned, sucking his thumbs, though age appropriate, would cause little sores on his thumbs and she didn't want that so she gently pulled the digit from his mouth.

Severus whimpered, Lily wouldn't let him have that comfort either and he felt tears in his eyes. He had hoped and thought his Lily would be different. However the tears, sadness, and disappointment quickly disappeared as he felt a pacifier, also green with a small silver snake on it (transfigured by Lily from a tongue depressor) held to his lips and he took it into his mouth gratefully, the sucking relaxing him.

"I just don't want you to get sores on your little thumbs Sev." Lily explained and smiled; he looked like such a little angel.

Severus sighed contentedly and nodded, his Lily did love him after all.

The way Severus had looked at her, a mixture of disbelief and appreciation as she offered him the pacifier, told her he had never been allowed one before and that was simply one more thing that broke her heart.

She didn't know how long Severus would be like this or what they would do once he was back to himself, but she was determined to make the best of this time while she had it to makeup to him everything that had gone wrong for him the first time around.

Maybe, just maybe if she did a good enough job when Severus was set back to rights he would not feel as if he needed to die to find peace and happiness.

Poppy smiled as she watched them and called for a house elf asking him to get food for the child as she was sure he was starving. By the looks of him he needed every calorie they could get him to consume.

The house elf nodded and moments later was back with a baby bottle filled with juice, which Poppy appropriated long enough to add some nutrient potions to it before handing it to the toddler. The house elf had also brought a cut up piece of chicken and carrots.

Poppy made her way to the headmaster's office leaving Lily to feed Severus while she took care of setting the old man straight.

Lily took the tray of food and placed it in front of her so she could feed Sev. She took another tongue depressor and transfigured it into a pacifier leash, also green with little silver snakes adorning it. She snapped on end to Severus' pajamas and the other to his pacifier so that he would not lose it.

Severus gave a smile, one little hand coming up to touch the newest thing given to him, he had never had so many things. He pushed the pacifier from his mouth with his tongue now satisfied that he would not lose it, as it was attached to him, and pushed the nipple of the bottle in his mouth drinking greedily from it.

Lily rubbed his back.

"Slow down Sev, you will make yourself sick; I promise no one will take it from you." Lily assured and Severus slowed his inhalation of the juice a bit before stopping and pulling it from his mouth, taking a gasp of air. He had forgotten to breath with his eagerness to drink.

"Good boy." Lily praised before putting a piece of chicken to his mouth.

Severus took it eagerly; no one had ever fed him before. The times that he was actually allowed to eat food was simply tossed into his cot with him, like one would feed a caged animal at the zoo. But his Lily was the best and she treated him so good. He wished his Lily was his mummy.

Lily had gotten most of the chicken and some of the carrots into the toddler before he showed no more interest in food and was simply content with his bottle; Lily simply put the plate off to the side.

"Severus, if you are hungry or thirsty I want to know, I will always make sure you get something to eat or drink when you want it, but you have to ask me. I promise I won't get mad and I promise I will always try to get you some food or a bottle as quick as I can, okay?" She asked knowing that was a lot to take in for a little boy who was so used to going hungry.

"Lily gib Sev food when Sev ungry." Severus repeated with a nod showing his understanding.

Lily smiled. She had always thought Severus was one of the most brilliant people she knew and it was clear to her that he was a brilliant baby as well. Why any parents wouldn't be proud to call him theirs was beyond her.

"Yes exactly." She confirmed.

"Sev no more ungry Sev juicy." He said holding up the bottle now only a quarter of the way filled with juice to show Lily what he wanted.

"Thirsty." She corrected "and you don't have to eat anymore chicken, you can have as much juice as you like." She said kissing his head again.

"Firsty." He repeated before bringing the bottle back up to his mouth.

"So very smart." Lily praised him and he snuggled in closer to her smiling around the bottles nipple at the compliment, no one had ever said nice things to him or about him before.

He rested his head against her shoulder, he felt safe there because his Lily loved him. She thought he was smart.

Just then Dumbledore made his way into the Hospital wing.

Lily instinctively cradled the child closer to her, and turned slightly away from the Headmaster, as if trying to protect Severus from the old man.

The venerable wizard closed his eyes and lowered his head for a moment as if in pain.

"Miss Evans," he began, "Madam Pomfrey relayed some of the events to me, but she was rather…forceful, and not all facts made it through clearly. Would you kindly explain to me what has occurred, here?"

Lily held the whimpering baby closer – the calm and content atmosphere ruined as Severus obviously reacted badly to Dumbledore.

She began to relay the entire series of events, including the things Sev had managed to tell her after his de-aging.

"…so his father abused him, and you LET those horrid boys abuse him as well!" she accused, her green eyes spitting fire, not caring that it was her Professor she was addressing, "You hurt him and you made him feel so awful and worthless he wanted to DIE! I hope you are proud of yourself."

She turned away, not wanting him to see the tears that spilled over her cheeks.

Little Sev reached up and patted her face. "Lily no cwy," he said, "Ba' man go 'way! No hurt Lily." Severus demanded his eyes narrowed and he actually glared at the headmaster.

The Headmaster sat down heavily on one of the beds.

"I have failed him…him, and Messieurs Potter and Black as well," for a moment he covered his face with his long fingers. Sure, Severus had been the one beaten on, but the headmaster had done the marauders no favors by letting them become bullies. Letting them get away with everything like that did not make for healthy, well adjusted children and unhealthy maladjusted children did not make for upstanding adults. He had failed them all!

"Everyone failed him," Lily said, kissing the small face and shushing Severus, "everyone."

"Everyone but you, Miss Evans," the twinkle returned to the blue eyes, "obviously he loves you."

Lily blushed a little, but with Severus snuggling to her, she could hardly deny it.

"I will look after him," she said, determined, "since we have no idea how long this will last…"

"The sample you managed to collect of the potion that did this has been given to Professor Slughorn and he is analyzing it right now. Until we know exactly what the changes in that potion were we will not know exactly what to expect or how to reverse it, though I dare say this may be a blessing in disguise. I will provide you with whatever you need," the old man promised, "Madam Pomfrey already made it clear that she will closely supervise his health and recovery."

He stood up. "May I see him, please?"

Severus whimpered again as the old man approached. He didn't like him, he didn't like him at all, it made his tummy feel bad to be near him and so he hid his face in his Lily's chest because his Lily would protect him from the bad man

"Poor child," Dumbledore stroked a long finger down Sev's cheek causing the little boy to shudder and whimper again, "I will never be able to express to you how truly sorry I am." And it was true, he had been sick to his stomach since Poppy had stormed into his office and demanded an audience.

He always knew he had a certain affinity for his house, they where special to him but he had not realized exactly how blind an eye he had turned to their behavior.

He had never meant to favor them quite so much, though now that he had taken some time to go over all the events that had gone on between the Gryffindors and Severus - well, more like Poppy had forcefully pulled the memories from him placed them in his pensive and then pushed him in with them- he could see what a grievous error he had made.

Looking them over with hindsight and new realizations he had been completely heartbroken to see what he had done.

Not only had he let the Gryffindors off with nary a punishment but he had instead punished Severus for defending himself. What kind of message was that giving the boy? No wonder he felt unwanted and worthless, no wonder he had sought to take his own life.

Dumbledore had almost screamed at him with his actions that he was worthless and not worthy of being protected. Not to mention all the unearned punishments he had been given, even Dumbledore could see that was no more than abuse. He had abused the boy, heaped more abuse on a child he should have been protecting from the abuse others had been heaping on him.

The generous donations that the Potter and Black families made yearly where not worth the life of one of his other students, no matter how good getting the donations made him look to the school board. He could no longer turn a blind eye and play favorites even if it meant the school lost money.

Dumbledore had already determined that, the Potter and Black donations would be going into an account in Gringotts for Severus when he was returned to his own age. It was a small fortune and would set the boy up for a very long time if not for life. It was the least the school, the Potters and the Blacks owed to the boy, the Blacks might not care what their son had done but he knew for certain that the Potters would be appalled by the bully their son had become. Since they had nearly adopted Sirius they were sure they would be less than pleased with him as well, when he told them all that had been going on.

He was also sure they would be less than happy with him as well for allowing it all to transpire or informing them so they could get involved, earlier.

From what he had seen in his memories those boys should have been suspended ten times over if not outright expelled for what they had done to Severus. Really where was the Gryffindor honor picking on someone who could not reasonably defend himself against four others. What was the sport and bravery in picking on someone you outnumbered four to one. He hated to admit but he was ashamed of his Gryffindors. As much as that admission hurt to make he realized it was one he had to if he were to be honest with himself and after today he needed to be much more honest with himself about what was going on around him. See what was there and not just what he wanted to see.

"Lily 'tay wif Sev!" the child grasped Lily's shirt and his blanket tighter, "not hurt Sev!"

"Shhh," Lily hushed, "the headmaster will never hurt you again," she sent a fierce glance at the old man, "he promised, and he'd better mean it."

"I wish you would stay in the castle, Miss Evans," the Headmaster stepped back, giving the child the space he needed, "I would like the opportunity to at least see him occasionally, and hopefully, prove to him that he no longer needs to fear me."

Lily pondered. "I am not sure if I should," she said, "Hogwarts is hardly a healthy environment for him. Potter and Black will want revenge. They broke his ribs, Headmaster, when he was fifteen, I know it was them. They were probably angry at finally being punished for something they did to him and wanted to take it out on him. What do you think will happen when they beat up a two year old that hard?"

The blue eyes became hard and sad at the same time. "They will not bother you, Miss Evans, you or Severus. I assure you that."

Lily was not convinced, but decided to give the Headmaster the benefit of the doubt.

"I will stay but I have my conditions. One, you keep those jerks on a tight leash and I mean if they even look at Severus funny I want them in detention. They are never going to treat him badly again. Two, you question them about the beating Severus received and punish them as you would have punished Severus if it had been him that had done it. You know you always punished him far too harshly and often for things he didn't do. Three, I am not going to stay in the Gryffendor dorms it is too dangerous for Severus to be that close to them, there are plenty of rooms in this castle I want one in a safe convenient spot preferably close to Madam Pomfrey. Four, he gets to stay with me no matter where I have to be or what class I have to be in unless there is someone that HE feels comfortable being left with. I will not leave him with someone he does not want to be left with. He is scared enough as it is. Lastly, this weekend I want a Hogsmead pass for me and Severus, he needs some things. He has never had anything new or nice of his own and I want him to be able to pick out what cloths he would like as well as a collection of toys. We have a lot of making up to do for this little boy and I think getting him some nice things is a good start." Lily looked at the Headmaster as she finished as if daring him to deny her any of her requests.

"Miss Evans, of course you have permission, and I shall chaperone you myself. After all, I cannot let you wander around the village on your own. Furthermore, I will provide you with all the money you need. This should not come out of your own pocket, and I owe Severus a great deal. I will have the chambers next to Madame Pomfrey's, which happen to be empty made up for you immediately and will take care of the boy's right away. As for taking him everywhere with you, while I agree he will be most comfortable with you I am not sure it is safe for him in all of your classes. I have talked to Poppy and she is willing to look after him during those times if that is agreeable," he told her, he knew it wasn't much but at the moment it was the least he could do. After all the money from the Potters and Blacks were going into an account for the boy and Dumbledore needed to pay his own dues, it wouldn't be cheap buying the child a wardrobe and all the toys he could possibly want but with the size of Dumbledore's vaults it would hardly hurt him.

Lily thought about this a moment, having the headmaster foot the bill definitely took the strain off her and would allow her to pick out the best of everything for him without fear of not being able to afford it. She wasn't poor by any means but her parents were not as well off as Dumbledore.

"Okay, but any personal contact between the two of during this trip will be initiated by Sev. if I feel you are trying to force yourself on him I will be out of Hogwarts so fast your head will spin." She warned

"And he seems to like Madame Pomfrey enough so, yes if she doesn't mind I will bring him here during my more dangerous classes." She agreed.

"I assure you, Miss Evans, I have no intention of causing him any further pain. I merely wish to make up at least in some small way for all the hurt I caused him. To make amends - not, I assure you, to relieve myself of the guilt that is rightfully mine, but to make certain he receives a small portion of what should have been his long ago." Dumbledore could not help but feel sadden by the fact that she felt the need to protect Severus from him. Not that he could blame her and he was rather glad she was so protective. Severus deserved to be loved and safe.

Severus looked completely and totally exhausted but he refused to let his guard down and go to sleep with Dumbledore in the room. Lily could see him fight with all his might to keep his eyes open when she could tell they wanted to close so badly.

Seeing Severus fighting to stay awake Dumbledore called a house elf and had him get the chambers right next to Poppy's ready for Lily and Severus.

"That was Meeper." Dumbledore said "He will be your house elf he will bring you anything you need for Sev as well as clean your quarters." Dumbledore informed them.

Having finished his juice Severus had placed the pacifier back in his mouth and was snuggling against Lily his blanket wrapped tightly around him.

Looking at the blanket Lily remembered.

"Oh, and I am going to need a new set of robes while we are out, I transfigured one of mine into that blanket and put a permanent charm on in because its Sev's now. I said he could keep it and I don't plan on going back on that, it is his forever." The last part was said more the Severus than the headmaster.

"Yes, yes of course, and those will be on me as well…" he put up a hand to stall her argument "It is the least I can do considering you will be taking care of Severus."

Lily sighed but nodded.

A few moments later Meeper popped back in to let them know the rooms where ready.

"Thank you Meeper that is all. Come along Lily, I think Sev would like to go to sleep." Dumbledore said leading them to their rooms.

The headmaster did not linger about, sensing the child was not at ease with him and would not like him to hang around. He said his good nights and left, he had a few Gryffindors to deal with before curfew.

"Well now little one I think it's time for bed what do you think?" She asked the baby cradled in her arms his only answer was a yawn making his pacifier fall out of his mouth, that made Lily smile. She walked him into the room that had been indicated to be the nursery where she carefully placed the half sleeping child into the cot.

To her horror Severus' eyes went wide all traces of sleep gone and he started to sob loudly.

"No cot!! Sev be good Sev be good no cot." He cried.

Lily quickly pulled him and his blanket out of the cot and pulled him close.

"SHH no Sev you weren't bad." She soothed.

"M-Mummy put Sev in cot s-say Sev n-naughty l-leave Sev in cot no food no cwean nappy cus Sev naughty boy m-mummy leave Sev lossa days." He sobbed out.

Lily felt sick to her stomach, was there anything those monsters had not ruined for him; leaving a child in a cot for days without anything to eat without even changing him it was disgusting!

"Oh no Sev the cot is not punishment, you only ever need to be in there when you sleep because it is safer for you so you don't fall out or go wandering," ahe soothed but Severus was too scared of the cot to listen. Instead he simply kept chanting 'no cot no cot Sev be good.' Over and over again.

"Ok, ok Sev Shhh no cot Sev no cot, you come sleep with me in the big bed hmm how does that sound?"

At this Severus seemed to calm and he looked up at Lily with wide obsidian eyes.

"T-tay wif Lily, sweep in Lily big bed?" He asked sniffling.

"Yes, let's go we are both very tired." She said carrying him into her room where her things had already been brought too.

She sat Severus on the bed and told him to stay right there, not that she thought he would move, while she went to change in the bathroom. She was as fast as she could be; wanting to get back to Severus as quick as she could and just as she thought he was in exactly the same place she had left him.

"You are such a good boy." She said kissing his head and taking one of the transfigured diapers Madam Pomfrey had given her to use till they could get some that weekend, and made short order of changing Severus into a nice clean nappy cleaning him with a cool cloth that was also provided.

"You will always have food when you are hungry, you will always get a fresh clean nappy when you're dirty, you will always get something to drink when you are thirsty and you will always get lots of hugs and kisses, you don't need to be scared anymore." She told him and it was his Lily telling him so he knew it was true because his Lily wouldn't lie to him. She would protect him and love him just like she promised she would he knew it.

Picking up the newly changed and re-dressed baby she lay down in bed snuggling him close.

Putting up charms and such to keep Severus from being hurt or falling out of bed and another to alert her when he woke, she pulled the blanket on the bed back and crawled in underneath, she tucked him in under his blanket wrapping the duvet from the bed around herself and him as well to give him extra warmth.

Severus was fast asleep nestled in the crook of her arm before she had even finished tucking them in.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply borrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Just so everyone knows this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!! Also I changed the time line of events I know that in the books the prank on Sev was right after OWLS but I changed the time here to fit my story better so this is taking place starting in mid November so let's say it happened after the beginning of the year tests maybe practice OWLS to see what needs to be brushed up on.

OoOoOo

Dumbledore sat in his desk chair, his face buried in his hands. This had been by far one of the worst days he could remember having since the fall of Grindelwald.

It all started when Poppy barged into his office earlier that evening; he had never before seen the mediwitch so angry. Not that he could blame her for it once he had heard what was going on.

Though he still didn't think it all warranted an assault on his person.

After she had told him – or rather, screamed at him - what had happened, she continued to rant…

"Albus Dumbledore I cannot believe you have turned a blind eye to this over and over again, despite what I have been telling you since the boys first day here!! I think it is past time you took a good hard look at what has really been going on around here," she screamed. With that, she rolled his pensieve over next to them and pointed her wand at his head. He didn't even have time to flinch or protest before she was pulling strand after silvery strand of memory out of his head, putting each stolen memory into the shimmering pool of the pensive.

Poppy had then positioned herself behind the headmaster and pushed him, hard, into the magical pool of misappropriated memories.

The memories had not at all been pleasant and Dumbledore felt more than a little sick when he had finally surfaced from them over a half an hour later. Shivering and slightly green, he didn't even want to know how much worse those memories would have been if they had come from the child's head and not from his own. At least he had the benefit of having the perspective be his own and even with that it had been horrible.

Poppy of course was no longer in his office giving him ample time to ponder over what he had done. He took some time to compose himself before heading to the hospital wing. Then his visit there had done nothing but make him feel even worse.

After meeting with Lily and little Severus in the hospital wing he had gone to his office and summoned James, Sirius, Remus and Peter.

After sitting with them for over an hour, trying to get them to tell him the truth about what had caused Severus' most recent injuries, he had finally gone and used legilimency on the boys. Though it was not allowed under normal circumstances, under extreme ones such as these a little leeway was allowed to the headmaster. He had been completely appalled at what he had seen in young Mr. Blacks mind.

He had then dismissed Remus and Peter as they had nothing to with the beating, though he told them this issue was far from closed, before turning back to the remaining boys.

He told both Black and Potter to pack their bags and be ready the next morning as their parents would be there to claim them. He did not, however, tell them exactly what their punishment was to be. He thought a night of angst and worry about the uncertainly of their fate would do both boys some good. Let them sweat it out a bit.

Now he sat with six very angry parents. The Potters, the Pettigrew's and the Lupins, none of whom seemed particularly pleased. Dumbledore had called the Blacks as well and he had not been surprised when they told him they had relinquished all rights to Sirius to the Potters and that they should deal with the brat.

All the parents had been unhappy but Mrs. Potter had truly been livid.

Dumbledore had shown them all some of his most relevant pensieve memories and by the time they had come out again Mrs. Potter was nearly spitting nails.

"My son has become a bully and you allowed it, you didn't even see fit to inform us of his behavior so that we could step in! Did it ever occur to you that this was not how we wanted our son to behave!! We did not fancy ourselves raising a little thug!" She had screamed at him the other parents simply nodding their agreement.

They were currently waiting for the boys to make their way to the office, no doubt they were all nervous about what to expect. This whole being in trouble thing was new to all of them. After being allowed to get away with everything, to suddenly be called out on it like this was more than a little scary for the boys.

All six parents sat in chairs scattered around the headmaster's office and all eyes were currently trained on the door.

Moments later four very nervous and scared looking boys made their way into the office, escorted by a very disappointed looking deputy headmistress.

"So kind of you boys to join us." The headmaster addressed the boys.

"I trust the both of you have packed your things." He said to James and Sirius, upon receiving a nod from ashen faced devastated boys, he continued.

"As you all now know by now Severus Snape attempted to take his life last night. Your nasty stunt pushing him over the edge. He was thankfully not successful; however it has opened my eyes and it has come to my attention that I have not been doing any of you any favors allowing your behavior to slide. I have gone through my pensieve and made a list of each of your transgressions and appropriate punishments. Each of your parents have been given a copy of the lists and will deal with you appropriately as well. Mr. Potter, for your misdeeds you will be suspended for the next three weeks until Christmas, you may return to us after the holiday. However be warned; one more misstep and it will be expulsion. You should have been expelled long ago but I will take my part of the blame in all of this. It is of course partially my fault. If I would have called you out before it would not have escalated. While your behavior has been nothing less than appalling Mr. Potter, it still has paled in comparison to Mr. Blacks which has been nothing short of sadistic."

"Mr. Black, because of that you are suspended until further notice. Both you and Mr. Potter will receive therapy to get to the bottom of why you need to be such bullies. However Mr. Black, you seem to garner real joy out of watching Mr. Snape suffer and that concerns me. You may not go around casting Unforgivables, but that does not make your behavior any less dark then a dark wizards. You are heading down a dangerous path. I know you do not wish to be a dark wizard Mr. Black, you do not wish to be like your parents and family in their support of the dark arts, but your behavior has been no better than theirs, only different.

You need to learn that hurting others, is hurting others no matter how you go about it – be it with with a nasty mouth, fists and hexes as you have, or with dark magic. The results are often the same. You will not be allowed back into this school until your therapist assures me you are no longer a danger to others and have started to really work through the issues that cause the behavior that has gotten you here. You also will be given no slack; one more misstep and you will be expelled. You will also be going with the Potters; your parents have relinquished all parental rights to you to them. Your parents informed me, Mr. Potter, that you both will spend your time doing chores and whatever other punishments Mr. and Mrs. Potter feel are appropriate. Your father also insists that you will be kept separated until you can prove to be positive influences on each other instead of negative. You will be in separate wings of the Potter manor and will not see each other unsupervised during James's three week suspension and the holidays. We will see about letting you two spend time with each other again after Mr. Black has been cleared to come back Hogwarts." Dumbledore explained and he could see the boys deflate more and more as their punishment was revealed. Sirius looked on the verge of tears, though Dumbledore was not sure if it was from the punishment, from being told his behavior was not better than a dark wizards, or from the fact that his parents had cared so little they had just given him to the Potters. He supposed it was likely a combination of all those things that created the pained and desperate demeanor in the young man.

Mr. Potter was glaring at the two boys who had their heads hung.

"Let's go now boys!" He demanded, grabbing an arm of each boy just hard enough to hurt, and pulling them, bodily, out of the headmaster's office. He was followed by Mrs. Potter, who stopped just long enough to put a check on Dumbledore's desk. She had told Dumbledore that she would be donating to the bank account he had set up for Severus once he was re-aged. The money was coming right out of James' own personal account, he would be short on spending cash for a very long time.

Dumbledore put the check securely in his desk drawer. He would deposit it for the boy later.

He then turned to Peter.

"Mr. Pettigrew, I was going to simply suspend you for the next three days for cheering and encouraging your friend's malicious behavior. Upon hearing of your behavior, though, your parents have decided Hogwarts is not the right place for you. They have found a small magical school in Germany with a zero tolerance policy on bullying that is very happy to have you. It is a very small school, the smallest magical school in existence and your parents feel it would be a much better environment for you. I am inclined to agree." Dumbledore told him.

Peter paled.

"B-B-But…" He stuttered.

"We don't want to hear it Peter. We have made up our mind and there is not a thing you can say to change them" Mr. Pettigrew told him.

"Now come, your father and I will help you pack your things. Thank you Headmaster for finally bringing this to our attention, even if belatedly so," Peter's mother said before grabbing Peter by the ear and pulling him from the room, leaving the headmaster with one very nervous, repentant looking Remus and the rather disappointed looking Lupins.

"Remus, I know you had minimal involvement in the goings on but still your parents needed to be informed. Your only punishment from me will be to help Lily. Severus's failed attempt has left him a mere toddler who trusts only her and does not tolerate other people's company very well. She will need whatever help she can get. I hope you find through taking care of him that Severus is a very wonderful little boy. Perhaps when he re-ages you could be friends, you both could use a REAL friend," the headmaster said.

"Now, your parents want to talk with you alone so I will excuse myself. You may use my office," he told the Lupins as he left, followed by Minerva who had her lips pressed so tightly together they were nearly nonexistent.

Mrs. Lupin shook her head, a tear in her eye. "Why, honey? I don't understand. You know what it feels like, to be the outsider. Why would you stand by while your friends bullied that poor boy? Please, Remus, make me understand."

Remus bowed his head. "They...they were nice to me. The only ones who were nice to me. When they found out I am a werewolf, they weren't disgusted - they helped me. No one else had ever done that. I just wanted friends mum." His voice was choked and filled with the strain of his unshed tears.

He could feel the tears mercilessly prick his eyes and he was sure that things were only going to get worse from here.

Mr. Lupin, who had been silent throughout, heaved a sigh. "I can see why you were reluctant to part with them," he said heavily, "but I cannot condone your behavior, nor can I let it slide - you should have realized on your own that they crossed the line a long time ago, Remus! Your headmaster obviously feels you don't deserve too much punishment, but we will add our own."

Remus' heart sank at his father's words. He had just wanted to fit in. He had been understandably scared at losing the only friends he had ever had. Yet now they were gone anyway, at least for the time being and he was left alone to deal with the aftermath of everything.

"Of course, you will already be helping your classmates, but from now until the summer, your pocket money will go to Lily, to help take care of the boy. Furthermore, you will no longer be a member of the Chess club."

Remus wanted to protest but thought better of it. "Yes, Dad," he said meekly biting back tears of shame and sadness that wanted to fall. Everything seemed to be falling down around his ears. A big fat tear made its way down his cheek as his father took away the only things he had left to look forward to now that his friends would be gone.

It was only November and no pocket money meant no trips to Hogsmead at all, all year, no Christmas presents for anyone. Not that he had any friends left to buy any for. He couldn't even pass the time with the chess club, which he had worked so hard at getting into as the competition for top seats in the club was very stiff. Not that it mattered. Without pocket money he couldn't afford to pay the monthly dues to the club anyway.

But Mr. Lupin was not done yet. "Instead, you will help out your classmates who are struggling to keep up in their classes. You have a fine mind, Remus - it is time you started using it. Make no mistake, I will request that your Head of House sends me a report every other week or so on your behavior, and I better get no more complaints about you."

Remus nodded miserably, more tears streaking down his cheeks as he fought to hold back the sobs that wanted to escape. It was all just too much, he had never meant for things to go this far and guilt was a feeling Remus felt well and felt hard. He was truly ashamed of himself, so ashamed he felt sick**. **

"Furthermore instead of coming away with us this Christmas on Holiday you will be spending it here helping Lily take care of the baby. She should not have to do it alone." Mr. Lupin added.

At this Remus did start full-out crying, his parents didn't even want him home for the holidays. Due to his lycanthropy he was used to being rejected, but being rejected by his own family was simply far too painful. That is what it felt like; it felt like his parents didn't want anything to do with him, that they didn't even want to spend the holiday with their only child.

He supposed he deserved it but that didn't make it hurt any less.

His father relented and laid a hand on his sons shoulder. "I know you never meant for that Snape boy to be hurt," he said, "my Remus is not cruel. Your mother and I are disappointed in your behavior, but I want you to know we do understand and we are not disappointed in YOU." Mr. Lupin assured.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. You a good man Remus, we sure have raised you to be one and we know you can do better." His father added.

"I am going to send you a few books on the results of bullying on children," his mother added, "and I expect you to read them, and write a book report on them. You will send it to me before Christmas."

Remus let out a whimper at this but still made no move to voice a protest. He could feel the weight of all the punishments heavy on him and he wondered if it could even get much worse.

"If we feel you are doing your best, we may allow you to rejoin the Chess club next term," his father smiled sadly. "I am also not forbidding you to see the Potter and the Black boy, especially not if they truly change their ways; but I hope you will come to see that perhaps they aren't the best of friends for you - despite the fact that they accepted you for who you are, and don't think I don't appreciate them for that!"

Remus swallowed thickly. "I wanted to believe them when they said Severus always started it," he admitted in shame, "because, how could they be cruel to him when they were so kind and understanding to ME? Is that strange, Dad?"

"Oh, Remus," Mr. Lupin pulled him in a hug, "No, it is not. None of us want to believe our friends can be that cruel. And even your Headmaster, who is much older and supposedly much wiser than you, was reluctant to believe it. But your mother and I want you to grow up into a man who stands firm for what he believes in, no matter what, and who dares to stand up to his friends when they are wrong as well as his enemies. We know you are insecure and scared your peers wont accept you if they ever find out you are a werewolf. We know you were scared to lose the people you thought were friends even if that meant sitting idly by while they behaved in a way you knew was wrong. Professor Dumbledore has arranged for a therapist for you as well. He will help you through those issues. He may be able to help you make true friends. Friends that won't dislike you because of your condition, but like you because of who you are, a wonderful smart child. If others can't see that it is their loss. The therapist is also a werewolf, who has been living in the muggle world and has gotten his psychiatry degree from Oxford. He is a friend of Dumbledore's and is eager to help a young werewolf like you. He has been through it all as well, he can help," his father assured wiping the tears from his child's cheeks with the pad of this thumb.

Remus took in deep hitched breaths trying not to sob, but he was miserable. He forced down more tears, he deserved to be miserable, as miserable as he had allowed his friends to make Snape.

OoOoOo

The next week and a half seemed to drag by slowly and were wretched for Remus. He had missed five Chess club meetings and he tried not to feel to terribly disappointed about it as he watched the other members go off to play, while he headed to the library for an afternoon of tutoring sessions.

It had been really hard on him when he'd had to let the rest of the club down and explain why he could no longer be a member. A lot of the younger kids had been looking forward to him teaching them strategy.

The tutoring sessions took up a lot of his time, he had three one hour sessions every afternoon. Then he had to go off to Lily's chambers to empty out the diaper pail and clean up the rooms. Dumbledore had made it his job for now, until Severus accepted him. He was to do what the house elves were supposed to do. If he could eventually get Severus to be at ease with him, and allow him to take on a more one on one role, the nasty cleaning jobs would go back to the house elves.

Right now Severus was skittish around anyone but Lily and Madame Pomfrey, though he didn't seem too terrified of Remus. At least, not as terrified as he was of Dumbledore. Still, it would take time for him to gain the child's trust.

After cleaning Lily's rooms he would skip dinner. He hadn't been eating much at meals anyway, his appetite nearly nonexistent as was often the case when he felt depressed or stressed. Besides, he needed the extra time to go back to his dorm, his now empty dorm to do homework and read the books his mum had sent. That took most of the night. Even with the extra time he got by skipping dinner he didn't usually crawl into bed until 3 am on most nights where he would sob himself to sleep, only to wake up early the next morning for classes and then the entire thing started again.

He had run out of chocolate a few days before everything had gone down. He had been planning on getting some more at Hogsmeade that weekend but now that he had no pocket money he couldn't replace it. It was sort of like being kicked while you were down.

The next day, Friday, Lily happened to be in the room when Remus came by to clean, as Fridays she didn't have any afternoon classes, and she noticed how very miserable he looked.

"Hey." She greeted taking in the bags under his eyes, the overall sad disposition and frowned.

"Have you gotten any sleep the last few nights?" She asked.

"A little, I don't have much time, I have to tutor after classes and then I have to come here and clean the place. Then I have my own homework and studying to do not to mention the three books my mum sent me that she wants a book report on by Christmas. I wouldn't have any time for chess club even if I hadn't been told I had to quit it as part of my punishment." He told her as he cleaned the room the muggle way.

"Are you at least allowed to go to Hogsmeade?" she asked, wondering if he had been grounded from that as well.

"They didn't forbid me but there isn't much point in going, I don't have any pocket money, my parents said I have to give it all to you to help with Sev till the end of the year." Remus shrugged.

"Remus, we don't need your money Dumbledore is paying for everything." Lily told him.

Remus shrugged again.

"Doesn't matter. Its part of my parents's punishment." Remus told her miserably; of all the punishments he had been given not having any pocket money for the rest of the year had to be the worst. Right behind not being allowed to come home for Christmas; none of his punishments were worse then that.

He never got a huge amount of money but enough to let him buy the little things he wanted, like candy and jokes from Zonkos. Little things that made school more fun. It was also a rather helpless feeling not having any money at all. He didn't even have any in case of an emergency. He now knew how Severus must have felt all these years, with no money to do anything fun. The few coins Snape occasionally had, Remus's friends had taken from him

"Wait - so not only do you have to tutor our classmates, clean up around here and quit the chess club but you got your pocket money taken away for the entire rest of the year?" She asked indignantly. It seemed awfully unfair that Remus got punished so harshly. Sure, he should have spoken up but he was scared, that was understandable. Did they have to take away any happiness Remus could possibly have?

"Yes…. And… and… my parents told me I wasn't allowed to come home for holidays, that I have to stay here to help you." He choked up a bit. Informing her of the last part of his punishment brought back the horrid feelings from when he'd first been told about it and he couldn't help the tears that were glistening in his eyes.

"But I deserve it…" He started but Lily cut him off, she could feel her own heart break for him.

"No I think it's way overboard. Sure, you should have said something to them. Not that they would have been likely to listen, mind. But you didn't do anything to Sev, you didn't even encourage James and Sirius in any way. Your only real crime is picking jerks for friends. Besides, it isn't like anyone else, not even Dumbledore, tried to stop them. You didn't speak up when you could have, but you don't deserve to be punished at all besides maybe helping me with Sev, and then only just to get to know him better. Let alone being punished so harshly," she said looking Remus over. He was rather pale. Reaching over she placed a hand on Remus' head, he was a bit warm.

"You need to take a nap; come on you can use my bed." She said.

"But I have to fini.." he didn't even get to finish his sentence.

"Nonsense come on, Sev needs to go down for a nap as well, you can nap together I'll finish up out here."

"No I have to..." he tried to argue.

"Hush. I'm not taking no for an answer. You are making yourself sick. I plan on having a long talk with the headmaster about this. I thought if nothing else everyone would have learned that over-punishing is just as detrimental as not punishing at all." She tsked as she picked Severus up off the floor where he had fallen asleep playing with some blocks Lily had gotten for him the weekend before. During their trip to Hogsmeade, they had gotten him lots of toys but the blocks so far were his favorite. His blanket was pulled around him tightly. He refused to go anyplace without it, and despite all the nice toys and things he had been bought the blanket was his favorite thing ever. It was the first thing that was ever his. His Lily had made it for him and given it to him to keep forever.

She juggled him on her hip and grabbed Remus by the hand, dragging him to her room where she tucked first the toddler in. Then she turned on Remus, pushing him forcefully down onto the bed, yanking off his shoes and pulling the duvet over him.

"Take a nap and don't worry, I'll take care of this, you don't deserve to be treated like this. You have been punished enough, I'm sure the guilt you feel alone was punishment enough! Oh don't look at me like that, Remus, I can see it written on your face. The guilt is eating you up alive but there is no need. Your guilt does us no good, simply learn from this and do better. You were never malicious to him; the mere fact he fell asleep with you in the room shows he doesn't hold great fear of you. He was exhausted the other night but refused to let his eyes close when the headmaster was in the room, which means his memories of you aren't all that bad. I am sure it isn't too late to fix things and I bet when he re-ages you two could be good friends," she said kissing both boys on the head, causing Remus to blush hotly, before leaving them to nap.

Remus sighed and curled up rubbing unshed tears from his eyes, but this time not ones born solely of sadness but of relief as well. He had felt so alone and overwhelmed the last few days, with his friends gone and the massive amount of punishment that had been heaped on him. But Lily cared about him.

Why hadn't he seen it in her before, why hadn't he seen that she could have been a real true friend to him? He felt lucky that despite the fact that Lily seemed to hate his friends she was willing to give him a chance. Heck, she was even taking care of him, going as far as to fight for him against a punishment she didn't think he deserved. A punishment that was quickly burying him alive and tossing him into despair.

The tears slipped down his cheeks as he thought of how disappointed his parents were in him. They had to be pretty upset to forbid him going on holiday with him, they had never done that before, not even right after he had been bitten when things had been so hard and strained in his family.

Severus stretched and opened his eyes. He jumped, a bit startled and clinging tightly to his blanket when he saw he was not alone in bed and it wasn't his Lily there with him. But then he saw the tears rolling down the other boy's cheeks.

He didn't dislike this boy, though there was a niggling feeling in his mind that he resented him for some reason. However, he didn't want him to be sad.

Blinking big black eyes sleepily he reached out one small hand to touch one of Remus' wet cheeks, startling Remus as he had been so lost in himself he hadn't even realized the child had woken.

"No sad." Severus said quietly, holding his hand on the wet cheek, a few more tears making their way down and splashing onto the tiny appendage.

"I'm not sad, I'm ok…" Remus tried to assure the boy but Severus was having none of it.

"Lie is naughty!" Severus scolded Remus seriously and Remus had the decency to blush at being called out by a toddler.

"Okay so I am sad. I disappointed my mum and dad, t-they don't want me around anymore." Remus admitted and to his utter shock Severus moved his little body closer to him and wrapped his small arms around him as best he could and hugged him tightly. Remus didn't know Severus could be full of so much compassion, especially since from what he heard the boy had not ever received any from anyone else. Well save for Lily.

"Lily make bettew." Severus said matter-of-factly as if he was certain there was nothing that his Lily couldn't fix. Severus knew what it was like when your parents didn't want you, but Lily wanted him and she made it all better.

"Sev make bettew too." He added leaning up and placing a slobbery baby kiss right on Remus' nose.

"Bettew?" He asked. Yesterday he had bumped his head and Lily had kissed it and made it better for him. If it had worked for his booboo and making him feel better, then he was sure it would help Remus too.

Remus smiled at the child; if he didn't know this was Severus Snape he never would have been able to guess. But then he supposed he had never gotten to know Snape, had never given him a chance, and he was such a sweet little boy…

"Yes Sev, much better." He said smiling at him and wiping the last of his tears. For the first time in days he didn't really feel much like crying.

Severus let out a yawn and then smiled before snuggling up closely to Remus and drifting back to sleep. Remus stroked the soft black locks on the baby's head, closing his own eyes.

Neither of them knew Lily had been watching from the hallway. She had come as soon as the charm she had on Severus had gone off, alerting her that he had woken. She had not made her presence known once she had seen what was going on. She smiled at the scene, though her heart was breaking at Remus' admission. She would have to talk to Dumbledore for she thought for sure that Remus had emptied his last diaper pail.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply borrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Just so everyone knows this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!! Also I changed the time line of events. I know that in the books the incident of bullying with Severus and the Marauders I wrote about in chapter one was right after OWLS but I changed the time here to fit my story better. So this is taking place starting in mid November so let's say it happened after the beginning of the year tests let's say maybe practice OWLS that were given to see what needs to be brushed up on. Besides making this the beginning of the year so it fits better with my story I will also point out that this also means that in my story Remus has only been a prefect for about two months, please try to remember the negligent or not all them are still but children.

OoOoOo

Mrs. Lupin turned around, hit her pillow to fluff it a little and sighed. She was tired - she had not slept well since their visit to Hogwarts over a week ago, but still sleep evaded her it seemed.

Whenever she closed her eyes, all she saw was the pale and hurt face of her son. She wondered how Remus was doing. Ten days, and they had not had word from him yet. That alone was cause to worry as he was always one to write home often. That, coupled with how devastated he had seemed when they had left him last week, all added up to worry-filled, sleepless nights.

"Hmmm...What is it, love?" Mr. Lupin muttered, "Go to sleep."

"Yes..." his wife replied absentmindedly, turning on her side and closing her eyes, then turning back again. She let out a sigh as still she couldn't get her eyes to stay closed.

"John? Do you think we might have been too hard on Remus?" She asked, turning back to face her husband, giving up on the idea of sleep.

Seeing that sleep was not on his wife's agenda just yet, John turned over to face her.

"I have been thinking the same," he admitted, "but by Merlin, honey, what we saw in that Pensieve..." He shook his head. He had been so angry, more so at the headmaster and those other boys than at his own son, but still he had thought he had taught his boy better than that.

"I know," a tear made its way down the woman's cheek, "that poor, poor child, what he must have gone through. And all alone without even the headmaster, who was supposed to protect him, on his side...but I can't help but feel that we heaped all the punishment on Remus, that we wanted to give to all the boys - and that incompetent, senile headmaster!"

John smiled in the dark. His wife certainly was not happy with Dumbledore. Neither were the Potters and the Pettigrews - he had spoken to them briefly.

"Has Remus complained?" He asked curiously. His son usually took his punishments more gracefully than that.

"No," his wife said sadly, "that is the problem, he has not written at all. Usually he sends a note at least three times a week...do you think he believes he is not allowed to talk to us at all?"

She wiped a tear away again. Not to have their precious child home for the holidays was as much a punishment for them as it was for Remus.

"I am sure he will soon," Mr. Lupin comforted his wife. He pulled her in his arms and nestled his head against her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her hair, "I want him to learn to stand up to people, despite being a werewolf. He will have so many hardships in his life - if he does not develop a backbone now, it will hit him so much the harder."

Mrs. Lupin stroked her husband's hair. She knew he loved Remus more than life itself, but she continued to wonder if their reaction to the whole situation had not been a little overboard.

"I will miss him," she whispered.

"So will I," her husband admitted, "but he should take responsibility here and the Evans girl should not have to be the only one to give up her holiday to take care of the child. Especially when she had no part in the problem that caused this situation. Besides we deserve that as well, don't we, for not keeping a closer eye on those boys."

OoOoOo

Once Lily was sure both boys were asleep at least for the time being, she took her leave and headed to the headmasters office. She had a bone to pick with the man…. Another one!!

She gave the gargoyle guard the password - Dumbledore had given it to her in case of an emergency- and barged into his office without even knocking on the door. She was far too angry to bother with courtesy.

"Headmaster," Lily said frostily, "I thought you had actually learned something from this whole mess."

Dumbledore stared at her in confusion. "Miss Evans?"

"I am talking about Remus," the witch said impatiently, "who is currently asleep in my rooms, beyond exhausted and on the verge of a total break-down."

The Headmaster shook his head. "How is that possible? I merely assigned him the job of helping you out with little Sev. Surely that is not an exhausting activity? And losing his Prefect position, which Professor McGonagall insisted upon, should actually free up some time." Dumbledore asked.

Lily frowned. She had not known he had lost his job as prefect as well, though she supposed of all the punishments that had been heaped on the boy, that punishment actually made sense.

She understood why Remus was reluctant to stand up to his friends, why he was scared to speak up. Even if she didn't know he was a werewolf she did know it was very hard to stand up to ones friends. Yet she also knew that if he could not stand up to them and make them do what was right then he had no business taking the prefect job to begin with and no right to keep it.

"No," Lily's impatience grew, "but his parents added a whole list of punishments of their own. He has to tutor other students, three hours every afternoon. He has been given three books on the effects of bullying to read and three reports to write to go along with them. All that combined with having to come and clean up my chambers without any magic, not to mention his own school work, take him more time than there are hours in a day. He has also been forbidden to continue his membership in the chess club, and his pocket money for the year has been taken away to give to me for Sev, so he can't go to Hogsmeade. To top it off, his parents have forbidden him to come home for the Christmas holidays, so Remus obviously feels they don't want him anymore now that he has made a mistake. A grave one, I admit, but he never did hurt Sev." She ranted taking a deep breath as she had not bothered to break for one during her rant.

"So with all he has had to do he has not slept more than two or three hours a night for over a week. I am sure you noticed him skipping meals; he hasn't been to dinner in over a week and at the meals he does attend he doesn't eat much. He has a fever and he is dangerously close to depression. Do you want another student to try suicide?" She asked angrily.

Dumbledore flinched at that.

"I...I believe you are right, Miss Evans. I will Floo the Lupins now and invite them over. Please stay - you can explain to them what you just told me," he agreed, heading over to the hearth and grabbing some floo powder. It was late but he hoped it wasn't too late at night to get in touch with them. After all, if what Lily claimed was true, it was an emergency.

A few moments later Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stepped through the hearth and into the headmaster's office.

"What is the matter, Headmaster?" John Lupin asked, concerned, "I do hope nothing else has come up..."

"Remus is not in any trouble," Dumbledore assured them. Lily snorted at this.

"I'd say he's in trouble, just not of his own making." she muttered.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Lupin asked her.

"All those punishments you assigned him are slowly eating him alive," Lily said accusingly, "didn't Sev's experience teach you that punishing too much is just as dangerous? You can't stuff four years worth of punishments in a single week and expect Remus to be able to cope."

John Lupin sat down heavily with a frown. "It is our prerogative to punish our son as we see fit..." he started, but his wife interrupted.

"No, John, I want to hear what she has to say."

Lily balled her hands to fists. "Remus never actually hurt Sev. In fact, Severus falls asleep in the room when he is there, he is always on guard and won't sleep if someone is in the room he is scared of or doesn't trust. Which, given how his brain functions now, means that he holds no real ill will towards him" she gave the Headmaster a pointed look and the old man actually blushed.

"He is exhausted. He has his homework to do, students to tutor, he has to read your books and write a report on them, he cleans for me, he has barely slept in over a week, he hasn't been eating; he is sick. He had a fever when I saw him earlier; I had to manhandle him into bed because he insisted that no matter how ill he felt he needed to continue cleaning. He also believes you are so angry with him you do not want him anymore, thanks to your forbidding him to see you during the holidays. And then, even when he could barely stand with fatigue, feeling completely miserable and unwanted he told me he deserved it all!"

Mrs. Lupin was now crying openly, and her husband looked pale.

"You have been far too harsh on him," Lily accused, "you left him nothing but work and not a single thing for relaxation. Not even Hogsmeade weekends, since you took his pocket money as well. How can you expect him to be able to do all that?" The young, read headed witch asked.

In the long, silent seconds after Lily finished her speech, the gravity of what they had done to their son slowly sunk in. Mrs. Lupin held a hand over her mouth as if to stop herself from sobbing outright and John Lupin was almost ashen.

Then he stood up. "I want to see him."

"He is asleep in my rooms," Lily offered, "with Sev. If you'll come with me - I will take Severus out for a walk or something."

Mrs. Lupin smiled through her tears. "Thank you, Lily," she bent down to kiss the girl on the cheek, "you are a much better friend to him than those boys ever were."

Lily quickly excused herself from the headmasters office and lead Remus' parents down to her chambers and into her bedroom, where Remus was fast asleep, Severus snuggled closely to him.

Lily smiled to see that at some point Sev had wrapped his blankey not only around himself but around Remus too, in comfort. Severus really had to have liked Remus if he was sharing his beloved blanket. Sev never let anyone save Lily even touch it, he fussed even if Poppy tried.

Remus stirred as Lily reached down to take the slumbering baby from his arms.

In Remus' sleep-addled mind he could tell something was off. He was holding the small child but suddenly the warm, comfortable weight was lifted from his arms and he protested softly, not properly awake yet.

His grip on the child tightened, as if he was protecting the toddler even in his sleep.

"Shhh, Remus, it's alright," Lily's voice said, "I'm just taking Sev for a clean diaper and a walk. Come, open your eyes. No one is trying to steal him, I promise!" She soothed, one hand gently stroking the side of his face as she seated Severus on her hip, holding him under his bum with her other arm.

Remus finally managed to open his eyes and Lily gave him a soft smile before she and Severus left the room.

Two figured emerged in the door.

"M-Mum? Dad?" he whispered, flinching a little. He tried to get up, but his tired body would not obey him. A cold panic gripped him and he desperately tried to get out of bed, flinging the sheets off of himself. He had been caught laying down on the job! As if his parents weren't disappointed enough in him!

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's not...I didn't..." he babbled. Oh gods. He was in so much trouble. If he thought his punishment chores difficult now, there was no telling if he'd be able to sleep at all the next months with what they were going to add now that he'd been caught sleeping?

John Lupin cursed himself when he saw his son. How could he have been so stupid?

Never punish your child in anger, wasn't that the one thing he had always told himself ever since Remus was little?

Yet that was exactly what they had done. They should have left it off for a few days, calm themselves. His wife had already gone to Remus to take his hand and prevent him from jumping from the bed, and he sat down on the other side of the bed, facing his son. His large hand rested against the side of Remus' head and the amber eyes watched him with wonder and disbelief.

"Oh," Remus sighed in understanding, and with a deep regret, "I'm dreaming."

He had to be because his parents didn't want to see him anymore. Even if they were really here, they wouldn't be being so nice. Especially not after catching him napping when he should have been doing his chores.

Now John did curse out loud as he pulled his son to him. Resting his head on the brown hair he sniffled, trying to hide it from his wife.

"No, son, you are not dreaming." he assured.

The pale, thin face and the large dark circles under Remus' eyes threw him off balance. The body in his arms felt thin - his son had definitely lost weight since he last held him less than two weeks ago. Weight he could ill afford to lose.

Exhaustion and lack of proper nutrition made the change at the full moon ten times more painful and difficult. Thank Merlin it was still two weeks away! Bless that girl for interfering; their stupidity might have cost their son his life.

"Come," he lifted the boy in his arms, "we are taking you to the infirmary for a good long rest."

"Can't," Remus protested weakly, struggling mildly in his father's arms, "tutor...book reports...diaper pails..."

"Shhh," his mother soothed, "it's alright, honey. You can go to sleep." She assured, her heart breaking over the condition of her son.

It was apparent that besides giving up sleep, he had not been eating either, though that wasn't too surprising - she knew he had a bad habit of neglecting food when he was down. Lily had told them he had been missing meals but usually he would munch on chocolate. It was his comfort food and its high calorie content usually mitigated the damage of the missed meals. Remus needed loads of calories to compensate for the energy he lost during the transformations.

She didn't feel better for the knowledge, though, especially since it was their fault. She realized that most likely he had run out of his chocolate stash and lacked the money, now that they had taken away his allowance, to replace it.

Mr. Lupin carried Remus the entire way, fortunately the chambers where just down the hall from the infirmary.

After tucking Remus in the infirmary bed, under the watchful and reproachful eye of Poppy Pomfrey, the Lupins sat down to watch their son.

"He won't wake for quite some time," Poppy pointed out.

"I know," Mrs. Lupin said softly, "but I want to be here when he does wake up."

OoOoOo

The white of the infirmary confused Remus. The last he remembered was Lily's rooms. He sighed - he'd had the most wonderful dream. His parents had come back...

He turned his head and stared, wide-eyed, at the figure of his mother sitting besides his bed, reading a book and sipping from a cup of tea.

When she noticed the movement, Mrs. Lupin immediately set down the tea and book and bent over her son.

"Hello, sweetheart," she said gently, brushing damp hair from his forehead, "how are you feeling?"

"T-thirsty," Remus rasped, and his mother helped him sip some water. "Am I ill?" he wondered out loud. Then he nearly jumped up. "Oh no! I'm sorry, the tutoring, books...sorry, sorry Mum!" he exclaimed, working himself up into a complete panic. He couldn't afford to be lying down even if he was ill.

A strong hand pushed him back on the bed and he gazed, uncomprehending, in the eyes of his father. "Easy now, son. Lay back down. Good, there's a good boy."

Suddenly tears ran down his face as he shook his head sadly. "Not a good boy," sobs tore from his throat, "disappointed you. Not a good son..." he cried sounding lost and confused and much younger than his fifteen years.

His mother pulled his head to her shoulder. "Oh, Remus..."

"You are ashamed of me," Remus, in his half-confused sleepy state, was unable to stop all the hurt from coming to the surface and pouring out his mouth, "You don't want me anymore. I couldn't stand up to them, I really couldn't! Not as strong as you are, Dad. I'm sorry," he sobbed, the shame he felt in himself radiating off him in a palpable way.

Both their arms surrounded him now, and for a moment he just rested there, wanting to believe it was real. Then he tried to pull back; there was too much for him to do for him to be lying down. He didn't know what time it was, but Merlin only knew how much time he had lost, how long he had been asleep and how much he would have to catch up on. He wouldn't be able to sleep again for a while if he was to catch up and get it all done. "Have to..."

"You don't have to do anything right now but rest," the glass was pressed to his lips again, and his head cleared as he drank down the cool liquid.

"Mum?" he asked again.

"What are you doing here?"

His parents settled next to him. "Looking after you. Lily called us," his mother explained, "Oh honey, I am sorry. We promised to never punish you in anger and we did just that."

"We are going to discuss your punishments when you are well," his father added, "but I can tell you for sure that your allowance is yours again. And the tutoring other students will be limited to just one."

He leaned over and took his sons chin in his hand. "And we WILL see you in the holidays," he said softly, "I...I am so sorry, Remy. I should never have made you feel unwanted. We love you so much. Yes, we were angry and disappointed when we heard what had been going on here, but you are still our boy. Our good, wonderful Remus. You made a mistake. So did we."

Remus couldn't help the fresh wave of tears that rolled down his cheeks; he just wanted everything to be ok again.

Mrs. Lupin moved up on the bed and pulled Remus to her, cradling him in her arms. She leaned back so that Remus was laying down again, using her as a pillow. She held him tight, one hand stroking his head.

"Come now, that's enough of that. It will be ok but you need to relax and rest, I want you to close your eyes for me… That's it, good boy… Your father and I will stay until you fall asleep and once you are feeling better again we can work out a more suitable punishment. You need not worry. I don't think it will be anything more from us than tutoring one fellow student as needed and finishing those books I sent you. I think one essay on what you learned from those books and your own experience will be fine instead of three book reports. Yes, asking you to read three entire books and write three reports was too much. I think we can wait for you to finish them over the holiday when you don't have so much school work, hmm maybe just finish one book before the holiday and you can finish the other two during the break, they aren't too long, but we will talk about it. Come up with something fair and not overwhelming, we love you so very much and we are sorry we put so much on you." She assured him and she could feel Remus relax against her. It was rather apparent that a weight had been lifted from him and he quickly drifted off into a deep sleep under his mother's ministrations, content to be helped by her, snuggled close, it was all he had wanted the last ten days...

Remus was woken the next morning, feeling much better, by a tiny set of lips administering a slobbery baby kiss to his cheek and opened his eyes to see Severus leaning over him from his spot in Lily's arms.

"MMM morning." Remus got out groggily, managing a smile for the dark haired boy who was peering at him through bright black eyes.

"Emus bettew?" Severus asked as Lily settled down in the chair next to the bed snuggling him in her lap.

"Yes, Sev, I'm feeling much better, thank you for asking." Remus answered, sitting up leaning back against the pillows and headboard. He smiled as the small boy wriggled from Lily's lap, dragging his blanket along onto the bed to snuggle down into Remus' lap.

Lily beamed, thrilled to see Severus let someone else in, as up till now the child had not allowed anyone besides herself and Poppy into that thick protective bubble he created around himself.

"That is good Remus, I am glad you are feeling better." Lily said as Poppy made her way over, having noticed her patient was awake and that her favorite little toddler had made an appearance.

"Feeling better Mr. Lupin?" She asked waving her wand over him to check his temperature and such.

"Yes Madam, much." He said

"Good good, your fever is gone but I want to keep an eye on you till lunch. If your fever is still down and I am satisfied with the amount you have eaten I will release you then." She told him and he nodded.

"And how are you this morning?" She asked now addressing Severus.

"Nana Poppy!" Severus exclaimed happily, he loved his Nana Poppy, sure she made him take icky potions but she always gave him candy after to make it better.

"Why don't you come with Nana Poppy so she can make sure you are getting healthy and strong hmm?" she asked wanting to see how his weight-gain and vitamin replacement were going.

Severus nodded and held his arms up to Poppy to be picked up. Poppy quickly obliged picking the child up and carrying him to the other side of the room.

Lily smiled at them and then turned back to Remus placing a small money purse onto Remus' bedside table.

"Your pocket money from the last two weeks, I was keeping it safe for you till your parents came around. They came to me last night to tell me of your revised punishment and to thank me for bringing this to their attention, so I thought you should have this back," she explained when she saw him give the leather bag a questioning look.

"You don't have to…" Remus started only to be cut off.

"Nonsense Remus, I never wanted your money to begin with and I refused to spend it, I'm just glad to be able to give it back, like I told you professor Dumbledore took on the financial responsibility for Sev." Lily explained.

"I… um… thanks Lily. I mean, for looking out for me." Remus stammered out. Sirius and James never would have done what Lily had done for him, but mostly because they were both too clueless to have even realized anything was wrong with him.

"But um, are you sure, I mean that trip to Hogsmead last weekend could not have been cheap…"

Lily grinned widely at this.

"Oh, it wasn't… I made sure of that…" There was a mischievous gleam in Lily's eyes as she went on to tell Remus of their trip, and how she had picked out the best and most expensive things for Sev in retaliation to Dumbledore for how he treated the boy.

OoOoOo

_Severus clung tightly to Lily as the carriage took them to Hogsmead. He was nervous and scared and his tummy hurt because that scary old man was sitting right next to his Lily. He didn't like that man, not at all._

_He pulled his blanket tightly around himself and shivered. He was dressed warmly in transfigured sweater, slacks and cloak but it was early winter and he was still cold._

_Lily had told him they were going out and Severus had thought that Lily was going to put him in his cot and leave him while she went to do what she needed to. That was what his mummy and daddy did. But now he felt bad for ever thinking his Lily would do that. She was so very nice to him, though he had still been shocked that she was taking him with her but very glad not to be left in his cot. He didn't like the cot it; was scary to be trapped in there alone._

_But now, now that he had to spend time with the scary man he was thinking that maybe the cot wouldn't have been so bad._

_Albus sat in the carriage, as far away from the two others as possible. The fear and mistrust on the small boy's face did not escape his notice, and he silently berated himself. How could he have let things deteriorate to the point where he was practically a child's greatest fear? _

_He was responsible for Severus's wellbeing, had been ever since he entered Hogwarts, and what had he done with that responsibility? _

_He had driven the child to such despair that he saw no other option than to take his own life. Thank Merlin he did not succeed! If he wanted a chance to mend bridges with the little boy that Severus had become, he would need to take it slowly._

_Lily noticed the tension in Sev. She had considered leaving him in Poppy's care while they went out to shop, but the Headmaster did appear sincere in his desire to make amends and she wanted Severus to be there to pick things out, to see them buy him things so he would know he was worthy of having things and being taken care of. _

_She was still mad as hell with Dumbledore, but she had a kind and gentle heart and would not prevent his last chance to build a relationship with Sev._

_Although, he did deserve something; this day would not come cheap for him, she would make sure of that!_

_As they left the carriage, Sev still on Lily's hip, she puffed. 'First thing we need to get him is a pram," she said, hoisting the child up a little so she could hold him better, "he may be underweight but he's still heavy to carry around for any length of time."_

_Dumbledore nodded and they went to a store that specialized in magical baby supplies. _

_Lily studied several models before settling on the latest one - it had an automated hover charm, a self-cleaning function, an automatic wind and rain shield, and an automatic warming charm for winter. It came at 299 galleons and she happily pointed at it. To his credit, Dumbledore did not even bat an eyelash, and ordered the store cleric to add it to the list of purchases they would make._

_Severus toddled along with them, holding tight to Lily's pinky, his blankey trailing on the ground a bit. The longer they walked on - the adults not paying too much attention to him as they discussed purchases - the more he became curious. He studied the scary old man. Why was he scary? He didn't look very scary. Tall, but everyone was tall. Even his Lily. He could not quite understand his feelings, but he knew they were real! Even though the scary man did not act scary now, he was not going to take any chances._

_Meanwhile, the store was full of funny items and he reached out to touch some of them. He pointed excitedly at a large unicorn rocking horse. "Ho'sey!" he said happily, but then flinched back. He should be staying quiet and be good. Besides there was no way he would be able to get such a nice toy. Sure his Lily had given him his blankey, but that just meant he had even less right to want anything else from her; she had already given him more than anyone else._

_He flushed a bit and hung his head, biting his bottom lip. He felt guilty for even seeming like he would want anything from them, he had no right! He waited, frightened, for them to start yelling at him for having dared._

_"Oh Sev," Lily started. It was, including safety charms, over 300 galleons. She looked down at the small boy who looked as if he felt terrible for having even thought about wanting such a thing and it broke her heart to think about saying no, but 300 galleons…. however Dumbledore had already added it to the list. She blushed a little, but then remembered how much this old man owed Severus. A slightly expensive toy seemed so minor in comparison._

_Meanwhile Severus seemed to have withdrawn into himself again, his face hidden in his blanket, his shoulder shaking a bit as if he was scared he would be hit for simply coveting something any small child would have wanted._

_He drew back from them a bit, lengthening the distance between him and the adults. _

_Why had he been so stupid? _

_Everything had been going so well, no one had hit him in the few days he had been with his Lily, no one had yelled. Hhe just knew he was pushing his luck by allowing them to be so nice and now he had gone and ruined it, they wouldn't want him now!_

_Lily kneeled before him. "It's alright, honey," she pulled the child to her, pushing the blanket down from his face so she could look at him._

_"You can look at all the toys. I can't promise we will buy them all, but you can always look and tell me what you want. And you can have the horsey, Headmaster Dumbledore said you can."_

_Severus looked up. He could have toys? Why would they give him toys? Large tears started to form. _

_"Sev bad," he sobbed, "No toys." Lily closed her eyes briefly and lifted the child in her arms. _

_"Shhh," she soothed, lifting him up and swaying from side to side to calm him, "you are a good boy. You deserve to have toys. You will get toys." She told him firmly yet gently._

_Dumbledore turned away, unable to look at them any longer. Why would parents deny a child toys and comfort? _

_Then he sighed. Had he not done the same? Denied Severus comfort, and a safe environment? _

_He stroked the head of the unicorn - even such a wonderful toy as this would not begin to repay the debt he owed Severus. _

_He motioned the clerk closer. "I want a complete children's bedroom set, with the best model toddler bed. No cot!"_

_Severus peered over Lily's shoulder at that. No cot? Really? They were going to get him his own bed?_

_"Sev bed?" he asked disbelievingly, his voice still shaky. _

_The old man smiled at him, kind but sort of sad. _

_"You can have your very own bed," he promised, "no cot. And your blanket can go on your bed."_

_Severus's eyes widened in delight before he shyly hid his head against Lily's shoulder, slipping his thumb into his mouth. _

_Seeing this Lily reached with her free hand into the diaper bag she had over her should and pulled his pacifier out of the front pocket. Attaching the leash to his shirt, she eased the little thumb from his mouth, replacing it with the pacifier. _

_The emotional benefits of allowing the boy to suck on it much outweighing the possible dental problems it could cause. Besides if his teeth were slightly more crooked when he was re-aged she was sure Dumbledore would be more than happy to arrange for an orthodontic wizard to take care of it. He had needed to see one before anyway, only now Lily would make sure he actually did._

_The simple action of having the pacifier in his mouth relaxed the small body immensely and for that Lily was grateful. She had underestimated how emotional this trip would be for the little boy. His parents had literally terrified him so badly with their abuse and neglect that he was scared to even want anything._

_The store clerk that had been helping Dumbledore watched the exchange between toddler and teen and turned back to the headmaster._

_"Sir, I notice your little boy is not using a Magical Health Association approved pacifier. We now have a new batch of pacifiers with charms to prevent the teeth from moving out of position. Shall I show you our selection?" he asked._

_Dumbledore nodded enthusiastically. While Lily was busy with the little boy, he selected a pacifier with that charm, which also had a natural feel - as if the boy was really nursing, the clerk explained in far too much detail for the old wizard. _

_It too was a green and sliver design with little snakes on it. He bought a package of 5 as the clerk explained it was always better to have more than one._

_Dumbledore then took one from the package and handed it to Lily ,who smiled and gently switched the pacifiers. _

_Severus laid his head on Lily's shoulder facing her and took the pacifier out for a moment to hold it up for her to see ._

"_Nake," he informed her, pointing to the little snake decorating the pacifier._

"_Nake, like banky Lily make Sev." He pointed out before popping the pacifier back in his mouth._

_Lily smiled and stroked his head._

"_Yes Sev, that's a snake just like on your blanket I made for you." She agreed carrying Severus through the store following Dumbledore who was dictating the list of things that he needed to get from the baby supply place. _

_Poppy had made him a rather long list of necessities before they left, including of course lots of diapers. Lily had picked out the most expensive ones made, ones that were charmed to fit the child perfectly, were leak proof and had little dragons on them that romped around on the front, blew fire and roared when the baby needed to be changed. A diaper pail, a few more bottles and some sippy cups, not to mention his own set of children's plates and utensils. There were many different plates to chose from, but keeping with the theme Dumbledore picked one with a snake that wiggled around and then hissed out "good job" when the child ate all the food from the plate. It was more expensive with that particular feature, but Dumbledore thought Sev could use all the praise he could get as well as the extra encouragement to eat. Up till now the child had been less than inclined to, scared he would be yelled at or hit for daring. _

_Dumbledore wasn't about to spare any expense. But that was only the tip of the ice-berg, the list was really rather long!_

_Horace had not yet finished analyzing the potion Severus had used, though he had found out that there had been human tears added to the poison (this broke their hearts as it seemed the boy had been crying into his potion as he brewed). The potion had been left to simmer a bit longer than advised as well. Those two things together had turned the potion into something that de-aged instead of killed. Horace suspected that it wasn't a general de aging potion but that the child's own tears born of helpless desperation had interacted with his magic. The potion had taken on a life of its own and done as it pleased, people underestimated how magical potions really were!_

_He had also determined that Severus would probably be a child for quite some time. It was the Potions Professors belief that he could make a set of potions that would re-age him slowly over a period of time until he was his actual age. However, he still wasn't sure how many stages it would take or how long but he had at least given them hope. _

_Given the fact that it looked like Severus was going to be a child for an extended amount of time, the headmaster wanted him to have everything he had not had the first time around. _

_Albus had tried to get the boy to choose a design for himself but that seemed to scare him. It was apparent that he was afraid to make any decisions lest he upset anyone. So Albus had chosen. Since the child seemed to hold a great fondness of Snakes, he went that rout when picking out patterns._

_Severus seemed thrilled with that line of thinking and Albus could hear him whispering excitedly to himself around his pacifier about 'Nakes'._

_Finishing in the baby shop, having sent package upon package back to Hogwarts for the house elves to set up and put away, the three of them headed to the clothing shop._

_Lily had picked out the nicest assortment of jumpers, pants, overalls, pajamas and all other clothing that was needed, going for the more expensive brands that had a built in sizing charm so that they would grow with the child up to a certain size. While this was certainly more expensive now (all part of Lily's revenge) it would actually save Dumbledore money in the long run as he wouldn't have to replace the clothing quite so soon._

_Severus found nothing too exiting about the clothing shop and allowed Lily, though begrudgingly, to place him into the pram, which to Severus' surprise was nice and warm and comfortable. He snuggled down inside it under his blankey, while Lily picked out his clothing._

_He had never had much in the way of cloths and none of them new or even in decent shape, so the sheer amount of nice clean new clothing Lily had picked out for him made his eyes widen and his stomach feel odd and worried. _

_He wouldn't be able to do anything for Lily to repay her for everything, and what if she decided he was too much trouble since he needed so much? What if she found out, like mummy and daddy that he wasn't worth it. Then she would become mean to him too and hit him and starve him and leave him in the cot forever and ever…_

_She would soon realized that Severus was bad and not worth all this and then she would be extra mad that she had spent all this time and money on him!_

_He pulled the blanket over his head and sunk down into the pram._

_Lily browsed the clothes store for quite some time. She loved picking out clothes. She also got some new robes for herself to replace the set that had become Severus's blanket. The little boy was quiet, and it wasn't until a suspicious smell emerged from the pram that she realized he might need a change._

_Dumbledore noticed her look at about the same time he noticed the smell. Managing by an act of the will not to wrinkle his nose, he simply motioned for Lily to hand the clothes over to the sales clerk. The purchase was made with some haste._

_"Sir? Could you get a clean nappy, wipes and a change of clothes from the bags?" Lily whispered, "I have a feeling this is going to be bad.'_

_She chuckled inwardly at the alarmed look the old man gave her. Really, you would think in over a century he had changed a baby at least ONCE!_

_Lily moved to kneel before the pram and noticed the frightened eyes. Severus had completely withdrawn, both with the memories washing over him and the sheer fear that Lily would be angry with him for soiling his nappy_

_"Sev, honey, do you need a clean nappy?" she asked gently. "Remember what I told you - I will get you a clean nappy whenever you need one."_

_The boy did not respond, and she quickly pushed the pram towards the Three Broomsticks. She knew the owner, Regina, the mother of a Seventh year Hufflepuff Rosmerta. _

_The kind lady immediately realized the problem and directed Lily, pram, Dumbledore and packages to a back room. _

_"Take your time, deary," she said kindly, "if you need anything, let me know."_

_Lily lifted Severus from his pram and laid him on the table. It was quite clear that all the juice she had allowed the boy to drink had encouraged things - he was a right mess._

_"Oy," Regina said in sympathy, "why don't I fetch you a small bath?"_

_"Oh, don't go to all the trouble..." Lily began, but she was cut off again. _

_"No trouble at all, dear. I'll leave you to it here. It's nice and warm and the little one really does need a bath."_

"_Thank you, Ma'am," Lily said gratefully as she began to strip Severus of his dirty clothes, she banished them away. They were only transfigured temporarily from a sheet anyway and no great loss especially now that they had such nice new cloths for him. _

_Dumbledore began to look a bit pale around his nose as Lily discarded the clothing. She laid Severus down on the table and undid the nappy. _

_The Headmaster ceased looking pale. He turned positively green and Lily could not help but laugh herself silly inside. She held the diaper out gingerly towards the wizard. "Could you get rid of this please, sir?" she asked. Sure she could do it just as easily but where was the fun in that?_

_Severus looked up at her, his eyes large and confused. Lily was cleaning him up and she had not yelled at him yet. _

_She used wipes to clean the worst of the mess off him, and when the strange lady - she was strange but she did not seem bad. He could not decide whether he liked or disliked her - came back with a small wooden tub filled with water, he allowed Lily to carefully place him inside._

_Lily looked around just in time to see the headmaster wave his wand feebly over the dirty nappy, a small voice saying 'evanesco' before he sank down into a chair. _

_"There must be a better way," he said weakly, looking at the toddler who seemed relieved to be in the warm water and even splashed a bit._

_Lily grinned mischievously. "The nappies I bought are spelled not to leak," she said comfortingly, "this one we just transfigured for lack of anything better."_

_She quickly washed and dried Severus, got one of the new nappies on him and then dressed him in his new clothes, remembering to attach the pacifier with its leash to his shirt. She even put on his new baby Nikes._

_"Sev bad?" the child asked shyly as she lifted him off the table._

_"Oh, no, honey," Lily kissed the dark hair, "you are such a good little boy. It is not your fault you got dirty. Little boys are supposed to get dirty sometimes. You have been very, very good today."_

_Dumbledore shook his head sadly. Despite his stomach roiling from his first experience with a Very Dirty Nappy, he did realize it was wrong for a toddler to be so afraid of punishment just for having a dirty nappy. _

_Regina entered the room again and gave the youngster a wide smile. _

_"Why, what a handsome boy you are!" she said, "come on in, I'll get Lily and the Headmaster something to drink and you can have a treat. How does that sound?" Severus clung to Lily, but gave the woman one of his half-smiles. He might not know her, but he was leaning towards 'nice'_

_While they were already at the Three Broomsticks they decided it would be a good time to get some lunch. They managed to get Sev to eat, though he didn't particularly like the restaurant atmosphere. He had never eaten in one before and it made him nervous. He had yet to even eat in the Great Hall. Lily was waiting until he was a little more used to the castle for that._

_Finishing lunch they got Regina to fill Sev's bottle with pumpkin juice before placing him back into the pram and heading to the toy store._

_Severus was getting more used to the pram now, especially since Lily had moved the setting of the push bar so it was in front instead of in back of him. That way they were facing each other while Lily pushed him along. It made him feel much more comfortable to be able to see her at all times._

_Arriving at the toy store Lily pulled Severus out of the pram and put him on the floor so he could look around. _

_She put the magical leash charm on him that Dumbledore had taught her so he could not wander far and no one could snatch and run off with him. She then activated the automated shrink charm on the pram and put it in her pocket._

_Lily and Dumbledore had a great time picking out toys for the small boy. Severus followed them, and whenever he stopped to look at something, the two would get it for him._

_It was all too much for the little boy. Daddy would be so angry! _

_Severus was not allowed toys, he was not allowed clothes, he was not allowed a clean nappy! He was in sooo much trouble. _

_Finally he just sat on the floor, clasping his little hands over his eyes in the hopes that if he did not look at the toys, they would not buy him anything else._

_Lily, realizing the child was past his limit and completely overwhelmed, simply sat with him on the floor, pulled him in her arms and rocked him, whispering to him what a good boy he was. Dumbledore stood by, watching helplessly as he finally realized fully, for the first time, how much his behavior had reinforced Severus's feelings of worthlessness_

_Lily was doing what he should have done for that tiny eleven-year-old four years ago. Instead, he had behaved much the same as his father. Oh, he had not beaten the child himself, but he certainly made it clear to the boy that anyone else could do so without repercussions. Showed him with actions or his inaction that it was ok for everyone to beat on him._

_And now a fifteen-year-old witch was left to pick up the pieces of his mistakes, his indifference. Something that toys or clothes could never make up for. _

_Guilt came crushing down on him, hard and unmerciful, and for the first time in decades Albus Dumbledore found himself crying._

_He cried for the injured child in front of him, for the four boys he had allowed to torment another child so much, who he had allowed to grow into bullies, he cried for himself, blinded and cruel, and most of all he cried for all the hurt that had been heaped upon Severus._

_From the safe circle of Lily's arms, Severus saw the scary old man cry, like Remus had done. But unlike Remus, he could not go and comfort this man - the fear and hurt ran far too deep. Yet, in his mixed fifteen year old/two year old mind, the picture remained._

_They did not remain in Hogsmead for very long. Severus was overtired and overwhelmed and in desperate need of a nap_

_So they quickly paid for all the toys - it wasn't all that they had wanted to buy him but Christmas was coming soon and was plenty reason to spoil the baby a little- and made their way back to the carriage and to the castle. Lily did not even attempt to put the child down on his own for a nap. Besides, the elves had yet to set up the bedroom with the new furniture they bought. She simply curled up on her bed with Severus in her arms, knowing that he needed a warm body to snuggle against if she wanted to prevent nightmares from all the emotions he had gone through today._

_After lots of snuggles and assurances that he was a very good boy and deserved everything they had bought him and more, Severus had finally given in to his exhaustion and fallen asleep for the much needed nap._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply borrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Just so everyone knows this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!!

OoOoOo

Mr Potter came through the Floo, still dragging the two boys along with him.

"James, to your room," he ordered gruffly, "I'll be up once I have Sirius settled."

Normally, the two boys shared James's large bedroom, and they were acutely aware that their separation had not been an idle thread. Sirius gave Mr Potter a frightened look as he was dragged along to another wing of the house.

Mr Potter led him to one of the guest bedrooms there and pushed him down on the bed.

"This will be your room," he said, "and no contact with James. I am very, very disappointed in you, Sirius. How could you? Didn't you want to be different from your family?"

Sirius was shivering. "Y-Yes…Mr Potter," he managed, eying the man's wand fearfully cringing back a bit, "P…Please…don't…"

"Don't what?" Harold Potter's eyes narrowed.

"C-curse me," Sirius stammered, "Beat me."

"Well I was tempted to give you a good thrashing but the impulse passed," the older man said, sitting down on the chair by the desk, "and I certainly would never curse you. Why do you think I would?"

"M…My parents d-do," Sirius muttered, his head bowed.

"Sirius," Mr Potter leaned over to lift his chin, "You are in a world of trouble. I am very, very angry with you and James and you will have a very unpleasant time of it. I promise you that. But I also promise you that I will never beat you or curse you. My goal is to make sure you and James grow up to be productive, well-adjusted, charitable men. The kind of men people look up to. Not petty thugs who believe they will get away with anything. Beating and cursing you would only teach you that behaviour."

As he spoke, enlightenment slowly dawned on him. He had gotten to know Sirius Black as a troubled youth – boisterous, sometimes bordering on arrogant, but basically a good boy.

That the young man was capable of remorselessly hurting a classmate that much came as a shock and he failed to understand it.

Until now.

"Did your parents curse and beat other people than you?" he asked.

Sirius became even more uncomfortable and squirmed on the bed.

"Reggie, of course," Sirius still tried to look away, "when one of us was punished, the other always had to watch. And the house elves. We had to curse them and beat them when they disobeyed. I-If I refused I w-would get it worse a-after my parents were done..." He admitted diverting his eyes wishing to look any place but at Mr. Potter.

Suddenly the extent of the abuse Sirius had suffered at home became clearer to Mr Potter. Sirius had been conditioned to abuse others. To enjoy pain and suffering, or go insane with grief. He had learned to close himself off from the ones he was torturing since showing mercy resulted in untold amounts of pain.

He sighed. It would take a lot of professional help and patience to re-teach Sirius. Deep inside he truly was the boy Mr Potter had come to know, but his morals had been completely warped by that insane family of his. He wondered if Sirius could ever recover enough to safely allow him back into society.

Well. He was young, and only time would tell. He had no intention of abandoning the boy, even if it became apparent Sirius would never be able to live without some sort of guidance and supervision. The Black's had given him guardianship over Sirius voluntarily – he had, equally voluntary, accepted. That meant Sirius was as good as a son to him, and he would no more abandon him than he would abandon James.

Meanwhile, the pensieve images of the Slytherin boy, horribly mistreated, played through his mind over and over again. Yes, Dumbledore deserved a large part of the blame – it should never have come to this. Not only for the Snape boy's sake, but for Sirius' also. How much easier it would have been if they had caught this when he was eleven!

He pulled Sirius into a hug. "I am not giving up on you," he said, full of conviction, "I will not throw you away."

Releasing the boy, he shook his head.

"You and James will have no contact with each other. You will be in your room whenever you are not doing chores and assignments that require you to be somewhere else. You are going to get therapy and I expect you to cooperate as much as you can."

"Neither of you will be allowed your wands. Since you are suspended, you will spend each morning studying to keep up. At the end of every week I will go over your work. If I find you have been slacking off, you will redo all the work in your free time – and you won't have a lot of that to begin with!"

"Each afternoon, when you are not seeing your therapist, you will work for the house elves. They will make sure you and James do not come into contact either, so do not try to manipulate them. Of course, if you even attempt to hurt one of them, I would be extremely displeased. Our elves are not the abused submissive creatures you are used to – they will defend themselves if necessary."

"In the evenings you will do the assignments your therapist sets you. Should you not have any from him, you may have the evening off, but you will remain in your room. Sunday afternoons are the only time you will see James – you and he are allowed to have tea with us then. This will be your schedule for the next weeks. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, Mr Potter," Sirius seemed close to tears again, "will…will I see you or Mrs Potter, besides Sundays?" He asked almost scared of the answer, he didn't want to go through all this alone, but even his own parents didn't want him.

It was obvious Sirius expected the answer to be negative.

"You will see us," Mr Potter reassured him, "In fact," he glanced at the door, "My wife will stay with you for a bit now while I go talk to James. Your new regime starts tomorrow."

Angry and upset as they were, they did not feel good about leaving the boys, especially Sirius, completely alone right now.

Mr Potter moved to make room for his wife, and went to see his son while his wife moved to sit with the distraught Sirius.

As unpleasant as the talk with Sirius had been, he suspected it had nothing on the chat he was about to have with his son.

Sirius had issues. Sirius was raised by hopelessly incompetent, abusive, destructive parents. But he certainly did not consider himself incompetent, abusive and destructive, yet his son had acted the same as Sirius.

Granted, according to Headmaster Dumbledore, who had scanned the boys with Legilimency – he was not at all pleased about that, too, incidentally – James's mind was not as twisted as to gain pleasure from other people's pain. That baffled the older man even more. If his son did not gain pleasure for other people's pain, and he had not been taught by them to be a bully, then what did the boy gain from causing the Snape child such pain?

When he entered the room, he stared at his son for long moments. Unlike Sirius, James wasn't near tears – he was practically sulking.

"I…just don't get it," Harold balled his hands in his pockets to restrain himself from hitting his son. He would never raise a hand to his child, no matter how much he was provoked.

"He's just a Slytherin, Dad," James said, his face showing annoyance and betrayal, to his father's surprise.

"Oh?" Harold responded neutrally, "so you did the same to the other Slytherins? That Parkinson boy? The Tolheim twins?"

James shook his head in confusion. "Of course not. They do business with you. They are respected families."

"But not the Snape boy?" Harold tried by a sheer act of the will to keep from shouting.

"I don't see the big deal," James huffed, "Dumbledore is a jerk! He never cared about Snivellus, he punished him loads of times! He never said anything to us and he constantly makes hints about Slytherin being evil. And now Snivvy tries to off himself and he shifts all the blame unto us! We just teased him a bit, that's all. I know Sirius went a bit far beating the little snitch, but I did pull him off once I saw Snape lost consciousness. It's not like we've beaten him to death or anything. Slytherins are evil, and he's just a Slytherin. No one important."

Harold closed his eyes, cursed Dumbledore in his mind and counted slowly to ten. Then repeated it. In German. And French. And Spanish just for good measure.

"James Michael Potter!" he finally said forcefully, "you do NOT bully and attack people because of the House they are in. Your mother and I have taught you better than that. You singled out an unprotected, lonely boy and tormented him. Yes," he held up his hand to stall any protests, "I agree that you have a right to feel betrayed by your Headmaster. He failed you and your friends by not making it clear to you that such behaviour is unacceptable. It IS unfair if he were to get off easily while shifting the blame onto you. He is an adult and should have known better. I shall have more words with him soon. However, that does not clear you of your responsibility, nor from the consequences of your actions."

He sighed deeply. "You will follow the same schedule as Sirius, and you will not see each other save Sunday afternoons, which will always be supervised by your mother and myself. Other than that, I am assigning you other chores. I will bring you a book on the history of Slytherin. The House produced many worthy and outstanding members of Wizarding Society. You will read it and write a report on it. I will not have you shun people based on what House they were placed in when they were eleven. I can't believe you, James. You did not shun your friend Remus because he is a werewolf."

"Remus can't help that," James grumbled, "he did not ask to be a werewolf. He was just a child."

"So was Severus," Harold said sternly, "he did not ask for his parents to abuse him. He did not ask to be Sorted into Slytherin when he was only eleven. He did not ask for you and your friends to torment him. Mrs Lupin told us about some books she plans to have Remus read, about the effects of bullying on children. I have ordered copies, and you will read them."

"What about Remus?" James asked, "am I not allowed to see him either?"

"Not for now, while your suspension lasts. If you return to Hogwarts after the holidays, and that depends entirely on your conduct these next weeks, you will of course see him in your dorm and classes.

Harold could not fail to notice that neither boy had asked about the fate of young Peter Pettigrew. After all that had happened, he considered it unwise to dismiss any detail as unimportant, and filed it away in his mind for later discussion with his wife and the therapist.

OoOoOo

The next week had been downright difficult by all accounts. While Sirius was off balance enough to do his work, meet with his therapist and obey without complaint, James sulked, complained, screamed and tried to skive off. Twice Mr Potter had him redo all his homework as even after the first time it was redone it was still unexeptable, and once he had to clean the entire Hall floor with a toothbrush for emptying a bucket of dirty water over one of the house-elves' head. He continued to argue that Dumbledore had supported their treatment of the Snape child, and thus it could not be held against them. James was also refusing to read the book on Slytherin House.

In desperation, and anger, Harold Potter eventually firecalled the Headmaster.

"Mr Potter," Albus Dumbledore said in surprise, "what can I do for you?"

"My wife insists that I ought to try and talk to you," Harold said coldly – quite an accomplishment considering his face was surrounded by flames – "though I am certain it is a waste of time."

The old man flinched a little at the hostility, but tried again. "How are the boys?"

"As well as can be expected, which is not well at all," Mr Potter replied, "Actually, it is for the sake of the boys that I am contacting you. Merlin knows we'd rather avoid you at the moment, but it can't be helped. Sirius is doing reasonably well, but his therapist believes he is still in shock and will display more difficult behaviour later on. James is already a pain in the…well. Our main problem right now is that James, and to a lesser extend Sirius, feel completely betrayed by you. Since you condoned their behaviour and even encouraged it, they think it cannot have been so very wrong as to warrant such punishments. James feels especially betrayed since it was easy enough to punish him and his friends for what they did while you got away and suddenly started passing judgment on them for something you had enabled them to do for years."

The Headmaster paled. "Oh dear."

"What we need from you is to come here, and tell the boys exactly how you were wrong and why. As completely as possible. No excuses, no trying to hide anything. I am unconvinced that you are able to do that, but my wife insists we still ask you."

Before Dumbledore had a chance to reply, Harold ended the Floo call.

OoOoOo

Meanwhile, the Headmaster of Peters new school in Germany found himself baffled by his new student. The school was home to many troubled youngsters – many of them children who had been expelled from several other Magical schools for bullying. He was used to a certain distrust from them, towards all authority.

But young Pettigrew's distrust seemed to stem from another source. From what he heard from Peters parents, the Headmaster of his old school had enabled and even encouraged Peter and his friends to bully and torment another student, only stepping in when the other child had attempted suicide. Peter did not distrust authority – he distrusted the Headmaster because the boy felt betrayed when his former Headmaster had suddenly turned on them.

Moreover, Peter did not fit the profile he had gotten used to in these youngsters. In fact, had he not known anything about the boy, he would have pegged him as a child who was bullied, not the one doing the bullying. Although it might be deceptive – Peters place in the small group of 'Marauders', as they had apparently nicknamed themselves, seemed inferior at best. It was quite possible that gaining the stronger boy's favour had protecting him from bullying that would otherwise have certainly been his lot. And perhaps it still had been. By all accounts his 'friends' had treated him with indulgent teasing at best, and condescended barbs at worst. Peter had no backbone, and no self esteem. Two things they would have to work on.

Peter squirmed under the gaze of his new Headmaster. His parents had not said much to him – his father was a sickly man who had to keep calm. His mother had told him that they loved him, but that they could not allow his behaviour to continue. The new school, while so far away he could only come home for summer, had a regime that would benefit him, she assured him. They had brought him, had a talk with the Headmaster while Peter waited outside under the watchful eye of the Headmasters secretary – a strong bulky man who looked like he could take on ten men and win – and then his parents said goodbye before sending him into this office for his own talk with the man who now had full control over his life.

"Peter Pettigrew," the man finally said, "welcome to our school, Peter. You will find it different from Hogwarts, I am certain." His English was flawless, though it bore a strong German accent.

"You will be pleased to know the language will not be a barrier. We are an international school. German is the school's first language, but most of our students and all of our staff speak English as well. You will attend a mandatory German class, however."

Peter winced. Languages had never been his strong point.

"It is a class focussed on speaking and writing in daily life," the Headmaster reassured him, "we do not expect you to reach academic standards. Merely to be able to hold a simple conversation with your fellow students by the end of the year. We offer the same basic classes you are used to, with a few electives. You will go over those with your Mentor later on."

The Headmaster drummed his fingers on his desk briefly. "I am, of course, aware of why you were sent to us. You are not the only one in this school to arrive under such circumstances. While the staff is aware of the reason you are here, only your Mentor and myself know the details. Our students here have all had problems at their former schools; while we specialize in educating youngsters like you, we also think that you should start with as clean a slate as possible under these circumstances. Education is important, and you will spend a lot of time in class, but we focus equally much on developing you as a person – your character, your strengths, your weaknesses. The things that make you Peter Pettigrew. Not one of these 'Marauders', not part of a House system, but you."

"There…there is no House system here, Sir?" Peter asked after a long silence, when he felt he was supposed to give some sort of reaction.

"No. Each Professor has a small group of students under his care. Those are the Mentors. Yours is Mr Muller, our Charms Professor. You do not sleep in dorms, either, but each student has a small room to himself. Now, our regime here is far more strict than you are accustomed to. First of all, you are only allowed your wand in class or in the supervised homework groups where you do the practical parts of your assignments. A charm will be placed on your wand so you may summon it while you are in those areas. At all other times, it is stored away."

"Your program will be highly tailored to your needs, both in class and in mentoring. You will receive counselling and attend group therapy. Any incidents of bullying are dealt with thoroughly, and I advise you not to try. If you witness such an incident, you are encouraged, and even expected to report it to a Professor. Failure to do so is a punishable offence."

Peter nodded, a bit pale.

"From what I heard, you need to build self-confidence, Peter," the Headmaster said gently, "you are a person with talents in your own right. You need to develop those without deference to anyone else. We will help you do that."

OoOoOo

Lily tied the shoelaces of Severus's baby nikes and lifted the giggling toddler from the dressing table. Severus looked adorable in his baby jeans and dark red sweater. She grimaced a little – Severus had been so humiliated that day when she had seen Potter and Black take down his…well. Sometimes she worried how he would react when Professor Slughorn managed to re-age him and he learned that she had been taking care of him.

But it couldn't be helped. Severus was too attached to her to leave him with anyone else permanently, and he had been shown so preciously little care in his life.

Severus toddled along with her, holding on to her index finger. She carried his diaper bag and his favourite toys while he dragged his blankey behind him. They entered the infirmary where Poppy walked towards them before squatting down and opening her arms.

"Nana Poppy!" Severus beamed, rushing towards her for a cuddle.

"Hello, my sweetheart," she kissed the tip of his little nose, "are you coming to keep Nana Poppy company again? That is so kind of you."

"Help Nana," Severus nodded, pointing at some (unbreakable) bottles filled with coloured water and a small cauldron.

"He plays Potions with that," Poppy explained with a grin, "Horace…Professor Slughorn brought it. He needs to draw blood from Severus occasionally for the antidote, and he brings an addition to the set every time he does. He's a big softie, really."

"Owa," Severus laughed.

"So THAT'S what it means," Lily exclaimed, "he's been telling me about 'owa' but I never understood what he was talking about! So it means Professor Slughorn."

"Yes. Severus was a bit wary of him at first, but Horace brought the cauldron and the first three bottles, and they were fast friends. He even stayed for an hour to play with him. Now whenever he needs to do an unpleasant procedure, he brings a new bottle with a new colour."

As if on cue, Professor Slughorn ambled into the infirmary, clutching a bag. "Poppy my darling! Please tell me the little tyke is here. I feel I am close to a breakthrough but I need…oh. Hello Lily. Hi Sev!"

"OWA!" Severus toddled over to the large man who lifted him on his arm.

"Uncle Horace needs another blood sample," he told the toddler seriously, "you know what that means, don't you?"

Severus's lip trembled a little but he nodded. "Right. When I am done, I am going to give you a brand new potion for your collection!"

Lily looked worried, but Poppy patted her shoulder. "Professor Slughorn is kind and patient with him, Lily."

Horace sat down on the bed, Severus on his lap. Severus was leaning with his back against the man's chest.

"There you go, good boy," Horace bared the little arm, "Now we put on…"

"Cweem," Severus's voice trembled just a little, but he obediently held out his arm.

"Right. A little cream to numb your arm…good boy. Now we wait for ten seconds. One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six….Seven…Eight…Nine…"

"TEN!" Severus finished proudly.

"Good boy!" Horace took his wand. "There we go, Sev."

He said the incantation for the blood-extracting spell and the vial he was holding filled with Severus's blood. The little boy sniffled and turned his head against the arm Horace held around him.

"Almost done, little one. You are such a brave boy," he praised as he terminated the spell and healed the wound. "There. And now," he reached into the bag when he had tugged the child's sleeve down again, "this one is for you."

Severus bounced a little. "Look, Lily!"

The Professor sat him on his feet and he quickly rushed to his cauldron to put the new bottle with the others.

"Owa pay?" he asked shyly.

"Not today, alas, little man," the Professor shook his head in regret, "I have to work. I will come again soon and we will try out new potions, alright?"

Severus looked a little disappointed, but nodded eagerly. He loved his cauldron. Lily smiled. Professor Slughorn might not have done much for Severus, but like so many others he now lived with the guilt. Unlike many others, he actually had turned the guilt into something productive. She wondered why Severus did not seem to dislike him – she would have to ask Sev about it when he was grown up again.

She kissed the boy goodbye and left for her class, promising the nurse she'd be by to pick him up during lunch, since she had no afternoon classes.

Poppy patted Severus's head and brought him to his own play-corner that she had set up. Just as she was done, a pair of vomiting first years walked in, and she rushed over to help. The day had started again.

Severus looked in amazement as the bigger kids made the infirmary dirty and weren't punished. Instead, Nana Poppy gave them medicin to make them better. Then he spotted something else – Uncle Horace had forgotten to take his bag with him! Severus reached out to take it. Uncle Horace was nice. He would need the bag.

"Nana, Nana Poppy, bag," he tried to explain.

"Oh..Oh, Severus, honey," the nurse said, trying to feed a vomiting child an antidote, "you really have to do it yourself for a bit, dear. I will come help you as soon as I can."

Do it himself? Oh. Well, alright. Severus eyed the door, a little intimidated. Lily had taken him on a few walks around the castle to stretch his legs and he thought he knew where to find Uncle Horace…some familiar images of dungeon rooms flashed through his mind.

He took the bag and slowly started to walk down the corridor.

OoOoOo

Albus Dumbledore sighed. He had been tossing and turning all night, but had come to the conclusion that he would have to go visit the Potter house to speak with Sirius and James. It had already been weeks of painful truths, and he had just faced another – that the former Marauders had reason to feel betrayed by him.

So here he was, making his way to the end of the wards so he could Apparate to the Potter residence. He silently berated himself for acting like a child when he caught himself dragging his feet. He supposed he could have used the Floo but that required immediate conversation and did not leave time to gather one's thoughts.

A strange sound caught his attention suddenly, and he decided to investigate. Certainly he could not leave his school when strange things were around!

To his immense surprise, however, he did not find any dangerous animal or animated object. Instead, he found a small two year old boy, curled up at the feet of a suit of armour.

"Severus?" he asked, looking around in confusion for any sign of Lily or Poppy, "what are you doing here, child?"

Lily had a class, he knew, so the child probably should be with Poppy in the infirmary. It was not hard to guess that he had probably snuck out somehow from under the watchful eye of the nurse.

"Severus?"

The toddler cringed. It was the scary man! The scary man had found him! He was in so much trouble now! He had not meant to get lost! All thought left his little head as survival instincts took over.

Dumbledore sadly and helplessly watched the little ball of toddler curl in on himself even tighter, protecting his head instinctively.

"Severus, oh, Severus," he sighed, "I am not going to hurt you, not anymore, I promise, child."

There was no reaction from the shaking ball of misery. The old wizard tentatively reached out and rubbed the small back. Severus flinched, than held still, unnaturally still.

In horror, Dumbledore realized that the child had every reason to fear for his safety. He was probably, not counting his parents, the person Severus feared the most. That truly broke his heart, and he could not help but try and reach out to the little boy.

The Headmaster carefully gathered the tiny child in his arms, rocking him.

"Oh, child," he moaned, "what have I done? I am so, so very sorry, Severus. It will be better now, I promise. You will be strong and happy, we will make sure of it."

The boy did not react. He simply tucked the small head under his chin, nuzzling the dark baby soft hair.

"I'll take you to Nana Poppy, hmmm?" he said softly, "I think you got a little lost."

Severus peeked up just a little. He had been so frightened when the bad man came, but instead of blows, he was carried, carefully. As gently as his Lily always carried him, and Nana Poppy. The scary man was going to bring him back to Nana Poppy, he said. Oh, she would be angry with him! And his Lily too, perhaps.

Dumbledore stopped a moment to arrange the crying child more comfortable in his arms.

"Shhh, little one, shhh," he shushed, "no one is going to be angry with you. No one is going to hit you."

He entered the infirmary, where a frantic Poppy was instructing a House Elf to conduct a search for the child.

"…make sure you look in every nook and cranny, he's very good hiding himself…"

"Poppy," Albus said carefully, "I think I have what you are looking for."

"SEVERUS!" the nurse exclaimed, "Oh, I am so happy!"

She took the child from the Headmaster and cuddled him close. "Oh, where have you been, sweetheart?"

"I found him down the corridor, clutching this," he held out the bag Severus had with him, "isn't this Horace's?"

"Yes. Oh…OH! Oh no!" the nurse clasped a hand over her mouth, "oh no. He showed this to me, but I was busy with some first years and told him he had to do it himself for a bit until I could help him…he must have asked me to give it to Horace…and I forgot to put the ward on the door to prevent him leaving! How silly of me!"

She hugged Severus again, who, convinced Nana Poppy was not going to hit him, sighed deeply and curled against her. Through his eyelashes he watched the old wizard. The scary wizard. But today he had not been scary. When they had gone to all those places with toys and clothes he had not acted very scary, either. He did not want to think about it now. He was so tired from walking that far and then crying.

Nana Poppy placed his pacifier in his mouth and he laid his head against her shoulder. She felt soft and nice. With one arm flung around her neck, he slowly drifted off into a restless sleep.

"I must go," the Headmaster said, taking one last long, sad look at the child. Still, the boy was dozing in his presence, a remarkable improvement. Perhaps there was hope he could one day build a better relationship with Severus, after all.

OoOoOo

James and Sirius sat together on the sofa in the Potters library. The first time they were allowed to see each other aside from Sunday tea, but they had preciously little time to talk. A 'Hello, how are you' had been all they could exchange before Mr Potter informed them their Headmaster was coming today.

James stole a glance at his companion. Sirius looked pale and thin. Dark circles below his eyes. He wondered what his parents had done to his friend.

"Did they hurt you?" he whispered urgently.

Sirius looked up in surprise. "Hurt me?"

"Mum and Dad. You look like crap. Did they hurt you?"

"Oh,' Sirius stammered, apparently surprised, "No, no, they didn't hurt me. They've been nice to me." He seemed even more surprised about the fact they had been nice to him then the fact that James would think his parents would have done something.

Considering the major fights he'd had with his parents almost every day, James thought 'nice' sounded very unlikely, but Sirius had fallen silent again.

Mrs Potter entered. "Professor Dumbledore is on his way."

Sirius seemed to lose all colour and she looked at him, worried.

"Sirius? Are you alright?" A gentle hand rested on his head and James gaped. His mother WAS being nice to Sirius!

"Harold," Mrs Potter said to her husband who just entered the room, "I think Sirius is not ready for this."

Harold Potter squatted down before the sickly looking boy. "I agree," he said, "Why don't we call your doctor, Sirius, and he will stay with you in your room. Would you like that?"

Sirius had, over the last week and a half seen the Psychiatric Wizard every day and become increasingly close and at ease with the mild mannered, middle aged man. He was one of the best in the field for troubled youths and Mr and Mrs. Potter could see why. Slowly he had gained Sirius' trust not forcing him to talk if he didn't wish too, but gently probing for information in a way that wasn't threatening to the skittish youth. And thus Sirius was opening up more and more to the man.

"Y-yes, please," Sirius managed. A quick Floo call later, their therapist entered; he took one look at Sirius and hauled him up by his arm, supporting him as they left for Sirius's room.

"What did you do to him?" James said angrily, "he looks sick!"

"We are not doing anything to him," his father replied coldly, "he does a few chores every day and his homework. That is all."

A House Elf announced the arrival of Albus Dumbledore before James could react.

The Headmaster sighed as he saw the cold looks of the adults and the hateful gaze of James.

"Mr Potter. Mrs Potter. James," he greeted politely.

"Headmaster," Mrs Potter replied, "I am glad you came. Please, sit."

Sensing that this would not be a suitable occasion for tea and refreshments, they all took seats. James leaned back, his face angry.

"James…" the Headmaster began.

"I hate you," the boy replied heatedly.

"JAMES!" his father thundered, but Mrs Potter put a restraining hand on his arm.

"Darling, we wanted this meeting to clear the air. Forbidding anyone to speak their mind isn't going to help."

"Yes, well," Harold shook his head in agreement, "I must admit James does have valid reason for this sentiment."

That shocked the teen. His parents agreed that he had reason to hate the Headmaster?

"Yes, James," his father sat next to him, "we do understand why you feel betrayed by Professor Dumbledore. And you have reason to feel that way."

"First he told us for years Slytherin didn't matter, he was the one who constantly punished Snivellus, and then he shifted all the blame on us and got all self-righteous," James exploded, one hand clutching his fathers sleeve, "it's unfair!"

"Yes. Yes it is," His father agreed. "Not that you got punished, James. You should have been punished ever since this behaviour began. But I agree that it is unfair to shift all the blame on you and your friends. You are all but fifteen years old. The adults should have known better."

The Headmaster cleared his throat.

"My own behaviour towards you and your friends, and especially towards Severus, was reproachful," he said, "When the first fights broke out in your first year, I should have thoroughly investigated who was to blame for what. I failed to do that because of my own bias towards Slytherin. I told myself Gryffindors could not possibly gang up on someone four to one. I was so proud of Sirius that he was sorted into Gryffindor, and wanted to be free of his family's dark taint that I did not consider how much he had already been influenced by them. I owed Severus a safe place, and I did not provide that. I owed you and your friends a place where you would be guided, and I failed to live up to that expectation."

"Maybe," James seemed to think on that a moment, "but even if we were wrong, then it still isn't fair that you sat there pronouncing judgment on us when YOU were the one to blame! You were the one who told us all those years that what we did was just kids fighting, like other kids in school are fighting too, and then suddenly everyone is acting like we personally killed Snape in cold blood, you most of all. If we were wrong, you were too! And you got away with it all while we are stuck here for Merlin knows how long. No one is making YOU do chores, are they?"

The boy stared at the Headmaster defiantly, daring him to deny it.

"The entire school enabled this, though even as that is the case, you knew better, from what you were taught by us at home, than to pick on someone, anyone! However, you have a point" Mr Potter remarked, an eye on the old man, "I think a suitable chore for the Headmaster would be to install bullying protocols, educate the staff and students and put safety measures in place that prevent a situation like this from ever happening again."

James crossed his arms. "Oh come on, Dad. You would have insisted that he does that anyway. Sirius is suspended from school. Peter got withdrawn. How come he gets to stay, if he is as guilty as you all claim he is?"

A long, tense silence fell over the room. Finally Mrs Potter, to the utter surprise of her husband, broke the silence.

"If it were up to me, he wouldn't stay."

James's eyes widened and he gaped at his mother. The Headmaster flushed a deep pink.

"The only thing is, James – the Ministry would replace him with someone who is in their pockets. Someone who would do even less for the school. You know that this rising Dark Lord is recruiting among the older students. We could be unlucky enough to get someone who sympathises with that wizard. That is the only reason we have not demanded his resignation. But we ARE demanding changes."

"Madam, I assure you that my concern for the wellbeing of my…" Dumbledore trailed off, realizing that this line of defence was hardly sensible or believable at this time.

"Severus is so hurt," he finally said, brokenly, "even now that he is two. I should have protected him. And I failed. I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again. I have had contact with Peters school in Germany and the Headmaster agreed to send one of his staff over to help us. As for resigning…as much as I deserve it, I do not dare leave the school in the Ministry's hands."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What we did was _wrong,_ James. You were wrong in tormenting Severus and I was wrong in allowing it. I was wrong in letting you think Slytherin is not a true part of the school. I was blinded by my own prejudices. Please don't make my mistakes."

"It is clear that parents need to be far more involved in the school," Mrs Potter announced, "I am going to send up a Parent Association together with Mrs Lupin and Mrs Tolheim. You will be under much closer scrutiny from now on, Headmaster."

Under these severe promises Dumbledore returned to Hogwarts, realizing it was politics, not his own capacities in educating children, that saved his job. It was not a happy feeling.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply borrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

OoOoOo

Lily smiled at Severus as she dressed them for the day's outing. It was Saturday and the two of them had weaseled a day-pass out of Dumbledore, they were going to the Burrow to visit with Molly and Arthur Weasley.

Lily had been very close with Molly when the girl was still in school, both she and Arthur had been in seventh year when she had entered in first and Molly had been like a big sister to her. She had been so confused coming into the magical world and so very homesick. It was Molly who had been there for her when she needed someone to take care of her and make her feel safe.

Now she and Arthur were married and had two children about Severus' age. Billy, who was nearly three and Charlie, just over a year.

Lily had thought it would be good for Severus to see how a real loving family was supposed to work. Sure, she gave him all the love and support he needed but it was important for him to see that the way he was treated was not the way parents, loving parents treated their children. That what had been done to him was wrong and that it was his parents that had been bad, not him. And there were no more loving parents to show him this than Arthur and Molly.

Also being around children his own age would be good for Severus. He needed to make some friends and interact with children instead of teens and adults.

Lily and Molly Owled each other at least once a week and truthfully, it had been Molly's idea to bring Severus over. Lily had thought it a wonderful idea and had expressed her desires to Madame Pomfrey ,who of course had no problem getting Dumbledore to give them a day-pass out of the castle.

"Are we ready to go Sev?" She asked.

Severus looked adorable in his denim overalls with green jumper beneath. His pacifier hung in front of it by its leash that was attached to the top of his overalls. He was holding his blanket, that he went nowhere without, tightly in one little fist. It was November and was getting very cold out so Lily made sure to dress him nice and warm. Even though they would be taking the Floo directly to the Burrow with no need to go outside, she still wanted him to be nice and warm.

"We go?" Severus asked pulling his blanket close and holding it to the side of his face, nuzzling it a bit. He liked the way it felt against his skin, warm, soft and fuzzy.

For a quick transfiguration it really was a work of art, a knitted patchwork type blanket made with three dark shades of green yarn. In the middle of the knitted pattern was a large snake made from shining silver yarn which had a black gem like button for an eye, its forked tongue stuck out in bright red yarn. It was large enough to wrap around Severus warmly yet not to large that it could not be taken everywhere he went. Which was imported considering he wasn't willing to let it out of his sight. Professor McGonagall explained that magic worked on intent, and since Lily felt strongly about Severus, she was able to go beyond her normal level of skill. It showed Lily what she was capable of if she put her mind and heart to it; she had willed her magic to transfigure the perfect blanket for Severus and it had done what she had wanted.

"Yes, we are going to visit some friends, the Weasleys, just like I told you. We are going to see Molly and Arthur and their two little boys Bill and Charlie so that you can play," she repeated what she had told him that morning when he woke.

Grabbing Severus's' diaper bag and holding out her hand to him, they moved towards the door and headed for the headmasters office so they could use his Floo. Lily would have preferred to avoid that place, but it was the only floo in the school that was connected to the network outside.

"Lily!" Molly cried enthusiastically when they stepped out of the Floo. She kissed the girl and toddler both. She tapped Severus on his cheek, so quickly he had no time to get upset.

"And who is this fine young man, hmmm? Come, Arthur is dying to see you, as are the boys!"

"This is Sev, Molly," Lily said proudly. Of course Molly knew all about what happened. She had written her, for advice too, the past weeks.

Molly's question was more too calm Severus than that she actually wanted information.

Severus seemed to like her - she had red hair like his Lily and in his mind he felt she was a kind woman. He had seen her before, he was sure. She was not scary, not at all. He didn't even mind that she had kissed him, though he wondered why she would.

Lily hoisted Severus higher on her hip. "I can't wait to see Charlie; I haven't seen him in months! I bet he's grown."

"Oh yes," Molly said proudly, "he can walk now. Took his first steps on his own the day after his birthday. And Billy can fly his baby broomstick now; we let him fly in the yard when we have kiddy wards up." She bragged.

Severus ducked his head shyly into the crook of Lily's neck, sticking his pacifier in his mouth. One hand clung tightly to his blankey and the other twirled a lock of Lily's hair around one little finger as he was often wont to do.

Molly smiled at the baby and led the way into the Burrow where Arthur, having the day off, was sitting on the couch watching Bill and Charlie play on the floor in front of him.

"We should really Floo Andromeda and see if she wants to come over, she has a little one just about Sev's age, she is just over 29 months. Yes, Nymphadora is a little sweetie though I have to wonder about the poor dear's development as she is rather unsteady on her feet and far too prone to breaking things. I didn't want to invite her until I was sure it was okay with you and that Sev here wasn't too overwhelmed. Maybe if things go well this morning we could invite them to come over after lunch, maybe for tea." Molly mused.

Lily smiled and nodded "I think it would be great for Severus to make more friends, if he doesn't seem too frightened by the boys then I don't see the harm, he is more comfortable around girls anyway. I don't think it should be a problem," Lily said walking over to where the boys and father were sitting.

Severus went from twirling Lily's hair to gripping it tightly as he spotted Arthur, he was so frightened by the man's presence he didn't even seem to notice the two red headed boys on the floor.

Lily had to bite her lip as to keep from yipping as her hair was yanked, she didn't want to scare the boy and so she simply eased the little fist from her hair holding it in her hand comfortingly instead.

Severus let out a little confused whimper. He got a good feeling about the man, he seemed familiar and something in his mind told him he liked him, and his red hair, he liked red hair. At the same time, he was a man around the age of his father (at least the age he remembered her father being when he was two) and that in and of itself scared him.

Arthur, having noticed the little boy's fright - and having expected it, considering what Molly had shared from Lily's letters - did not move to comfort the boy or even acknowledge his presence. Instead, he picked up Charlie and cuddled him to show Severus he had no intention of harming anyone.

Charlie immediately made a grab for his father's glasses and Severus stiffened - surely now the little boy would be punished!

But Arthur just laughed, retrieved his glasses and put them on Charlie's face. The little boy looked cross-eyed and giggled.

Severus felt relieved that he would not be witnessing anyone being beaten. He also felt something he did not quite understand. This man was being nice to the little boy! His Daddy had never been nice to him. Why was that?

In his fifteen year old mind, echoing into the two year old brain, words emerged - Worthless brat! Waste of space!

Sadly, Severus concluded that this boy must be a good little boy. The kind of boy Severus wanted to be. So this boy's daddy loved him.

He bit hard on the nipple of his pacifier and turned his face into Lily's shoulder as if trying to hide. He wondered what these little boys did that he didn't do. Why were they good and not him.

Lily patted his back and mumbled gentle reassuring words into his ear and he calmed a bit… His Lily thought he was a good boy, she told him so and she wouldn't lie to him, right?

Turning back from Lily's shoulder Severus took in everything around him.

Lily had red hair, the mummy lady had red hair, the daddy had red hair and both boys' hair was red.

He didn't have red hair. He had black hair like his mummy and daddy. His mummy and daddy were mean. Severus didn't like black hair, he liked red hair. He wanted red hair, red hair was good, black hair wasn't black hair was bad, he seemed to recall somewhere in the back of his mind other bad people, mean boys, he knew that had black hair, but he couldn't remember exactly who they were, only that they were bad…

Lily, Molly, and Arthurs eyes went wide as they watched Severus' hair color change from jet black to a shade of red that matched that of Lily's, who nearly dropped the toddler in shock.

Lily stared at Molly. "What...what on earth just happened?" she whispered, holding Severus tighter.

Molly moved to where the little boy could not see her and waved her wand over him to ascertain what had caused the change in hair color. Yet she couldn't seem to get it to change back and thought it best not to try too hard, as any magic she used to fix it might badly effect Severus and the magic he was apparently using to maintain it.

"Goodness. Accidental magic of that caliber is quite rare. Don't worry, Lily. Eventually his hair should turn back to its own color. It's a color change charm I believe and it should wear off, how long it takes depends on the strength of the magic behind it, and given his age it should not last too long," she assured.

Severus looked at them through nervous, confused, black eyes, had he done something?

He shivered a little as a strand of hair fell into his face, it was red, but he didn't have red hair….

Did he do that? Was he in trouble?

"I should say we should be more worried why he suddenly changed hair color," Arthur added softly, "he obviously tried to fit in somehow."

Lily sighed, gently stroking the now red locks. She wondered if Severus even knew what he had done and she wasn't sure if she should point it out to him or just ignore it letting it fade on its own.

"He is very insecure." Lily gave in way of explanation. Who really knew what was going on in the little ones mind? Being a black head amongst all the red couldn't have felt very safe for a little one who wished only to blend in and not be noticed.

"Well," Molly said happily, "Billy! Severus just did magic for the very first time! What does that mean?"

Bill looked up with a huge grin. "Cookies!!"

Severus's eyes widened. It was a strange combination, the obsidian eyes with the red hair, but somehow not unbecoming.

Cookies? They weren't angry with him? He was going to get a treat instead of being slapped?

"Let's go to the kitchen," Molly proposed, "the kids can bake their own cookies there."

Little Sev stared as he was seated in a chair next to lily by the kitchen table. Molly had quickly whipped up some cookie dough by magic and handed each boy a piece, placing a bowl of raisins and a bowl of chocolate chips down in front of each child as well.

"Look Sev," Lily said, rolling a bit out on the table and adding raisins from one end to the other in a squiggly pattern, "a snake."

Pushing the pacifier out of his mouth with his tongue, Severus gave a small smile.

"Nake!" He repeated, he liked snakes, snakes and red hair…

Sev tentatively reached out to take the dough that had been placed in front of him, fully expecting to be smacked back. But the red haired lady simply smiled at him and helped the smallest boy with his portion of the dough. The man was helping Billy, and Lily was only admiring the nice snake she made for him.

Draping his blankey across his lap so as to have use of both his hands Severus started to work mimicking what he had seen his Lily do.

His still clumsy little fingers smashed a bit of the dough. He pushed a chocolate chip into the middle, and looked up at Lily to see what she thought. Lily gave him an encouraging smile, and so he continued to make cookies until the dough was gone.

Molly then used her wand to quickly bake their creations. "There," she said in satisfaction, "now we're going to let them cool for a little while, and then we can eat them."

Now that his hands and mind were no longer occupied with cookie making his eyes fixed on Arthur. He knew he shouldn't stare at the man and if he was caught looking at him he would be mad, but he couldn't help it. Everything about him was confusing and Severus just wanted to figure out if the man was good and safe like part of his brain was telling him, or if he was scary and dangerous like other parts of his brain were telling him.

Black eyes blinking he rubbed at them as he was snapped out of his trance by a little insistent voice. It wasn't calling for his attention but was distracting none the less.

"Lily, Lily, come see me an' Charlie rooms," Billy pulled her hand, "Come! Mummy maked me a big boy bed!"

Lily laughed, and looked around.

"Don't worry, Lil, we'll keep an eye on the little one," Arthur said good-naturedly, "you go with them. They won't give you a moment's peace now, until you've gone up." Sure Lily could easily take the small boy with her, but they all knew it was unhealthy for him to cling to her so, and they were hardly going to hurt him. Half the reason for taking him on this outing was getting him used to others besides herself and so with a nod she got up allowing herself to be dragged along by the insistent toddler.

Severus panicked. His Lily was leaving him with the scary man!

Although part of his brain told him that Lily would never leave him if she did not believe him to be safe, he still panicked. Jumping out of his chair, his blanket clutched tightly on one little fist, he backed away hastily pushing into the tray of cooling cookies, sending it crashing to the floor.

Oh no, oh no, he was in so much trouble now!

He curled in on himself, trembling violently. Arthur watched helplessly - but Molly who usually knew how to handle such things, had just gone to the pantry to fetch milk for the children.

"Shhh, little one," he crouched down in front of the shaking ball of toddler, "come. It is alright." Not knowing what else to do, he lifted Severus in his arms and relocated to the chair. He held the child close, rubbing the small back and speaking in low, soothing tones.

Severus was unsure what to do, but he knew better then to lash out and prevent himself from being lifted. That always made things so much worse, but that didn't mean his small frame wasn't shaking like an autumn leave before the fall, or that he didn't stiffen up a bit in anticipation of the coming blows.

However none were forthcoming. In fact strong arms simply held him tightly as the man swayed gently back and forth in what he hoped was a soothing motion for the boy, it always worked on Bill or Charlie when they were worked up.

Finally black eyes peeked fearfully from beneath thin arms. "T...T...Towwy..." Severus stammered.

Arthur cuddled him tighter. "Oh, it is alright, Sev," he said gently, "look." he waved his wand and the cookies, tray and all, flew back onto the counter. Some a bit worse for wear, but all still very much edible.

"There. It's already cleaned up. It was not your fault." Arthur assured one hand coming to gently brush red hair from the child's face

"I scare you, don't I?" He asked.

Severus did not quite understand, and knew no response to this anyway, but the arms holding him were warm and careful, not harsh like his father's used to be when he dragged Severus off to deposit in his cot or hit him.

"Shhh, it is ok, I understand. Bad men did scary things to you so it's okay to be frightened, but I won't harm you I promise." Arthur soothed, feeling awful for the boy. He thought of his own loud, happy boys who did not have a care in the world, and did not need to fear anything worse from their parents than the occasional time-out if they misbehaved. How anyone could hurt any child, let alone his very own child, was beyond him.

Sev kept very still - who knew what might set the man off? But inside his head, the part of his brain that told him this was a nice man became louder, and began to silence the part that feared him. He said he wouldn't harm him, he said it was okay that he was scared. He had nice red hair just like his Lily too, and he was holding him, not yelling or hitting…

Severus relaxed against Arthur one small hand reaching up tentatively to touch the man's red hair, which hung pin straight around his ears.

Arthur smiled indulgently and allowed the small hands to inspect him, pat his hair, then his cheek before it slid to his nose and down to his chin.

Having mapped the whole of Arthur's face the tiny appendage came back down to grab his pacifier which was quickly shoved into his mouth.

A silent acceptance could be seen in the child's dark eyes and felt in his body as it relaxed against Arthur's. Arthur slowly, so not to scare the boy, brought one hand up to stroke more hair from his face, more in a friendly loving gesture than because there was any hair out of place.

Arthur then summoned a book to him, and ignoring the slight flinch the action caused as well as the unnatural stillness that fallowed, he began to read. It was a story his own sons loved, about Brave Godric and his Phoenix friend. Severus slowly forgot any residual fear as the story progressed. When Molly returned, she smiled at the scene before her. Arthur would do his level best to reassure the child, she knew. Her kind-hearted husband would not be able to bear the thought that a child was afraid of him.

It didn't take long for Arthur to finish reading the book, and as though on cue, moments after he placed the finished book down on the table, Billy came running back down the steps followed by Lily who was carrying Charlie, a huge smile on his face.

"Lily like my room!!" He informed his parents excitedly.

"Well isn't that lovely." Molly said with a smile, "Come the cookies are nice and cool now and we can each have one with some milk, we will save the rest for after lunch."

Billy climbed happily into his chair, the special one with the red booster seat on it so he could reach the table yet still sit on one of the big boy chairs.

Lily placed Charlie into his high chair, looking over at Severus. She smiled widely as she saw how he was snuggled down in Arthurs lap, and Arthur made no move to set him in his own chair as Molly poured out the milk. Both man and toddler seemed more then content to stay as they were.

Molly filled a bottle, two sippy cups and three regular cups with milk. She handed one of the sippy cups to Arthur for Sev and handed the second to Bill, keeping the bottle to give to Charlie. Lily helped by setting out the three regular cups for the adults and handing out the cookies. Then she and Molly finally sat, Molly in her seat next to Charlie and Lily in the seat next to Arthur who still held Sev in his lap.

Severus looked at the cookie he had been given, it was the one that his Lily had made with the raisin snake on it, it even had chocolate chips all around the edges. It was a wonderful cookie and Severus couldn't believe it had been given to him. He looked up at Arthur with worried black eyes, expecting him to snatch away the cookie. But Arthur simply smiled and nodded, handing him the cup of milk to go along with the cookie.

Severus pushed his pacifier out of his mouth with his tongue in a well practiced motion, letting it fall to hang against his chest on its leash. He picked up the cookie and held it so Arthur could see.

"Mine?" he asked uncertainly.

Arthur smiled reassuringly and nodded.

"Yup, all yours, so why don't you eat it all up?" he suggested and Severus awarded him with one of his very rare, very precious smiles before bringing the cookie to his mouth and munching on it.

Arthur and Lily exchanged pleased looks as they went about eating their own cookies and drinking their own milk.

After finishing his cookie, which Severus thought was the most yummiest cookie ever; he leaned back against Arthur's chest drinking the last of his milk from his sippy cup with a rather contented sigh.

Bill, having quickly finished his own cookie and milk, slid from his chair and went over to where Severus was sitting in his daddy's lap.

"Come…. We play block!!" he insisted, yanking on Sev's little hand.

Severus' face lit up, no other children ever wanted to play with him before and the blocks were his favorite. He looked at Lily for her approval and when she gave him a nod, he slipped of Arthurs lap and allowed Billy to lead him by the hand into the other room, his blanket dragging behind him.

Billy led him over to the corner of the room where a huge collection of multi colored blocks resided. He plopped down next to them giving Severus' hand a slight tug to indicate he should follow suit, and so he did, plopping down on his diaper clad bottom right next to Billy.

Billy immediately set about stacking blocks and when he noticed Severus simply watching him build he took a green block and thrust it at him.

"Play!" he demanded of the other boy who took the offered block and added it to the growing tower.

It took some time and a bit more encouragement from Bill, in the form of having more blocks thrust at him and more demands of 'play!' or 'build.' Issued But eventually Severus got into it and soon the two toddlers were completely hidden behind a large wall of multi colored building blocks. And said wall seemed to be emitting giggling sounds, which Lily was thrilled to note were not only coming from Bill but from Severus as well.

Behind the wall Bill and Severus had started to play with Bill's knight figurines, Bill showing Severus how to make them fight and Severus mimicking the actions.

Molly, who now a days always had a camera on hand, had spent a good portion of the morning taking pictures , promising to send copies to Lily. Lily made a mental note to have Dumbledore get her a camera as well.

Charlie busied himself on a play mat in front of the couch where his parents and Lily were sitting, contented in examining, hitting and grabbing the various colorful objects that floated above his head.

The morning flew by rather fast and went much better than Lily could have ever hoped. Bill was a lovely sweet little boy which was perfect for Severus' scared shy disposition and slowly but surely he had managed to pull Severus out of his shell.

Soon Molly got up and headed to the kitchen preparing lunch for the lot of them.

For once Severus gave Lily no issue eating and finished nearly ¾ of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as he seemed to be set on mimicking Bill. Severus matched Bill bite for bite of his sandwich and sip for sip of his juice; he even reached for his napkin and wiped his face when he saw Bill do it. It was rather cute to watch and if it got Severus to each his lunch all the more reason for Lily to be thrilled.

"I think I will floo call Andromeda and have her bring Nymphadora over after nap time, what do you think Lily, you think Sev would like another play partner for the afternoon?" Molly asked as she cleared off the table with a flick of her wand.

"Yes, I think he would like that and the morning went so well, but first I think a nap is very much in order." Lily had to hold back a giggle as Severus, who had eaten his lunch once more sitting in Arthur's lap (Arthur _claimed_ it was because they only had the one booster seat and Severus wouldn't be able to reach the table) could barely keep his head up. It kept lulling back and his eyes kept sliding shut no matter how many times the child tried to snap them open or hold his head up again.

"Why don't you put him down with Bill, his big boy bed is plenty big for them both to nap in, right Billy?" Molly asked her oldest son, who's eyes lit up at the idea of being able to nap with his new friend.

"Uh huh, it's huggeeeee!!" Billy said spreading his arms out as wide as they could go to show them just how huge his new big boy bed was.

Lily smiled gratefully, she had told Molly about Severus' fear of the cot and was glad she had remembered.

"Okay then I will put Charlie down for his nap, why don't you and Arthur take care of Bill and Sev then." Molly suggested picking the baby up out of his high chair.

Charlie curled up against her chest and let out a big yawn one little fist coming up to rub at a sleepy eye.

"Right Molly." Arthur said rising with Severus in his arms.

Severus who was half asleep did not have the best grip on his blanket and it feel from his hand onto the floor. He let out a discontented little half asleep whine and Arthur quickly bent at the knees, balancing Severus on his hip, and picked the blanket up before carrying Severus up to Bill's room. Lily followed behind holding Bill's hand only stopping a moment to grab Sev's diaper bag.

Arthur placed the already sleeping Severus down on Billy's bed and then took the diaper bag from Lily who walked in moments behind him. He quickly changed Severus' nappy and redressed him in his pajamas, a cute green flannel one piece footsy number with a cartoon snake on the chest. The boy didn't even stir. Arthur then placed him in bed his head on the pillow and tucked his blankey up around him.

Lily let Arthur take over tucking Severus in sensing it was something he needed to do. She instead set about helping Bill get his pajamas and soon both boys were snuggled into the bed together.

Lily followed Arthur out of the room closing off the lights and door behind her making sure to leave the door open a crack so that they could hear if there was a problem.

They arrived back in the living room just as Molly was stepping back from the floo.

"Andromeda said she will be over as soon as Dora wakes up from her nap." She informed them as she sat on the couch and picked up her knitting needles continuing with the sweater she had started for Charlie.

Lily sat next to her. Taking out another set of knitting needles, Molly handed them to her and started to teach her how to knit. Molly had promised in one of her letters that she would show her how as Lily wanted to knit Severus something special for Christmas. Sure the blanket she gave him was lovely and knitted but it was made with magic and there was just something special about giving something made the Muggle way.

Molly was nearly finished with her sweater and Lily had the beginning row of a green sweater of her own when the fire flared and Andromeda stuck her head through.

"Dora is up, may we come through?" She asked. Andromeda had been in the same year as Molly and Arthur and Molly and she had always been rather close friends.

"Sure, the boys are still asleep but they should be up any moment now." Molly answered and a moment later Andromeda stepped through carrying a bright-eyed little girl wearing her pink hair in pigtails, the color of her hair matched the pink corduroy overalls she was wearing over a matching pink jumper. Her shoeless feet were merely covered in white frilly socks. She clung tightly to a well worn stuffed dragon.

Andromeda herself looked rather worse for the wear, her striking black hair that had been pulled back into a pony tail atop her head, was now sticking out of the hair band in all direction. Her astute white blouse that had been impeccably tucked into her black pencil skirt was now bunched and un-tucked in several places, she held in her left hand a pair of black toddler sized Mary-Jane patent leather shoes as she balanced the toddler on her hip her right arm under the child's bottom.

"Oh my, what happened?" Molly asked concerned.

"Dora here seems to have an aversion to shoes…" Andromeda started but apparently, that was enough to let the others know what had gone on and Arthur Molly and Lily lapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Really it was not funny, we almost didn't come, you should have seen her, her hair went bright red with orange tips while it shortened, spiking like fire. Her eyes glowed red and she threw one rather spectacular fit. However after five minutes in the naughty chair in the corner we finally reached a compromise and she at least allowed me to put on her socks. Sometimes I don't know what gets into her." Andromeda said staring pointedly at the little girl who merely flashed her, an innocent toothy grin.

Andromeda shook her head and smiled "You little monster." She said fondly kissing her daughters head before placing her on the floor.

"Boys are still asleep?" She asked as she sat in the unoccupied chair next to the couch.

Molly was about to nod when, as if on cue, Billy came down the stairs holding Severus' hand and pulling him along behind him. Severus had his pacifier in his mouth and was clinging to his blankey which dragged slightly on the ground.

They were both still in their pajamas and rather fuzzy with the remnants of sleep, hair sticking up at all kinds of odd angles and the imprint of the pillows on their cheeks.

"Well, look who is awake." Lily said with a smile opening her arms to Severus who freed his hand from Bills and toddled over to Lily, climbing up into her lap. She was relieved to see that during his nap his hair had changed back into its normal shade of midnight black. She soothed a hand over it gently and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Why don't we get you dressed hmm? And then you can play some more with your new friends." She told him carrying him back to Bill's room where she had left the diaper bag. Molly followed suit with Billy and soon both boys were dressed once more, Severus with a fresh clean nappy in place. As they were getting re dressed Bill made sure to show Lily and Severus his new big boy underpants the ones with the snitches on them that he was so very proud of.

Molly decided that she would leave Charlie to sleep for a little while longer before she would go and wake him if he didn't wake himself. If he slept too long he would not sleep that night.

Brining the boys back down, they placed them on the floor next to Dora who was busying herself with her stuffed dragon who she was chattering to happily.

"Hi." She chirped merrily to Severus who was put down next to her.

Severus gave a shy wave as he took in the little girl. She was nothing like Billy or Charlie. The pink hair was odd, he had never seen pink hair before, but she seemed really nice and she was wearing overalls just like him, only hers were pink like her hair while his were blue denim. But she seemed nice enough, if a bit odd, and the new Lady, he felt like he knew her like she was nice and safe.

Putting down the dragon the girl turned to Sev.

"Play tea." She ordered before standing up and toddling over to the little basket that she knew from previous play sessions with Billy, held the child's tea set, charmed to conjure tea the perfect temperature for little ones.

On her way back over she tripped over her own two feet and stumbled forward taking a nose dive hitting the floor face first. All the adults held their breath waiting to see if the child would break out into sobs. The little girl simply stood back up and grabbed the basket up again and continued her walk over back over to Severus and Billy. She was so used to tripping and falling that unless she really got hurt, like skinning her knee she was usually rather unfazed by it.

Sitting back down with the boys she opened the tea set, she pulled out the cups and kettle and placed them on the turned over basket which had become the table. Reaching over she grabbed for the tea kettle to start pouring she accidently upended the entire basket causing tea cups and saucers to go flying about.

Large tears formed in her eyes which turned from bright blue to a dark black as her pink hair turned a deep blue and she started to cry.

"Braked tea!!" She cried. Sure the set was charmed not to break but it was all a mess now.

Andromeda was on her feet immediately, she was used to her daughter wreaking havoc on places were ever they went and so her reflexes were finely honed. However Molly put her hand out to stop her from going over as she saw Severus crawl over and put his arms around Nymphadora, hugging her close and pattering her back just as his Lily did for him when he would cry.

He then reached over and righted the basket and with the help of Billy they quickly got all the dishes and cups back in place.

"Ficked, all better." Severus told her "No more sad." He added placing a kiss on her head mimicking what his Lily did to make him feel all better when he was feeling sad.

Dora gave one last little sniffle, her little hand coming up to wipe her eyes which once again turned to a crystal blue, her hair once more turning pink, which was her favorite colors to make her eyes and hair.

As the little ones had their tea party the adults sat and talked.

"Have you thought about taking Dora to a specialist?" Molly asked "I mean a certain amount of clumsiness is to be expected from toddlers but she is a walking tornado that little one."

Coming from anyone else that may have been insulting but coming from Molly, Andromeda knew it was just concern.

"Her pediatric witch said some people are just born clumsy and she is on target with everything else, in fact her vocabulary is advanced, I have known adults who don't talk as much as my Dora. The pediatric witch assured me there is nothing wrong with her development, but it has more to do with that as a metamorphmagus she does not have a steady form. That makes it harder for her to balance. It isn't entirely uncommon for metamorphmagus' to be clumsier than other witches and wizards," Andromeda explained.

Molly nodded, she didn't know much about that sort of thing but it sounded right enough. She was about to ask about how Dora was doing controlling her morphing when once again the flames in the hearth flared to life and this time the head of young Remus Lupin was stuck through.

"Um, hullo?" He said tentatively.

"Remus?" Lily questioned.

"Oh hi Lily, Dumbledore wanted me to check and see how things were going." He told her. Lily rolled her eyes, the meddling old coot; he knew full well she would have already been back at the castle if something had gone wrong.

"Things are going wonderful, why don't you come on through Remus?" Molly suggested.

"I Um… hold on…" Remus said and his head disappeared, a few moments later he stepped through the hearth and into the living room.

"Sorry, had to ask Dumbledore's permission." He explained as he dusting soot off himself.

Seeing Remus, Severus jumped up and toddled over to him quickly holding his arms up. Remus quickly obliged the silent request and lifted him up carrying him over to an empty chair where he sat with him in his lap.

Severus who was content with just having been picked up when he wanted to be, quickly wriggled out of Remus' lap and back over to his friends. Billy had brought out those neat knights again and was beckoning him over to play.

Dora had been eyeing Remus with interest and as soon as Severus slid from his lap she got up, stuffed dragon in hand, and climbed up uninvited into the boy's lap.

"Hi." She chirped at him excitedly.

"Dis kitten." She informed him holding up her stuffed dragon.

Remus raised an eyebrow at the little one with pink hair and a dragon named kitten of all things, who had invited herself into his lap. He had to bite his inner cheek to keep from chuckling at her.

"Me's Dora." She told him

"Well hullo Dora, I'm Remus." He introduced himself.

Andromeda laughed as she watched her little girl who, after introductions were over, started to chatter away at Remus who made a show of being interested in everything she had to say, and she seemed to have a lot to say.

"Emus lookies." She demanded after having told him everything she could think of. When she was convinced she once more had his undivided attention she morphed her nose into a pig's nose, she then went on to giggle uncontrollably at Remus' startled look.

"Oh dear, we should have warned you Remus, she is a metamorphmagus." Lily told him through her own giggles.

Remus nodded, he should have guessed given the color of the girl's hair and all.

"Emus, Emus, lookies loookkiieess!!" She demanded again once more morphing this time her ears turned into puppy ears and her face elongated into a puppy's snout and she gave a little bark before morphing into a kitten and meowing at him. She then morphed back into herself as those were the only things, besides changing her hair and eye color that she had managed to master. Still even all that was rather amazing for her young age, the doctor had commented on her wonderful control of her unique gift.

Molly chuckled softly and leaned into Andromeda, "Seems someone has a little bit of a crush." She pointed out to her friend. Andromeda gave a giggle of her own and nodded.

"It does seem that way Molly." She agreed.

Overhearing them, Remus could not help the blush the crept into his cheeks; it did seem the toddler was rather… fond of him. He was a shy sort of fellow, not at all accustomed to all this attention even if it was coming from a toddler.

"I think I hear wedding bells." Lily teased causing Remus to turn an even deeper shade of red.

"I am only teasing." She assured him patting his shoulder.

That evening after dinner it was a very tired Severus who was escorted to the Floo.

Snuggling down in Lily's arms already dressed in his pajamas again and cuddled in his blanket, Severus waved to Molly, Arthur and the boys.

"Bibi's Weablies." He said before popping his pacifier into his mouth and dropping his head against Lily's chest.

As Lily stepped through the floo after Remus she could hear the sound of barely controlled laughter behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply barrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

OoOoOo

Sirius was going through the motions of being alive in a daze. He ate when food was put in front of him, drank when he was handed a glass of liquid (which could have been poison for all he cared), did his chores and homework when ordered to and he answered questions from his therapist when asked though never freely offered up information.

He asked no questions of his own and made no complaints. He was very much lost inside his own head. It was the only way for him to cope with everything that had been going on; the fact that his entire world had been turned upside down in the matter of minutes.

He tried not to think about what had happened to bring him to where he was, he simply did everything that was asked of him as if he was a under the Imperius curse.

It was that reason that found him scrubbing the stone wall outside Mr. Potter's study with a small scrub brush and a bucket of soapy water.

He wasn't eavesdropping really; he had not the presence of mind to willfully listen in on a private conversation, though at one point he would have gone out of his way to do just that.

No, it was the fact that there was definitely yelling going on in there that had gotten his attention.

"NO! Harold Potter you keep your nose out of this is if you know what is healthy for you." It was the shrill, high-pitched, unpleasant, screaming voice of his mother and Sirius could not help but panic.

Why was Mr. Potter talking to her, he wasn't sending him back was he? Oh please no he can't send him back. He was trying to behave really he was, but by now he had learned that he was a terrible, terrible boy so he supposed he could understand…

But, But wait, he couldn't send him back, right? He remembered now, as much as he had wanted to forget it. His parents didn't want him; his parents had thrown him away, given him to the Potters because they didn't want him.

He had been trying so hard to forget that little bit of information but it seemed that all he had been trying to bury in his head was now coming back to the surface…

But if it wasn't about sending him back then what were they arguing about? Unless Mr. Potter really hated him enough to force him back on his parents and that was why his mother was so angry. That would make sense.

Sirius could feel his heart ache a bit and he dropped the scrub brush into the bucket of sudsy water, causing a bit of the dirty liquid to splash over the edges on to the floor as he inched closer to the door to hear what was going on.

"Mrs. Black I would thank you to please lower your voice. This isn't something up for discussion…" Sirius took in a deep breath feeling positively sick. So Mr. Potter was sending him back… Sirius was about to retreat back to his room and pack his things when more of the conversation hit his ears.

"You are lucky after what I have found out about your child rearing technique I don't have the ministry come and arrest you, you are lucky I'm simply seeking Regulus be removed." He heard Mr. Potter say and he felt relief wash over him for all of a moment. Mr. Potter wasn't sending him back; he was trying to get his brother away from the abusive environment. But the relief didn't last very long before his mothers shrieking voice was heard again.

"You will not take my baby from me, and if you know what is good for you and your family you should stop trying to. I already gave you the no-good one, good riddens, but you won't be getting my Regulus! Not over my dead body! We love him!"

Oh…OH! It dawned on Sirius; something he knew deep down but had never really had tossed in his face, such as it was being now.

His parents loved Regulus, wanted Regulus but not him. He had known deep down all along that this was the case. There was the fact that Regulus didn't get beaten with the severity or regularity that he himself did. The fact that his parents were willing to listen to the lies his creepy little brother told about him and punish him for those things even when he had not done them. The fact that they always took Regulus' side in a fight no matter how wrong he had been and it was always Sirius who had gotten punished for those things. Yet never before had it been stated so plainly, so blatantly as it had just been and Sirius could feel the last of his world crumble down around him.

The rest of the conversation was lost to the boy, drowned out by the blood pounding in his ears. He didn't even realize that he had let out a rather loud sob until Mr. Potter had come running to the door to see what was going on.

In a complete panic Sirius ran, knocking into the bucket sending it and its contents flying down the hall and making a rather large mess, but he didn't stop to recognize it or clean it up. Instead he went running down the hall as fast as his legs would carry him.

He did not even slow when an angry house elf squeaked loudly at him scolding him indignantly and sending a stinging hex at his bottom, which they were often want to do with unruly, naughty children. It was a mild spell the elves had developed many years ago for disciplinary purposes as many a house elf was left as sole disciplinarian to their owners children. One well aimed hex smarted for a long while but did no harm as a house elf would never dream of harming anyone.

It hit smack dab in the middle of his bum causing him to yelp loudly, more tears coming to his eyes and coursing down his cheeks. He stopped momentarily to clutch at the stinging spot on his backside and peer pathetically at the angry house elf but took off running again, much to the elf's displeasure, when he spotted Mr. Potter coming after him.

Sirius didn't see Mr. Potter stop to scold the house elf for using the hex, especially on an obviously distraught child. That caused the house elf to apologize profusely to the man before going to clean the mess the child had made. The little elf also promised to finish the rest of the child's chores for the day in way of apology to the boy. The Potter elves knew better then to punish themselves; they knew the Potters disapproved of self harm for any reason and that the Potters believed a scolding from them not to do it again was enough in way of correction, but that didn't mean the little elf would not gladly take on the extra chores to show his remorse.

Mr. Potter nodded his approval before taking off again after the boy.

Sirius ran all the way to his room where he took refuge closing the door behind him and locking it manually. He knew that it wouldn't stop Mr. Potter from coming in as it was rather simple for the man to unlock the door but it was a gut reaction.

He then made his way into the bathroom connected to his bedroom and locked that door behind him as well. He was breathing heavily, big fat tears making their way down his cheeks; one hand went back to his bum to rub once more at the sting that still resided there.

Daily, the house elf that had practically raised him had used that same hex many times on him when he was being particularly naughty and she wanted to keep him from getting into trouble with his parents. She thought him having a slightly stinging bottom was better than him continuing the bad behavior and attracting the attention of his parents.

The house elf knew if that happened, her young charge would be getting far more than a slightly stinging bum and she wished that not to happen, she was rather protective of him. Thus he knew from experience that it would sting for a while yet to come. However he was sure it was nothing compared to what Mr. Potter would do once he found him.

He caught his reflection in the large mirror above the sink and growled, making a fist he punched the jaw of his reflection hard. The mirror shattered, a million pieces of shiny, reflective glass rained down on his hand, cutting his knuckles with their sharp edges.

He let out a small growl, picked up one of the larger shards and clutched it tightly in his fists letting the edges dig into his palm. He felt it break the skin in many different places, a large amount of blood pooling within his hand and dripping down, but he didn't let go of the shard of glass, concentrating on the tangible physical pain to distract from the throb in his chest.

Harold Potter, having made short order of unlocking the doors, entered the room, his wand in his hand.

Sirius cringed and whimpered, cowering back he screwed his eyes shut preparing himself. He knew Mr. Potter would curse him till kingdom come now. Not that he didn't deserve it, he knew he did, but that didn't make it any less scary. Mr. Potter was a more powerful wizard then either of his parents, so Sirius knew what ever curse he used would hurt all the worse than when his mum or dad used it.

Harold realized his mistake the moment he caught sight of the frightened boy and he felt his heart clench in his chest.

He had not intended to scare Sirius – he only wanted to counter the stinging hex the house elf had cast, since he too knew from childhood experience that Sirius was looking forward to feeling the sting for the rest of the day if he didn't.

Taking in the sight before him, the blood and the broken mirror told him he had more to worry about than a simple hex, though. He stared at the cowering boy for a long second before he gently approached, much as one would approach a wounded and scared animal.

Sirius nearly panicked, but instead of pain coursing through his body, the sting in his backside suddenly disappeared. Then large hands closed over his own blood-coated one, prying the clutched fists open and taking the glass from him.

Harold frowned taking in the deep gashes in the tender flesh of the boys palm; the myriad of cuts on the child's knuckles had not escaped his notice either. He needed to heal these cuts and fast as the ones on his palm were rather deep and bleeding copiously, but before he could do that he had to get Sirius to calm down. He was no healer, and he needed to be as precise and accurate as possible in order not to cause more damage instead of healing. He could not do that if the child was panicking.

"It's alright, son. Come now. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Can you calm for me please?" He soothed, placing his wand on the ground were Sirius could keep an eye on it. Harold reached the hand, now wand-free, his other hand still holding the wounded appendage, out slowly to stroke the boy's hair gently.

Sirius calmed a bit, taking in deep hitched breaths.

"Good, good boy, now, I am going to pick my wand up again and I am going to cast a healing spell to stop the bleeding. I promise it will just be a healing spell, okay?" He asked, wanting to let Sirius know exactly what he was going to do as to not scare him further, his hand continuing to stroke the boy's head.

Sirius gave a small nod and Harold moved his hand from the child's head and reached slowly for his wand. He went about fixing Sirius up to the best of his abilities talking him through it step by step, telling him everything he was going to do before he did it.

A spell to close the wounds, some ointment and bandages, and a cleaning spell, those were all that were used on him. Not a single curse or hex, much to Sirius' surprise.

With the diminishing of the physical pain, the pain inside became more pronounced and he could not hold back his sobs any longer. He would have preferred to be alone, but Mr. Potter was not going anywhere, and a hand pulled his head against the soft fabric of Mr. Potter's robes.

"Let it out, Sirius," the voice that had been so stern over the past weeks was gentle and kind, full of concern. Sirius hardly dared believe that this was for him – hadn't they conveyed to him over and over that he had been a bully, someone that had to be kept away from others? Why else was he not allowed to go back to school, and why else would they keep even James away from him?

Nothing could stop the tears now, and he hid his head against Mr. Potter's chest, sobbing out apologies.

"Shhh, son," Mr. Potter patted his back, "I am so sorry you had to hear that. I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. Your parents are idiots for not realizing what a treasure they had in you."

Sirius snorted. "I'm the worst person in the world. That's why I'm here, because I'm terrible." That is what he had been told and it was true. Why else would he be suspended, cut off from everyone else?

"Sirius," Mr. Potter forced his chin up, "you did something terrible, that is true, but you are not terrible. You are not beyond help, either. That is why we try so hard for you. If we truly believed you were a terrible, hopeless boy we wouldn't have bothered getting you a therapist, would we?"

Well, there was no arguing with that logic. But Sirius was not reassured.

"What if I don't get better? Will you send me to Azkaban then?" he asked a note of terror in his voice. He had heard tales of Azkaban and it was not a place he ever wanted to end up. But what else was there if he could not be helped? If he was so dangerous and terrible wasn't that were he belonged? He let out an audible whimper at the thought.

Mr. Potter pulled him close again. "Of course not. You are our son now, and we will always look after you, no matter what. It won't come to that, though, Sirius. I know you are strong, and I know you are a good boy. You will get through this and emerge a better person. As a man who can be proud of himself."

He took one of the damaged hands in his own. "As for this," he stroked the unharmed portion of the back of the hand with his thumb, "you are going to have a talk with the doctor. I am going to Floo him in a moment."

"Can't…" Sirius rubbed his backside, even though the sting had been dispelled, "Made a mess…" he whimpered in shame "chores to do…"

"No," the older man shook his head, "your chores are being done for you today."

Sirius looked up in confusion, and Mr. Potter explained that the elf would be doing his chores as an apology.

"Besides, right now I think it is much more important that you talk to your doctor then finish today's chores. You have tonight off, as well. James has, too, since he finally decided to get his act together and do his work. If you feel up to it, you and James can have dinner with us tonight, and play a game afterwards."

Sirius seemed to perk a little at that prospect, although the haunted, pained look in his eyes remained. He wanted nothing more than to spend some time with James, not to mention that he had absolutely no recreational fun in weeks, but it seemed meager compensation for the fact that he was unwanted.

Mr. Potter, not wanting to leave the boy alone, asked a house elf to call the Psychiatric Wizard and tell him they had an emergency on their hands.

He led the child back into his room and over to his bed.

Sirius, exhausted with the emotions and pain, had laid down on his bed and slowly nodded off, Mr. Potter taking the chair by his bed to watch over him.

OoOoOo

Sirius stared at his bed spread, head hung. When he had woken after his nap, his therapist had replaced Mr. Potter on the chair next to his bed. Assuming he was in major trouble for cutting up his hands – cutting yourself up was something therapists frown upon, right? – he sat up and waited for the inevitable chewing-out.

The man sighed inwardly at the sight. The moment the child had woken and seen him sitting there instead of Mr. Potter he had literally shrunken in on himself. Sitting up Sirius had curled his legs up beneath himself and let his head hang down, staring off at some invisible thing on the bed in front of him, his upper body supported by a pile of pillows jammed up against the headboard.

Honestly, he had feared something like this might happen, but he had hoped Sirius would trust him enough by now to realize he would not scold him.

Fitzwillam Osgatharp was no stranger to dealing with troubled youths. The sheer amount of lethal power available to wizarding children at a very young age meant things could easily get out of hand.

Abuse wasn't all that uncommon either – he encountered it far too often for his liking. Purebloods with their Squib children, but also Muggle born teens whose parents weren't very accepting of the fact that their offspring was magical were all were part of his practice.

However, the abuse was rarely as blatant as in this case and now the child had been completely rejected by his family. Combined with the punishments for what happened to the Snape boy, Sirius felt completely worthless.

While Sirius slept, Dr Osgatharp had considered his options. The entire affair at Hogwarts, Sirius's crimes against the other boy, that would all have to wait for now. The behavior Sirius had displayed there was symptomatic mostly of the treatment he had received himself, if they tackled the cause, the child's conditioning and subsequent lack of self-worth, the symptoms would dissipate. While his bullying needed addressing in the future, for now he needed to help the boy gain some self-worth. The important thing now was that Sirius was learning his parents were wrong for how they had treated him and thus he was wrong for how he had in turn treated the Snape child.

It was a good thing the Potters were ready and willing to take Sirius in. They were concerned for him and had made it clear that the teen would remain in their care, no matter what. It could make all the difference to Sirius to have people like that.

"Sirius," he started gently.

The boy tensed in anticipation of a lecture. He curled in on himself a little more preparing for the screaming and yelling he was sure was to come. He hated screaming and yelling!

Fitzwilliam reached out and took both hands in his own, careful with the still fresh wounds.

"I am so sorry for you, Sirius," he said sincerely, "you must feel so hurt."

That got the teen's attention. The dark head very slowly lifted from its hanging position, and grey eyes peered at him through black locks of hair. Fitzwillam simply kept a kind and gentle smile on his face, making sure Sirius knew he was not angry or disappointed, that he was instead simply concerned.

Finally Sirius seemed to realize that, and a single tear made its way down his face.

"I…I know….always knew… they don't…love me," he managed, his voice tight, "I d-don't mind…really. They are…Dark…bad…" he stammered though the hitch in his voice told that he lied, that he did in fact care very much that his parents didn't love him or want him.

Then a bitter smile trespassed on the handsome face. "I must be really terrible…" He took a deep fortifying breath to be able to continue "that people as bad as them don't…don't w-want me."

Dr. Osgatharp frowned when Sirius managed to push back the tears and get himself under control. That would never do. The rejection had hurt, and those emotions needed out. Bottling them up now would only serve to hurt the child more in the time to come.

"It is alright to be hurt, Sirius. They are your parents. All children want their parents to love them. It is entirely natural, just as it is entirely natural that you feel awful hearing such a horrible thing from your own mother. It is alright to cry."

Sirius looked up at the man his bottom lip trembling. "Were." He corrected "Were my parents." He managed to get out before he took his Doctors words to heart and abandoned all pretence of trying to be reasonable and unaffected and instead let free the tears that were choking him.

Loud body wracking sobs emitted from the boy as he lost all control of his overwhelming grief. He cried helplessly for long minutes, and the therapist let him, holding his hands waiting quietly until Sirius calmed a little.

"I don't understand…why Mr. Potter bothered to take me," Sirius finally muttered.

"The Potters care about you," Dr Osgatharp leaned back, gauging Sirius's reaction.

"No," the boy shook his head, "they can't."

"Whether you believe it or not, Sirius, they do. You are not alone. The Potters will help you, I will help you."

"You get paid to help me," Sirius sneered, "that doesn't count."

Dr. Osgatharp frowned a bit, though the comment wasn't completely unexpected nor was it the first time he had ever heard it. Nor would it be the last and thus he wasn't fazed by it in the least though he fixed Sirius with a look that told him he disapproved of the sentiment. Not a look that was overly chastising simply a stern displeased one that showed he cared too much to allow the boy to think he did so simply because there was money involved. True, it was his job but that didn't preclude him from caring, in fact he could not do what he did no matter how much money was involved if he didn't care.

Sirius squirmed a bit under the disapproving gaze and rubbed his sore head with his equally sore hand. "I'm sorry… I – I guess I always knew inside how my parents felt about me, it just hurt to actually hear."

Dr. Osgatharp, pleased that Sirius finally initiated a conversation, leaned forward a little and offered a small encouraging smile. In his most un-pressing tone, he probed a little further. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

OoOoOo

After a draining discussion about the happenings in his childhood home accompanied by a copious amount of tears and sobs, Sirius had been left for another short nap.

Dr Osgatharp wandered into Harold Potters study.

"How is he?" the owner of said study immediately stood up in concern.

"He is doing fairly well, considering the circumstances," the other wizard smiled slightly, "we had a long, draining talk and now he is resting."

"Ah. What medication does he need? I will get it from the best brewers…"

"Medication?" Fitzwilliam shook his head, "Harold, the boy does not need medication."

"No?" Mr. Potter said in surprise, "but, his hands…he was so upset…"

Doctor Osgatharp practically rolled his eyes. "Of course he was upset! The boy heard his mother say she does not love him. He has basically just lost his entire family. His hands – that was an attempt to keep all the feelings inside, to hide them even from himself. To do the very same thing he attempted with medication, would not solve anything."

He looked pensive.

"Grieving is a normal, healthy way of our minds to deal with loss. That process in and of itself does not need aid normally. Time will sort it out. Sirius has many issues and he does need help, but suppressing his emotions is dangerous. That is exactly what his parents have been doing through their conditioning – suppressing emotions. If he cannot, in time, work out his feelings on his own, antidepressants might become an option. I am going to leave a prescription for a mild calming draught you can give him occasionally, but only when his upset is causing him to neglect basic things like eating and sleeping. Then an occasional dose could help him."

The Doctor paused briefly.

"We have spoken about this incident of self-harm. I am reluctant to react too strongly to it, since it appears it was a one-time event. It started out as simply releasing his emotions. When I asked him about it, he admitted that it was a stupid thing to do, that it helped only briefly but eventually would only cause him more damage. We discussed several better options to release his emotions, and I am hopeful that he will not repeat the behaviour. Should I be mistaken, we can take further action, since we do not want this to become a habit. In that case he will need closer supervision and further counseling."

Dr Osgatharp took a deep breath. "Which brings me to my second point. I realize he and James are being punished, but you must remember that despite their wrongdoings, they are still children in need of love and understanding. Especially now when their punishment is so severe, they need to know that they are still loved. I understand why you want them to keep them apart, but I fear under the circumstances it is counterproductive."

At Harold's questioning glance he explained, "You have them eating all their meals in their rooms with little actual interaction with you. Even James, who has grown up loved and cherised can become depressed due to feeling unwanted. He might feel as if you are irrevocably angry with him and your disappointment is permanent, to the point where you do not even wish to be near him."

"You are their parent, Harold, but in my opinion, it is time to ease up on them a little. They deserve their punishment, without a doubt, but they both need reassurance now. Perhaps you could let them eat meals with you again, as a family. Possibly rewarding good behaviour with time together is a good idea as well. It would show them that while they are still being punished, they are on their way to being forgiven. It will also give them some perspective – that they can work towards something, towards paying for their sins in full and putting it behind them," the Doctor said taking the seat Harold offered to him.

"How is James doing? I am afraid with all the drama surrounding Sirius he has gotten a bit lost in the fray." Harold asked.

"James, James is one very confused young man. He was taught at home growing up that bullying wasn't allowed but once entering school he, like all children his age wanted friends and gave into peer pressure. He followed Sirius' lead because Sirius is his best friend and Sirius was simply doing what he had been taught to do at home. Though James knew what he did was wrong and something you would not condone, he got positive reinforcement from the headmaster. Mr. Dumbledore was basically telling them what they were doing was not only acceptable but that it was the way in which the Headmaster wanted them to behave."

The therapist shook his head at the thought of a man this ignorant teaching children. "This fed into Sirius's belief that bullying others was the right way to behave – in many ways, the Headmaster was simply a kinder version of his parents to him. And it told James that the way to get the Headmasters approval was to be a bully. Like all children he wants approval from the adults around them. Since you were never informed and therefore never chastised him for it he thought it was not only acceptable but the right thing to be doing. You were the only person who could have stopped his behaviour, since he wants your approval most, but to those children at boarding school, the approval of their Headmaster is the next most important thing. Now that you all have come down so hard on him he feels betrayed by the Headmaster and angry at you for punishing him so severely. Partially he knew that this is what he could expect from you for this behavior, but he also feels angry. To him, he is being punished for a completely normal pattern of behavior. In a way he is even somewhat correct in that." The Doctor explained.

"I can understand that he was confused, though certainly not all Gryffindors became bullies, despite the Headmasters favoritism! The Headmaster has done harm to more children than just the Snape child with this. But after we explained to James that what he did was wrong, he still maintained that it wasn't them and that they shouldn't be punished because the Snape boy decided to try and off himself. He makes it sound as if it was the child's fault this all happened. James is taking no responsibility," Harold said exasperation evident in his voice.

"Ah yes that. First of all, Harold, how many adults take responsibility for their wrongdoings? Yet we expect it from fifteen year olds. I have spoken to James at length, of course, and we have touched upon that as well. James is hiding behind that excuse. He is trying to blame Severus so that he can stop himself from feeling all the guilt of what he put the child through. As I said, deep down he knew what he did was wrong and that you would never approve. He is trying to quiet his conscience by insisting it wasn't his fault. After all, if it wasn't his fault what would he have to feel guilty about?"

Hearing Harold's growl of despair and frustration, he continued. "Remember, Harold. He has had four years to convince himself, so it will take time to undo it. But we will. By being adamant enough about it not being his fault, somewhere deep in his mind he half-started to believe it, and the events of the past month shook that up. He isn't trying to convince you, he is trying to convince himself. We are starting to work through it, but it will take some time before he is finally willing to take responsibility for all of this and deal with his guilt that taking the responsibility brings. " Fitzwilliam explained, "it will get worse before it gets better, Harold. James simply cannot just let go of what he has forced himself to believe."

After talking about the boys a bit more Fitzwilliam handed Harold Sirius' prescription and headed for the Floo while Mr. Potter, having seen the Doctor out, went in search of his wife.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply barrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Again I am reminding everyone this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!!

OoOoOo

As he was escorted to the Shrieking Shack, by the Headmaster himself this time, and locked in, Remus shivered. He gave the headmaster a terrified, almost pleading look that either went unnoticed or simply unacknowledged as the man left him alone.

After stripping, he sat on the bed and pulled the tattered blanket around him. He was cold and scared and alone again. His pack was gone.

Before the moon even rose the wolf was howling inside him in grief.

When the change finally did come, Moony howled and howled, the loss making the wolf even more insane as the irrational beast sought to deal with its loss. It wanted to leave to roam in freedom as it had become accustomed to, when he had his pack. His confinement was making the loss of his pack even worse. It wanted to bust free and find his pack. It wanted to kill whoever took his pack. It wanted BLOOD.

But there was no way out. The Headmaster had taken great care to close the Shack properly, knowing the wolf would be more vicious than usual. Sure the man had done wonders at protecting everyone else from the monster but he never thought to do anything to protect Remus from it.

The monster clawed at the door, banged the walls, tossing itself bodily at them. There was a sickening thud of bones hitting solid surfaces with shattering strength that echoed through the room, but the spells held, and the Shack stood firm.

Angry at its inability to gain the freedom it was usually granted by his pack, unable to go and search for said pack, the wolf started to claw at itself in frustration, howling melancholy, maudlin at the moon.

When the morning came and the moon finally set, Remus woke up battered and bruised, with wounds all over his body. He had never been this badly off after the moon, not even before Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail started to keep him company. Canine teeth marks clearly showed up on his arms and legs, he had deep gashes on his chest, and though he could not see them he could tell by the blood trickling down his cheeks that they were on his face as well, and his head was scratched from trying to bash through the door. All of that in addition to the fact that the transformation had been harder on his body this time as well. Though he had regained some of the weight he had lost, he was still not fully healthy and because of that the turn back and forth from the wolf had done a number on his body in and of itself.

He dressed himself as quickly as possible, hissing a bit in pain as he moved. His bones were creaking and muscles screaming, the fabric scraping painfully over his raw bloody skin. When the Headmaster finally came to release him, he obediently trotted back behind the elderly wizard as quickly as he could back into the castle, the long journey through the dirty tunnel doing nothing to improve how he was feeling.

The walk back took longer than usual as he was in a much worse state. Unlike Madame Pomfrey, who usually half-carried him the entire way, the headmaster offered him no help. They did eventually make it back and after some gentle advice to go to the infirmary, the old man left.

Remus made it as far as the hallway to the infirmary and Lily's rooms before he collapsed into a shuttering bloodied ball.

OoOoOo

Lily had comforted Sev through a nightmare early in the morning, but the toddler had quickly gone back to sleep. She sighed and opened her eyes, seeing it was nearly 8.30 already. She pulled on her dressing gown and walked into the living room where a house elf was setting out breakfast.

A strange noise in the corridor caught her attention, and she carefully opened the door. A heap of black robes, brown hair sticky with blood made her yell in shock.

"REMUS!"

She rushed to his side, taking in the many, many wounds on his face and arms. Every bit of him she saw was covered in blood. It soaked through his shirt, too, so the rest of his body had to be damaged as well. After a quick call to the Elf to watch Severus, she levitated Remus and rushed him to the infirmary and a Madam Pomfrey.

Poppy gasped, though not as shocked as Lily would have expected, she was still horrified by what a mess Remus was. He had never come back into her infirmary quite this bad before and she was almost scared to touch him as the poor boy moaned in pain at the slightest brush.

Lily watched with scared eyes as the medi-witch stripped Remus down to his boxers to clean him off and heal him.

"Please Lily, I have to strip him down the rest of the way to give him a sponge bath, and then I need to work on him for a bit. I don't think he would want you to see this; why don't you go and eat breakfast and come back after," she told the frightened witch, who was staring in wide-eyed horror at all the blood that covered Remus.

Lily nodded mutely and scurried from the room.

Stripping the boy of his blood-soaked boxers, Poppy set about giving him the sponge bath, her own tears mingling with the soapy water as she gently cleaned him. It broke her heart seeing him like this.

She could kill Dumbledore for talking her into letting him take the boy to the shack and pick him up. How dare the man not bring him right to her, how dare he not tend to the boy when he was apparently so wounded!

She felt nearly blinding rage mingle with the sadness she felt, it was a feeling very close to the one she had tending to Severus right after he had tried to kill himself.

When the child was clean she set about healing and dressing his wounds before dressing him in fresh hospital pyjamas and tucking him into bed.

An hour later Lily was back, sitting, dressed and with Severus on her lap, next to Remus' bed.

"He'll be fine, dear," the nurse had assured her, "I've healed the wounds and gave him a blood replenishing potion. He will be weak and shaky for a few more days, but he really will be alright, Lily." Poppy spoke, she was as much trying to reassure herself as the girl.

"But what happened? Who hurt him?" Lily asked, as Sev climbed onto the bed to pat Remus' cheek with a clumsy little hand. Lily couldn't imagine how someone could get into the castle and hurt Remus in such a way. There were wards around the castle to prevent it and if it was a fellow student... Lily shuttered at the thought of any of her classmates doing that to a fellow student. But then again – it had happened before, hadn't it? The little boy she held was proof of that.

The nurse didn't quite meet her eyes. "That is for him to tell. I am sorry," she said before bustling off. Now that Remus was settled with Lily to watch over him she needed to get some things set up for the day to come, as well as arrange for Remus to have his meals and school work brought to him in the hospital wing. She was not going to let him go any time soon.

It was already past noon when Remus finally woke up. Blearily at first, he lifted his arm, noticing the bandages. Apparently he then realized where he was, because he leaned back and relaxed. Lily had left for a few hours to go to class, but she came back during lunch, pleased to find Remus awake. Severus had been happy as well, but had quickly fallen asleep, and was laying on the bed next to Remus for his nap.

"Remus?"

The boy turned to her, and flushed a deep red. "L-Lily, hi," he managed.

"Remus, what happened? Did someone beat you up?" Lily asked in concern.

"I guess you could say that," Remus chuckled darkly. He sunk down a bit more into the bed fighting the urge to pull the blankets over his head.

"Who?!!? I will make sure they are punished, I…"

"No Lily, it's not... you don't need to, its fine." Remus stammered.

Lily's eyes narrowed, oh no that answer would never do, it was NOT alright! If she had not found Remus... he was losing so much blood... Lily shivered.

"Oh no Remus don't you give me that, I want to know who and I want to know who NOW!" she exclaimed.

Remus jumped back a bit.

"Was me." He muttered no louder than a whisper, the wolf in him recognizing Lily as his Alpha now that James and Sirius were gone. He simply could not refuse to answer her when she pulled rank like that and demanded.

"What? What?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Lily please... I'm... I'm a werewolf!" He blurted out.

His eyes widened, but it was too late to take back the admission. Lily's large green eyes settled on his face and Remus shook a bit in fear for her reaction. She would hate him now, she would tell everyone and he would have to leave school.

"Of course," she whispered after a few moments of tensed silence, "of course. I should have known. Missing school every month…Madam Pomfrey not completely surprised at the state you arrived in…"

"Please, Lily, please, dont tell anyone." He begged real fear in his voice.

"Oh...Oh Remus, no never. I promise I will never tell, I'll even state a wizards oath if it would make you feel better," she said fervently.

"No, no you dont have to. I trust you," Remus said a relieved smile crossed his face. He should have known; Lily wasn't like that. She would never tell, she was really a true friend. He just wished he had seen that in her before. He even felt a bit better that she knew and that his secret wasn't between them anymore hindering the friendship they had been fostering.

"How do you survive it if you do this to yourself every month?" Lily asked concerned.

"Well, it was much worse than before, this time," Remus admitted painfully, "but yes – Madam Pomfrey needs to patch me up every month after she comes and gets me."

"James and Sirius knew?"

Remus nodded. "They were…I guess the wolf thought of them as my pack," Remus told her in a small voice.

"With my pack gone…the wolf was very angry."

Lily patted his hand. "Oh, Remus…" She wanted to lean over and hug him but she feared she would hurt him so she settled for gently holding his hand.

He looked at the hand on his own bandaged one. "You – are not disgusted, then?"

"Of course not! It is not your fault. But how…how could James and Sirius be your pack? The wolf doesn't recognize…"

"humans," Remus finished for her, "it…it doesn't. But…but it does accept Animagi."

Lily turned red with rage. "NO! Tell me…of all the stupid, irresponsible things to do! They didn't!"

"Yes…" Remus whispered, "They did. That is why the wolf is so angry now, I guess. They were really my pack, not just human friends."

His sadness calmed Lily a little. "I can't believe it," she muttered, "you must tell the Headmaster or nurse Pomfrey at the least, Remus. But don't worry about me, or little Sev. We won't hold being a werewolf against you, I promise."

She paused. "But why didn't Madam Pomfrey take you to the infirmary directly, Remus? Where do you change?"

Remus winced. "The Shrieking Shack. The Whomping Willow guards the entrance from the grounds. The Headmaster retrieved me this morning and left me to go to the infirmary…I guess I didn't make it that far. Sorry."

The green eyes seemed to shoot sparks, and not the right kind. "HE WHAT?!?!?"

A little quieter, after a look at the sleeping Severus, she added, "He didn't ask if you were hurt? Bring you here himself? Forget it, he didn't even have to ask, it was apparent with one look at you that you were hurt!!"

Remus shrugged. "I guess he didn't realize I was hurt that badly."

"Honestly," Lily scoffed, "doesn't that man EVER learn?"

The injured boy gave her a small grin. "I think Madam Pomfrey stormed out of here earlier to give the Headmaster a piece of her mind when I told her what had happened."

"Oh," Lily smirked, "I'd hate to be the Headmaster right now."

That made them both giggle a little.

OoOoOo

Poppy Pomfrey stormed through the halls of Hogwarts, intent on knocking some sense into the incredibly thick skull of the Headmaster once and for all. Honestly, often she wondered if the man's head wasn't just thick, but solid with all the stupid things he pulled. Then she slowed.

She had chewed out the Headmaster. Lily had, too. Over the years, many people had yelled at the man for a variety of reasons, yet he had never heeded any of them. So what good would one more rant do?

Coming to a complete halt, she narrowed her eyes. The man's faults seemed quite consistent – an inability to see what other people were going through. Only seeing what he wanted to see. Not understanding the reactions of other people. Yet, once he had realized what had happened to Severus, he had shown remorse. Perhaps they had been wrong about him? Perhaps what he needed were not rants?

She turned around, a determined gleam in her eyes. She knew what she had to do, now. Behind her, perched on top of a gargoyle, a fiery bird watched her in satisfaction.

OoOoOo

Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk when his nurse came in. He sighed and prepared for another rant – whatever it was she thought he had done this time.

But her face did not show anger. It was calm and collected, if serious.

"Headmaster," she nodded, "I have treated Remus Lupin. He will be staying in the hospital wing for some time."

The Headmaster raised an eyebrow. "He will?"

"He had broken bones, massive bruising, cuts and bites all over him. He has lost a dangerous amount of blood. The change has also been extremely hard on him this time – his organs have suffered. I have put him on a potions regime to strengthen them again. He is doing well now, but he will need time to recover."

The old man stared at her. "I had no idea he was that badly off when I retrieved him. I did send him to the infirmary…"

"He didn't quite make it that far," Poppy neutrally reported, "he collapsed in the hallway. Miss Evans found him and brought him to me."

"Oh…oh…" the ancient wizard leaned back into his chair, "well, of course he is excused from classes…"

The nurse waved her hand. "That has all been arranged. Minerva understood completely. That is not why I am here."

Great. Now the rant would come. Dumbledore braced himself.

"I am here to inform you that I have entered you in two evening classes at the Muggle University. One on psychology, and one class specifically created for school administrators, which teaches how to set up behaviour protocols, amongst others. Here is your schedule. I will pick you up for your first class this evening. I will bring paper and pens, since quill and parchments would be inappropriate."

"My dear woman, I cannot possibly…." Dumbledore started.

"I did not ask you a question, Headmaster. I told you what you were going to do. Of course, I could also contact the Lupins and the Potters…"

The Headmaster frowned. The Lupins would not be happy at all, of course, and the Potters were very influential. If they wanted him gone from the school, with the backup of the nurse and the evidence of the events of the past weeks, he would certainly lose his job, war hero or no.

"That is settled then," Poppy correctly interpreted his silence, "See you at seven."

OoOoOo

Over the twenty-one years he had counselled werewolves, Connor Conall had seen many things. First, of course, there were the newly bitten weres, who still were in full grieving mode over the life they had lost. They also were still working on the trauma of facing a werewolf – obviously to become a werewolf; one had to come face to face, and even closer, with one.

Then there were the weres the Ministry sent to him. They had been arrested by the Aurors, but could not be charged of any crime. The werewolves that HAD committed crimes never made it to his office – they were killed by the Ministry outright. That grieved him deeply, because he knew many of them had not wanted to become criminals. The biased attitude of the Ministry towards werewolves had driven them to poverty and despair, though he had to admit some werewolves were simply homicidal maniacs who would do anything to kill. Fortunately those were few.

Dr Conall was only too aware that he was one of a lucky few; a werewolf holding his own in this impossible society.

Remus Lupin was a different category altogether. Bitten at a very young age, far younger than most, he was also the only one to attend Hogwarts. Dr Conall himself had been bitten as a teen, when he had just passed his OWLs. Going on to take his NEWTs independently after being asked to leave school, he had managed to finish his education. He had gotten his degree in the Muggle world.

Remus was one of the few who'd had to live with his condition through childhood and teen years completely, and despite his parent's support, that had an impact. The boy apparently had a good heart – from what Connor had heard, he was truly kind to the Snape child. But throughout his sessions with Remus, he also got the distinct impression that Remus was rather weak-willed. He would defer to the strongest person around. A completely understandable survival instinct, one which was encouraged highly by the wolf inside of him, but not an attitude that was commendable in a human. And they were, of course, human most of the time.

With the removal of his friends who had, in many ways, become his alphas, Remus was at a loss. The wolf recognized that Lily was calling the shots now, and automatically transferred the submissive behaviour to her.

The therapist sighed. There was so much ignorance in the Wizarding World, even among those who meant well, regarding werewolves. John Lupin, Remus' father, had told him he wanted his son to become a strong man, and was disappointed when he heard what had happened. The man had the best of intentions for his son – unlike Connor's parents who threw him out after he was bitten – but he did not understand that no one had taught Remus control.

Remus was a cub. A cub, whose instincts always forced him to submit. He had a personality that was not a natural alpha. He had been bitten early in life and thus his personality had not had a chance to form fully on its own without the influence of the stigma. Most people who had the misfortune of being infected with lycanthropy were bitten long after the human personality had formed and taken route in them. Thus the wolf had little effect on their personality unless they allowed it. The stigma did not stunt their psyche's development as it was already fully formed. The wolf did little to change said personality - save for the full moon - as the human personality was normally significantly strong enough to stand out against the wolf. With Remus his psyche and the wolf had formed together at the same time. He had been bitten at such a tender age that the wolf affected his complete emotional development in a way most werewolves were not. The Doctor would have his work cut out for him helping Remus allow his human part to reform his psyche the right way without an influence of the wolf.

How Remus' personality would have been no one could say for sure; but chances were he would have been far more self assured and much less, well, beta, if he had not been bitten at such a young age. John Lupin, on the other hand, had a strong personality. As long as Remus lived at home, the wolf had recognized his father as his alpha and did not need to seek out another, or become one himself. Then he had gone to school. He had still been a cub who suddenly lacked that alpha presence. It sought out and located the strongest of the new 'litter' he was thrown into and deferred to them.

That was the wolf part. And then there was also the human's very real fear that he would be lonely and shunned if the truth was discovered. A boy, on his own, with a huge secret, and wolf instincts that led him to continually search for alpha's – it had been a disaster waiting to happen.

Remus, sitting in the chair opposite the therapist, squirmed a little. He did not like these long silences. The man in front of him was a dominant one, he recognized that, and everything in him screamed that he had to listen to the man. At the same time he feared him.

It wasn't all instincts. Remus truly was an intelligent boy, and he had many defence mechanisms lined up. And none of them worked on this man.

"Have you ever read a book on lycanthropy, Remus?" Connor asked.

"No, Sir. I've searched the library, but I found little besides the entry in Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them," the boy replied dutifully.

"Not surprising. Very little has been written, aside from the usual much the Ministry publishes. Outside Britain, however, people have done a few more studies."

He leaned forward. "There are two main views on Lycanthropy. The first is that a werewolf is not a disease, but an entirely different species altogether. Being a werewolf isn't good or bad, it just is. It is a natural condition. The wolf has as many rights as the human, and should be treated as such. There are several treatment centres that work on this assumption, and I must say that they've been fairly successful."

Remus frowned. "I can't be a different species. I was born human, my parents are humans. I became a werewolf because one attacked and bit me."

Dr Conall nodded. "I personally don't quite agree either, although they make some fair points. It is, after all, a condition that we will never be rid off, so some acceptance is important. The second view is the one which also has its points and merits. That is that lycanthropy is a disease that mimics the behaviour of a wolf. Both views have different theories about whether or not the wolf is natural or not; I personally think since we were not born that way it is not natural for us to be this way. I know we would both jump at a chance for a cure should one come along, that alone lets us know this is not the way we should be. Either way it is agreed that it cannot be cured, so we will have to learn to live with the wolf. However, it is our human form that is natural most impotent as we are humans most of the time and must function in the human world. Thus we must strive to control the wolf as much as we can. It influences us even in human form, but with practice and dedication we can overcome that, even learn to control the wolf at the full moon to some small extend. Enough to change it from a vicious people-killer to a more 'normal' wolf."

Now Remus was interested. "I can learn to control the wolf?"

"It takes practice," his therapist allowed, "and you have other issues that need dealing with, as well. Not all of your behaviour can be blamed on the wolf, can it?"

Remus fidgeted. "My friends were like my pack," he muttered.

"Yes, they were. Did you question what they did? Or have you thought up some of the pranks to play on your year mate yourself?"

The boy looked up, tears in his eyes. "I was afraid they would not like me if I didn't…"

As much as Dr Conall sympathised with the boy's plight, he felt that this was not the time to mince words. This was not the first time Remus had used this argument to defend his action or inaction, as if he was not to blame for anything.

"Out," he said in a clipped tone pointing towards the door.

Remus' eyes widened. "What?"

"Out. This session is over. You are still playing the victim, Mr Lupin, pretending you had no choice. The victim here was Severus Snape, and you bear some guilt in what happened to him. Until you are ready to acknowledge that and drop your 'sad little werewolf' act, we have nothing to talk about."

Five seconds later, a completely confused and bewildered Remus stood on the other side of the door, wondering what on earth had just happened.

OoOoOo

"DR CONALL!!!"

The angry voice of a man and the calming, deep voice of his secretary broke Connor Conall from his quiet musings.

"Dr Conall? John Lupin is here to see you, and he is rather…insistent," his secretary let him know.

"Ah. Yes, do let him in, please."

John Lupin stormed into the office. "You kicked out my son!" he raged, "You are supposed to help him!"

Connor pointed to a chair. "Please, sit down."

John did not seem inclined to do so, but realized that throttling the therapist that had the best chance of helping his son would be counterproductive, so eventually he did sit.

"I told your son that his session was over, and he could come back when he was ready to stop playing the victim," he said quietly, "Mr Lupin, I know you want your son to be a strong, capable young man."

"Of course," the other man nodded, wary but at least not fuming anymore.

"Your son has several problems. Part of them stem from his lycanthropy. He is also a very intelligent young man, Mr Lupin, who has dealt with what life threw at him in various ways. He has developed several defence mechanisms that are decidedly unhelpful, but have helped him cope so far. Encouraging pity and sympathy from others is one of them. He has a tendency to stay low, be a model student and allow blame for his mistakes and bad choices to be placed on his plight as a werewolf, avoiding a lot of consequences. That is why I sent him away earlier. He has been trying the same here in every session, and I felt a harsher wake-up call was required to break that behaviour."

John Lupin nodded, calmed, now. "So you do not plan to stop treating him?"

"Not at all," Connor reassured him. "My plan for him is two-fold. Remus needs to gain an independence that does not rely on his tendency to pick alphas for his wolf. Right now, he is guided by whomever he sees as his alpha. When he lived at home, that was you. When he went to Hogwarts, his friends became his alpha. Right now, I believe he has transferred it to Miss Evans, which is a far better choice, but eventually he should learn to think for himself and not follow instincts."

John had paled. "Remus is submissive? That is why he has no backbone?"

"In a way. He has never learned to recognize the behaviour patterns of the wolf that leak into his human mind and resist them. That is what I am going to teach him. I will also teach him Occlumency, to make his mind stronger and allow him to stay in control of the wolf, and even learn to guide the beast on the full moon. But that will take time, and brings me to the second part of the therapy. Remus, for the time being, needs an alpha wolf who will encourage independence, to allow him to focus on only one alpha instead of constantly seeking out new ones. He is, after all, only a cub. It is not good for him to transform alone. Cubs need to be trained."

"I…" John cleared his throat. "I always thought I was doing right by my son…and now you tell me I was demanding things from him that he is unable to do?"

"Partly. You are in a unique position, Mr Lupin. Few people have ever had to raise a werewolf child. You did well, considering the circumstances you found yourself in, but there is no denying that Remus has special needs. Fortunately, he is still quite young. Be sure, Mr Lupin, that you do not condone his playing the victim."

"As a human, Remus needs to learn, over time, to become Alpha to his own wolf. That will take time and training, but it can be done. That way, he will still feel the instincts of the wolf, but he will be able to guide them. He will probably always have a tendency to defer to people he respects, but once the wolf is under control, he will be able to make rational decisions and remain critical about the actions of those people. As for the temporary Alpha he needs, I volunteer myself. Since I am already his therapist as a human and have considerable control over my own wolf, it would be a logical choice. However, it is up to you."

Mr Lupin wiped his face. "This…it is a lot to take in," he admitted, "I think you are correct, though. I will discuss this with my wife and be in contact with you. And I apologise for the way I barged in just now."

Connor Conall smiled, a friendly smile despite the slightly longer, pointed canine teeth. "Quite alright, Mr Lupin. I completely understand."

Shaking hands they parted ways, Mr Lupin leaving the office and Dr. Conall heading back to his desk to make some notes in Remus' file.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own them I simply barrow them to play with, I didn't ask but I'm sure JK won't miss them, she doesn't play with these ones anymore. I make no money from this so please, no suing the poor college student!

A/N: Again I am reminding everyone this is now being co authored with Laume, she is awesome and a great writing partner!!

OoOoOo

Lily walked into the infirmary for one of Severus's check-ups. It had been a little over three weeks since he had been de aged and Christmas Holidays were starting in a few days.

Remus was going home the first day of Hols and Lily was going to join him at his parents' vacation place a few days after that.

That way Remus could have some alone time with his parents, Severus could spend some extra time with Poppy and Remus would still be able to help Lily take care of Sev during the vacation.

Besides, it would be nice for them to spend Christmas with Remus and his family seeing as Lily could not go home, though she would be meeting her mum and maybe her dad for lunch at least once when she planned on taking Sev into the muggle world.

However, her main reason for not going home was that she didn't want to subject Sev to her sister who hated the boy enough as a teen. It was bad enough she would have to subject the little one to her sister over the summer, but that was still months away and she hoped by that time Sev would heal enough that Petunia and her spiteful nastiness would not hit him as hard or do as much harm.

Besides, Petunia spent 6 weeks out of the summer away at sleep away camp. If worst came to worst Lily would stay with Remus during the few weeks at the beginning and end of the summer when she was home if Petunia could not be decent to Sev.

Poppy was waiting for them and smiled at the toddler sweetly. This was another one of the many examinations that little Sev had to put up with, though he didn't mind much. He loved his Nana and the chocolate frogs were really compensation enough for having to sit still and let her look him over as long as there were no needles involved. If there were needles involved there needed to be an extensive cuddle session and maybe a new potion for his play set.

Poppy insisted on the check-ups, and considering what he had been through, Lily was glad the nurse kept such a close eye on the boy. Of course, she thought to herself with a grin, Madam Pomfrey doted on the boy and would not rest easy until she had assured herself he was doing fine.

It suited Lily very well. At times the responsibility of taking care of this very needy two-year-old weight heavily on her shoulders, and she had to remind herself that she herself was not even sixteen yet.

Fortunately, Madam Pomfrey, Remus and even Professor Slughorn were a huge help. Headmaster Dumbledore made sure they had everything needed and more.

The moment Lily mentioned Molly's camera and showed him the pictures taken that day, he had one delivered to her rooms within the hour. She had not even had time to ask him. She knew that it hurt the old man deeply that Severus was still so frightened of him, though it seemed to be getting a little better.

"Nana Poppy!" Severus ran into the Nurse's arms for a long swinging hug.

"Hello, darling," the woman cuddled him, "how is my favourite toddler today?"

"Swing!" he told her excitedly, "Lily gived Sev swing!"

"Lily gave you a swing? How wonderful!" the nurse exclaimed. She was thrilled that the shy toddler had begun to open up more. He was becoming far more likely to offer up information and titter on about everything that went on during his days much like a normal toddler should.

"Professor Dumbledore saw it in Hogsmeade and had it delivered. Sev thinks I gave it to him since I installed it in our rooms. It works great, doesn't it, Sev?"

The boy nodded and scavenged through Nana's pockets for the chocolate frog he knew was usually there.

"Ah, ah," Nana Poppy chided, "no stealing. What do you say?" She had to fight to keep back a grin. Despite the fact that it was bad form for the little one to be going through her pockets, she was thrilled that he was acting like a child should. A mere week ago he was too scared to even accept offered candy let alone go looking for it like that, so this was a marked improvement.

Sev pouted a little. "May Sev 'af choclat, Nana?"

"That is better. And you know the rule – good little boys like Severus ALWAYS get chocolate after an examination." She smiled at him indulgently taking in the small pout. Another marked improvement in the child's behaviour. There was a time only days ago that even a hint of disapproval from those around him would have the child cowering, afraid of being hit and he never would have dared to pout. At least with her and Lily, he was acting a little more like a normal toddler.

Severus shyly hid his head against her apron. Poppy told him this very often, but Severus still could not quite believe that he was a good boy.

"Now, up you go," she lifted him to sit on a bed, "have you been eating your vegetables?"

Severus nodded fervently and Lily smiled. "He likes carrots a lot," she commented, "and peas. He's not very fond of cauliflower."

Severus wrinkled his nose at the mention of the detested vegetable as if to confirm Lily's claim of his dislike.

The first and only time he had been faced with the icky vegetable he had tried to choke it down, thinking he would be in big trouble for daring to dislike any sort of food he was lucky enough to be given. But then Lily had seen him struggling with the white tree like vegetation, saw the tears in his eyes and heard the little whimpers he couldn't help but make as he tried to force the food, which was so icky and gross it was making his tummy hurt, down...

_Severus choked on the little white floret that he had managed to stab with his fork and get into his mouth. It was a small little piece from the tiny pile of identical vegetable that had been placed on his plate that evening for dinner along with the cut up grilled chicken and mashed potatoes that Severus had not even touched yet; he always preferred to eat his vegetables first. Lily often sent him amused and slightly bewildered looks – she was definitely not used to toddlers who ate their greens with no complaint! _

_Severus had gradually become used to having three meals a day and even getting snacks in-between and dessert at night. It was more than he had even ever wished for and he wasn't stupid enough to think that it could not be taken away again if he wasn't appreciative. Not liking what he had been lucky enough to be given would qualify as not being appreciative. _

_Lily had been nothing but nice to him but he didn't want to make her mad. How dare he not like something she had been nice enough to give him anyway? What right did he have to dislike anything when he had been without for so long and could so easily be without again?_

_He took a second piece into his mouth and tried to chew it as little as possible and swallow it as fast as he could thus having it in his mouth for as little time as he could manage. He didn't realize he was making faces or that he was letting out little whimpers. Not that he could have helped even if he had been mindful of it - the vegetable was just so icky and it made his tummy hurt bad._

_Hearing the little whimpers coming from the child in his high chair, who had insisted on trying to eat this meal all on his own like a big boy just like he had seen Billy do, Lily looked up from her own meal and up at Sev whose nose was scrunched up, brow furrowed as he chewed._

"_What is wrong Sev?" She asked. It was apparent the toddler didn't like the cauliflower yet was forcing it down anyway. She had never met a toddler who would eat a vegetable they didn't like even if a parent tried to force it down their throats, let alone a toddler eating a vegetable they didn't like all on their own without even a complaint, it was worrisome! Though with Severus she supposed behaviour like this was to be expected. _

_Severus looked up, startled tears forming in his eyes. Oh no, oh no he could not tell her he didn't like it but he couldn't lie either, she would be so mad... Faced with such a dilemma, large tears started rolling down his cheeks and he started to cry around the cauliflower in his mouth._

"_Severus?" She asked concerned, while she wasn't really surprised he had not made a stink about not liking the vegetable, this reaction was not expected._

"_Is.... is ucky." He finally got up the courage to say through his tears and still full mouth, one little finger pointing to the small pile of cauliflower still left on his plate._

"_Oh Sev." Lily said sadly. Holding up a napkin to the child's still full mouth she said "Spit" and Severus gladly spit the offensive vegetable into the napkin._

_Lily then folded the spit out food in the napkin and lifted Severus' plate heading over to the garbage._

_Severus let out a little sob. This was it, Lily was taking away his dinner because he had been ungrateful and who knew when he would be allowed to eat again. Ungrateful little boys didn't deserve to be fed, that was what his daddy had told him and it was apparent Lily agreed._

"_Oh, Sev what's wrong now little one?" Lily asked, scraping the distasteful vegetable off the plate and into the garbage, tossing the napkin in after it before placing the plate of food, now cauliflower free back in front of Sev._

_Sev looked at her wide eyed and then at the plate, she was giving it back?? And without the yucky white stuff?_

"_Sev... Sev tan `till has dis?" he asked in disbelief._

_Lily gasped realizing what she had done. Severus thought she was taking away his dinner as punishment for not liking his vegetable._

"_Oh... Oh Severus of course you can still have your supper, I was just getting rid of the cauliflower for you that is all. I won't ever make you eat something you really don't like, unless of course its medicine, I know that tastes yucky but it is important you take it and you always get a treat after that. You can always tell me if you dont like something and I promise you won't ever be punished for it." Lily told him and Severus sniffled. He should have known better, his Lily was nice. She would not starve him. He ducked his head feeling guilty for having thought such a thing._

_Lily sighed and retrieved Sev from the highchair. He could work on feeding himself another nigh; right now he needed to be reassured, so taking the child into her lap she snuggled his as she fed him the rest of his meal._

"Well, we all have our preferences," the nurse allowed moving her wand over the small body, "at any rate, he is doing very well. He is growing and gaining weight, but I am sure you already noticed that!"

"Oh yes," Lily grimaced wryly, "he's getting heavier, alright."

Severus got his nutrient potion and his chocolate frog, and was set to play in the corner.

"I'm a little worried," Lily admitted, "Molly lent me some of her books on child rearing and development. Severus doesn't seem to act like a two year old. Sometimes he wants me to carry him all the time, especially when we leave our rooms. Sometimes he'll say things that I don't think a two year old would be able to and other times he is very hard to understand at all. The books say I could start potty training him if he is showing an interest in the toilet – but he's not SHOWING any interest in the toilet like the books say he should."

Poppy patted her hand. "Lily, you are doing fine. Reading those books is all good and well, but you must remember that Severus is NOT a normal two year old. You can't expect him to act like a normal two year old. First of all, he is a de-aged fifteen year old. He still has partial access to his memories. He will sometimes act more mature. Second, he is a neglected, abused little boy who suddenly found himself in someone's loving care for the first time in his life. Of course he is clingy and sometimes acts like a younger child. Take it slow. It is no big deal if he gets potty trained a little later. That is not our priority right now. We need to solve his medical issues and help him overcome his traumas. Don't forget his parents left him naked, in a cot, for days. Wearing diapers is still new to him, let alone a toilet."

She paused to smile and wave at the playing child, who could not hear them because of the silencing charms they put up, but still returned the smile.

"We will work on all those other things together in time, but for now we have to let Severus set the pace. You cannot compare him to Molly's boys. Remember what you told me about little Nymphadora? A normal child would not trip so very often, but she is not a normal child, she is a metamorphmagus. That means you have to take both her talent and her limitations into account, and not expect from her what you would expect from other children. It is the same with Severus. Severus is doing very well, both physically and emotionally. Much better than I could have hoped, even."

Lily nodded, relieved. "I couldn't possibly do it without you, Madam Pomfrey," she said gratefully, "Severus loves you to bits."

Poppy's eyes softened as she eyed Severus. "I love him dearly. I have cared for him since he first walked in here over four years ago."

The young witch gave her a hug and then her expression turned mischievous. "Well, I know what this means!"

Upon the inquisitive look, she continued, "We are going to use the first day of the Christmas holidays to go on an outing in the Muggle world with Sev! And you get to tell the Headmaster. Great, isn't it?" she teased.

Poppy laughed, but nodded in agreement. Severus, having noticed the Silencing charms had dropped and the two women were laughing, walked over to join them, pulling on their robes with small chocolate covered hands.

OoOoOo

In the end, not only Poppy and Lily took Severus out – Andromeda and little Dora joined them as well. Lily had written to her parents, who gave her the address for the perfect destination.

She then refused to tell the others what she had in mind for their day out. She did tell the Headmaster, though, whose eyes twinkled like mad when he heard. He handed her some Muggle cash and told her to take many pictures for him. For the first time, Lily felt a bit of the respect she'd had for him when she started school return.

"Why don't you come with us?" she asked.

"Lily," he said softly, "Severus would not feel free or safe with me around. I would love to spend some time with him, but not on this day. This is his day out. Perhaps I could accompany you again on a short trip to Diagon Alley for Christmas presents later this week, and treat you two to lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. Small steps."

Lily nodded and left, eager to find the others.

Andromeda and Dora had Floo'ed to the Three Broomsticks where Regina wished them a nice day. From there, they went to the station and took a train to a nearby town, not even twenty minutes away. Neither of the children ever rode the train before (other than Severus's trips on the Hogwarts Express when he was still a teen) and they had a great time. Andromeda, though pureblood, had learned to appreciate the Muggle world from her husband, but Poppy had not been in Muggle transportation before. She was almost as excited as the children.

They took a cab from the station, and Andromeda frowned as she saw that they were entering a small industrial area.

"What are we doing here, Lily?" she asked in concern.

"Just wait and see," Lily giggled.

The cab dropped them off at an old warehouse. Lily paid and thanked the driver, giving him a generous tip. After all, it WAS the Headmasters money she was spending. Growing respect or no, she had not yet abandoned her quest to spend as much of his money as she possibly could.

Andromeda carried Dora and Poppy had Severus on her arm as they entered. To the surprise of both women, not to mention toddlers, the inside of the spacious warehouse had been transformed into a huge playground, with various bouncy castles, trampolines, intricate mazes to climb and play in – everything a child could want. Andromeda noticed with delight that everything, from the floor to the poles holding up the roof, was padded with soft material and the climbing structures were all fitted with nets so it was impossible to fall out. Dora would have a hard time hurting herself even if she wanted to.

It was still early, and it looked pretty much empty. A few mothers with young children and babies sat in the comfortable chairs, reading magazines.

"It's Toddler Morning," Lily explained, "Every week they have a morning where children under three years old get in for half the normal entrance fee. Those mornings are usually quiet since the older children are still in school – the holiday for the Muggle children doesn't start for a few days yet. I had my parents call. Only downside is you can't bring your own food, but they have plenty of things to drink and eat for the kids."

The children, hearing that 'shoes off' was the only rule and they could play all they wanted, decided they had landed themselves in some sort of heaven. Dora took Severus by the hand and dragged him to a bouncy castle.

"Come, Sev! Jump!" she yelled.

The three adults found a nice table to sit and Lily fetched them all some coffee and treats.

"They look adorable," Andromeda said with an indulgent smile. They did, the others agreed. Dora had elected to wear jeans with pink flowers embroidered on them, and a pink shirt. Her hair was blonde on this occasion – Ted and Andromeda had taught her early on that the rule for the Muggle world was 'blonde, brown or black hair and no changes while we're there.' Considering Ted's Muggle relations, they ventured out into the Muggle world regularly. It got a bit complicated when they had to see the same people more than once as Andromeda had to remember what color Dora had made her hair the last time, but she did as it was impossible to make the child use the same color every time they went out. For some reason that upset the toddler too much. The Reversal Squad would have had a job Obliviating Muggles had they not set those boundaries for their daughter.

Severus also wore jeans, but with a deep red button down shirt. He happily allowed Dora to drag him along, They had jumped and bounced for a while in the bounce house before Dora pulled Sev out again and along the huge place, laughing as she tripped and he went down with her. The mats on the floor were soft and falling was almost fun. Dora stared at the floor in amazement and giggled excitedly smacking the soft floor with one little hand in excitement. Here she could finally play all she wanted without getting hurt!

After bouncing around for just about another ten minutes, the floor alone proving to be quite the entertainment, they started to explore the rest of the hall. At first they stayed close to where the witches were sitting, but gradually they moved further down until they discovered the large ball pit. The place was huge and a parent could not possibly hope to be able to keep an eye on their children 100% of the time, but being a place made specifically for children all precautions were taken. There were many staff members placed throughout the place, stationed in front of every door and scattered around the different fun zones. Not to mention that upon entering everyone had their hand stamped with a number. Everyone in the same party had the same number stamped on their hand and the stamps were checked at every door. You could not even go into a bathroom with a child if your stamps did not match. Poppy had been rather intrigued with how muggles managed child safety without the use of magic and monitoring spells to make sure no one tried to run off with your little one. She was pleasantly surprised.

"BALLS!!!" Dora screamed. Severus had no idea what she was talking about, but he didn't mind following her around. His eyes widened when he saw the coloured balls. Dora dove in right away, 'swimming' and tossing a few balls at various objects along the wall. When she hit one, it made a noise. Severus soon got the idea and tried, too.

Satisfied that the children were playing contently, the three women turned to their coffee and brownies, chatting away.

Severus and Dora played for a while on their own, until a bigger boy joined them. The boy was a four year old, and quite large for his age. He also did not approve of other children in the ball pit when he wanted to play in it.

"You. Go," he ordered. Severus started to obey, but Dora held him back.

"No, Sev," she said, "we gets to play too."

The boy glared at her, and started tossing the balls at her. Though they were soft and it didn't really hurt, it was definitely annoying. The boy then turned his attention to Severus.

"Baby," he yelled, throwing balls at the small boy, "go away!"

Severus would have obliged, but Dora suddenly stepped in front of him. "No hurt Sev," she said angrily, "you MEANIE!"

The boy gave her a shove and she fell back. Severus's eyes widened. That boy hurt Dora! He bit his lip and stepped forward to defend her.

"MEANIE!" he repeated.

The boy raised his fist, and Severus cringed, but the blow never came. Instead, a large hand caught that of the boy.

"What is this, Michael?" a stern voice asked, "how many times have I told you, everyone gets to play here, not just you. You do NOT throw balls at other children and push them. You had better say you are sorry, young man!"

"Sorry," the boy muttered under the glare of his mother.

"Good. Now, I think you will come sit with me at the table for a few minutes to think about your behaviour."

The woman gave him a slight push towards the table where she'd been sitting, and smiled at the two smaller children.

"Not hurt, I hope?"

Dora shook her head.

"Well, Michael is going to have time-out for a bit and I am sure afterwards he will not tease you again. If he does, come tell me, alright? Have fun, children."

Severus just stared, his mouth open. The boy got punished? The boy got punished! He got punished for hurting Dora and wanting to hit him! That was too strange he had to go tell Lily!

He trudged through the balls and hopped out of the pit making his way over to Lily, Dora following close behind him.

Lily saw the two children approach, Severus running ahead as fast as his little legs would carry him with Dora following as fast as she could, stumbling a few times along the way, and held out her arms to catch him.

"What is it, Sev?" she asked concerned, but he was not crying.

"Boy," Severus said, panting, "boy!"

"Boy was mean," Dora said in explanation when she finally made it to Lily's side a few moments behind Sev, "Him's Mummy comed an' gived him time-out."

Realisation dawned. Severus wasn't upset – Severus was confused because someone did not get away with hurting him. It saddened them, but they also knew this experience was very important to Severus.

"Well that was very good of his Mummy," Poppy said, "being mean is not allowed. Now, would you kids like a drink and a treat, too?"

Soon, Severus and Dora sat drinking apple juice and sharing a brownie, the mean boy completely forgotten for the moment.

They were just finishing their snack when a red headed lady who looked very much like Lily, carrying a little girl who looked just about Severus's age wearing her auburn hair in pigtails, and a slightly balding brunette man came up to them.

"Mum, Dad! Oh you brought Isabella!" Lily exclaimed happily hopping up and hugging them both and cooing at Isabella, her two year old cousin. She was her mother's younger sister's youngest child.

Lily was glad to see they had not brought Petunia with them; she must have been at a friend's house.

Lily made quick introductions amongst the adults before picking up Severus.

"Oh this must be Sev." Mrs. Evans said smiling; she would recognize those obsidian eyes anywhere.

She and Mr. Evans were dealing with her own guilt over the little boy. They had lived down the block from the Snape's for nearly 20 years and Severus had been their daughter's best friend for about twelve of those years. He had spent a lot of time at their house; they had known Tobias Snape had not been a nice man when he was alive. They had seen the signs of his abuse and they had not done anything for the child save for forcing a second helping of supper on him when he ate over. He had always been far too thin for Mrs. Evans's liking.

They had never seen bruises on the boy, but then they should have noticed anyway the signs were all there, and they had always noticed his ill-fitting clothing.

Severus batted his eyes at the woman, he thought he recognised her, he had the feeling he liked her, and she looked like Lily. Lily seemed to like her a lot too and if his Lily liked her she had to be good.

However he was not willing to push his luck just yet and so he clung to Lily and watched the new strangers carefully just to make sure they were good like he thought they were.

Mrs. Evans placed Isabella on the floor and the little girl immediately toddled over to Dora and smiled widely. The two girls introduced themselves in a tittering toddler kind of way and then Dora smiled, walking over to Lily she demanded Severus so that she could introduce her new friend and go back and play. She didn't want to sit there with the adults any more.

Rubbing Severus' back reassuringly for a moment, Lily kissed his forehead before placing him on his feet. She watched him closely for a moment to see if he would try and cling to her or if he would go and play with the girls. She was happy and relieved when Severus simply gave her one last look as if to see if it was ok for him to go before heading off to the girls.

Dora promptly grabbed a hold of Severus' and Isabella's hands and pulled them along to the large elaborate jungle Jim. It was a large well-padded structure with ropes and monkey bars, even a large spider web like climbing structure and a rock climbing wall with an employee stationed right next to it handing out helmets and strapping harnesses on to the children who wanted to try it.

Severus' eyes widened and he smiled and for the first time he took the lead and ran over to the large spider web net that once climbed, led to a large winding slide. Dora and Isabella didn't seem to mind and followed him over all three of them eagerly climbing up onto it. The net was knitted tightly, the spaces much smaller and closer together than other play things like it, making it easier for the littlest ones to climb. The spaces were small enough that they couldn't fall through.

Severus bounced a bit when he reached the middle of the net, looking back at Dora and Isabella with a big grin.

"Sev a `pider!!" he exclaimed happily garnering giggles from his friend.

Climbing all the way up and to the slide was a lot of effort for such little humans but that didn't stop them doing it several times before running over to the toddler sized rock climb wall.

The people who built the place knew children well and they knew that the youngest children would want to try a rock climb wall too, but would not be thrilled with the idea of being harnessed and helmeted. So to solve the problem they had a smaller rock climb wall, one that was much shorter and put on a slant, a 45 degree angle making it safe for the children without them needing all the safety equipment, though there was a worker right there to keep an eye on them none the less. The wall led up to a large platform that had two slides: one that lead into a pit of balls and one that lead into a pit of brightly colored, round and square foam pieces.

As the day progressed Severus got more and more bold, seeing no adults were bothering them (save for snapping a picture here and there) and his company consisted of two little girls that were just about his size and couldn't and wouldn't hurt him. Severus didn't feel scared and thus was able to just enjoy being a toddler, jumping and climbing and giggling even squealing with joy as he slid down a pole or a slide. Here making noise and having fun wasn't forbidden; in fact judging by what he was seeing those things seemed to be the rule. Severus had never felt so free, had never been so - well, fearless. He was so used to being scared that he didn't even notice he was always afraid until times like these when it was absent. Times when he didn't feel scared at all. He didn't have many moments like those but they had become more and more frequent since Lily started to take care of him.

Lily watched him play and felt warmness in her chest. He really looked happy, well and truly happy. She had never seen Severus actually happy, not in any of the time they had been friends.

It was a very exhausted and very pleased little boy that wandered back to her, holding two little girls' hands, that evening. He looked more content then she had ever seen him even if he also looked more tired than she had ever seen him. It had been a long exciting day and Lily didn't forget that Severus had missed his nap he would sleep like a log tonight.

When Lily had put a very tired but happy Severus to bed that night, she settled in a comfy chair with a book. A thoughtful elf brought her some hot chocolate and biscuits, and she sighed contently. She had only read a few pages, however, when a knock on her door interrupted her quiet night. Grumbling, she got up and yanked the door open.

Albus Dumbledore involuntarily took a step back, but chuckled when Lily blushed. "Sorry, Headmaster," she muttered, "I wasn't expecting you."

"I have waited until I thought Severus would be in bed," the old man explained, "I wanted to know how your day out was."

Lily smiled brightly."Oh, the children had such fun. Come on in, I'll show you the pictures."

Dumbledore looked at the top picture of the stack Lily shoved into his hands. It showed his nurse, with Severus on her lap, in that Muggle train. The twin looks of enrapture were funny, and he couldn't help a grin. Slowly he flicked through the pile of moving photographs.

Little Dora and Sev on a trampoline bouncing about with wide smiles.

Both of them laying on the padded floor, laughing and squirming.

Pelting balls in the ball pit.

Climbing what looked like a mini-climbing wall. That picture only showed two small, raised behinds as the children were far too focussed to look over their shoulder for the picture.

The children with a second girl, all three of them with a brown moustache from the chocolate milk they were drinking.

"These are lovely, miss Evans," he said then he almost gasped. The last picture was a close up of little Severus, and had come out perfectly. The small boy was smiling brightly, a slight twinkle in his black eyes. One tiny finger in his mouth, and the other hand waving at something beyond the scope of the camera, probably Dora, it seemed the photo was taken as they were winding down after all the excitement and Severus looked exhausted yet completely content and happy with just how he had gotten so tired. The photo encompassed all that childhood should be. It was a beautiful picture.

"Miss Evans...Lily," he cleared his throat, "May I please have a copy of this one?"

Lily looked at him, seeing both the delight and the slight pang of sadness in his eyes, and her heart softened another bit for the old man. "Of course. Take that one - it's still on the camera so I can get another print."

Dumbledore left in deep thought, never taking his eyes off the face of the toddler that beamed at him from the picture as his feet automatically brought him back to his rooms.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I still down own them which is good because I couldn't afford to feed them if I did. I still make no money off their usage, if I did I wouldn't need my job and would have a lot more time to write and it wouldn't have taken me over a year to get another chapter out to you guys. I'm sorry about that, by the way.

A/N: This is really short but I wanted to get something out there to let you all know I'm back on the case, or the story as it is because it has been so long! I am without a co writer on this one as the person I was writing with so long ago backed out. That was one of the reasons this got put on the shelf as long as it did. So please bear with me. I also have no beta and it shows. Sorry.

OoOoOo

Last Resort Chapter 10- Short but sweet, James finally starts taking responsibility for his actions. But why the sudden change of heart?

OoOoOo

James sat up in bed panting, trickles of sweat making hot sticky paths down the side of his face. His hands clutched tightly in his duvet, he looked around the room frantically trying to re orient himself with reality.

It was still dark outside but he knew that sleep was going to be a lost cause. His body was shaking and his mind was reeling. He could barely catch his breath let alone make his body stop shaking.

All at once he had a realization that he had never ever wanted to have…. He James Potter was a nasty person. Hot bitter tears filled his eyes as he tossed the blankets off himself and slid out of his bed. Putting bare feet on cold wood floor he didn't even bother with slippers, instead he allowed the nipping chill bite at his feet as he padded out of his room and down the hallway towards his parent's bedroom.

Apparently, James chided himself; he was also selfish because he was going to wake his father up in the middle of the night over a bad dream and even worse epiphany. That, which would have been acceptable at the age of 6 was wholly unacceptable at 15. But he couldn't help it, he was badly shaken up, barely holding back tears and he needed his father.

He made his way almost nervously into his parent's bedroom. He wasn't so sure his father liked him very much at the moment. He couldn't blame him if he didn't. The way he had been arguing and fighting and making excuses for his inexcusable behavior. James wasn't so sure HE liked himself right now.

Making his way around to his father's side of the bed as quietly as he could as to not wake his mother, he stood there staring at the sleeping man, not yet daring to so much as touch him. He stared at his father for a moment before losing his nerve… The man didn't want to be woken by his good for nothing son in the middle of the night.

As her turned to leave the room his heard his father's whispered voice "James?"

"Sorry dad" James whispered back "I'll go back to bed I didn't mean to wake you."

Harold shook his head and quietly slid out of bed. Placing a strong hand on James' neck he lead him out of the bedroom and back to his own room down the hall.

"No James, you obviously needed something or you wouldn't have come into my room in the middle of the night." He said firmly as he sat James down on his bed.

James looked down, now face to face with his father he didn't know what to say to the man, how to put to words the guilt that was eating him up inside.

"Please don't hate me…" Was all he could managed to croak out as his throat became tight with tears which filled his eyes unbidden.

"Hate you? James I could never hate you, I may not be impressed with your behavior, I may not like that you have turned into a bully who isn't willing to take responsibility for his actions, but I could NEVER hate you. You are my son and I love you." Harold scolded.

James' head hung lower and lower as his father spoke and by the end of his monologue James was completely hunched over, his shoulders bent down, his back curved till his face was nearly in his lap. He wanted to just disappear. Resting his elbows on his knees he hid his face in his hands.

"You don't like me very much do you?" James asked, muffled into his hands. Though he was scared of the answer he would surely get, he had to know.

"I…" Harold stopped for a moment not wanting to be too hasty with his words yet not wanting to lie to his son either. That would do the child no good.

"I don't like bullies son," he could see his boy's countenance become more bent and defeated, if that was even at all possible, but he trudged on, knowing that what he had to say was important and had to be heard by his son "that being said, I don't believe you are well and truly a bully. There is too much goodness in your heart, I know there is. I don't like how you have been behaving I am even disappointed to think that I could have raised a child who could treat another person as you have," Harold almost lost his nerve as he saw his only child's shoulder shake with silent sobs and knowing he had been the one to cause it. But he knew he needed to finish this. "However, that fact that you sought me out tonight, the way you did. The fact that you are so affected by my words and my feelings towards your behavior shows me hope. Hope that the son I had hoped to raise is somewhere within you. I know that you can turn yourself around and be the man you were meant to be, a man to make your father proud. I do believe in you, and I believe one day I will be proud to call you my son." Harold didn't know how he did it. How he had gotten through that entire thing without breaking down himself but now that he did he wanted nothing more than to grab his son and hold him to his chest. It took all his self control to restrain himself from doing just that. That wasn't what was needed right now, now was the time for tough love. He couldn't make this okay. That was up to James. James would have to come to him…

James felt like his entire would was crumbling down around him. How had he let this happen?

Keeping his face hidden in his hands, he sobbed, not daring to look up at his father, unable to speak, unsure what to say yet praying the man didn't just walk away.

Shaking his head, his face still hidden in his hands he sobbed "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I still don't own them, which is good because I couldn't afford to feed them if I did. I still make no money off their usage, if I did I wouldn't need my job and would have a lot more time to write and it wouldn't have taken me over a year to get another chapter out to you guys. I'm sorry about that, by the way.

A/N: I'm a little discouraged by the lack of reviews for last chapter (for this story it wasn't nearly as many as usual and many of the usuals didn't review). I was hoping I had not lost too many of you but it seems that I have. If people are no longer interested in this story I may just take it down. It is taking me a lot of effort to get back into writing this and if people don't want to read it, it is effort wasted.

This chapter is a little bit different as I added in some new magic of my own making and took me a really long time to write. Please let me know what you think.

Warning for being unbetad

OoOoOo

Last Resort Chapter 11- In which Severus decorates his first Christmas tree and finally dares to be naughty. And, a little surprise first as well, hint, this first doesn't have to do with Sev, though he does inadvertantly cause it. A chapter full of firsts.

OoOoOo

Severus stared wide eyed at the huge Swiss Pine that stood proudly in the corner of the Lupin's vacation home. The yet to be decorated tree had held the babies attention the entire time the adults had been brining in boxes of decorations from the storage shed out back.

Remus put the last box of decorations down with a huff "I swear we didn't have this many last year. What did they do in there all year? Reproduce?" He asked his parents.

"They're Christmas ornaments not bunny rabbits, Remus." His father chided with a chuckle.

Lily and Remus' mother started to chuckle slightly behind their hands. Severus, though he didn't know what was so funny, in an effort not to be left out gave a little giggle as well.

Remus crinkled his nose and gave an exaggerated pout at being laughed at, but his façade` quickly cracked and he gave into giggles soon after.

"Fine," Remus said after he had finished giggling "tease me all you want, but I'm not helping to lug those back out after Christmas." He said, crossing his arms over his chest, though the smile on his face gave him completely away.

Lily shook her head at him before crouching down before the box closest to the three. Opening it up to see what was inside. Dozens of tissue paper wrapped balls greeted her when the final flap was pushed out of the way. Reaching in Lilly carefully pulled one out and slowly, as to not rip the paper; unwrapped it revealing a beautiful hand blown glass ornament. The ornament was made of thin clear class and inside was a swirling prism of colors. It looked as if someone had gone outside after a spring storm and trapped a rainbow within the glass. The colors swirled together, forming new colors before swirling apart and then into another color creating something new and different once more.

Lily stared at it with mesmerized eyes holding it carefully, almost reverently, in her hands as she watched the colors change.

"My great, great, great, great Grandmother made that." Mrs. Lupin said.

Lily raised her eyes to meet the older woman's when she started to speak, realizing she had been watching her watch the ornament.

"It's… it's amazing! How did she do it?" Lily asked, turning back to stare at the ornament.

"She was something known as a 'rainbow rider'. They are very rare. In fact, there has not been one born nearly 200 years. Not since her." Mrs. Lupin began.

"What is a rainbow rider?" Lily asked her eyes now fixed on Mrs. Lupin, filled with curiosity.

"Ah, yes, a rainbow rider is a witch or a wizard that control the power of the rainbow. Not many people know this, but a rainbow is not just something that appears after a storm. It is instead, a magical creature in its own right, one which not only creates and controls the storm but provides a gate from our reality to another. Sort of like a dimensional bridge. A rainbow rider has a unique connection with the rainbow one which allows them to control it. It is rare indeed that a rainbow allows itself to be controlled by anyone, they are very stubborn a powerful animals. Rainbow riders are also the only ones the rainbow will allow to cross. The easiest way to explain it really is that a rainbow is a rainbow rider's familiar and it isn't often that a rainbow allows itself to become a familiar to anyone. It is one of the reasons rainbow riders are so rare. Rainbows only connect themselves to the purest of hearts, the kindest, most gentile and good and there simply aren't all that many born with the selflessness, the kindness of heart, the untarnished goodness it takes to endear a rainbow to them. Not to mention rainbows are a rare animal to begin with. It is an inherited power, but as far as I know we haven't had one born into our family in generations. No one has." Mrs. Lupin explained and she smiled seeing that all eyes, even Severus' were on her.

"Anyway, my great, great, great, great grandmother Celeste was indeed a rainbow rider, a magnificent one at that. She had a connection with her rainbow that far surpassed most witches and wizards, connections to their familiars. Her and her rainbow, Coelestis, grew up together. He had appeared to her after a particularly harsh storm in her third summer. Now three years of age is early for any witch's familiar to find them, so that alone made their bond a bit stronger. They were together for many years until a war broke out on the other side of the rainbow, Coelistis' home dimension. Celeste insisted he go, he was needed there, and though he was reluctant to leave her he recognized the truth in her words. He was needed home. Before he left he gave her a bit of himself to remember him by and in case he did not make it back. She placed it safely inside a locket that she wore around her neck waiting for his return. She waited 3 years for him to come back to her, the locket making the loss in her heart a little lighter to bear. As anyone who has lost a familiar knows, it is like losing a part of you. In that time she had married and had two children, twins, none of whom filled the space that he had left. He returned to her faded, his colors more gray then they ought to have been but he was still him. He allowed her safe passage to his home land that was now filled with peace, the color that had drained from him seemed to be in the world around them and Celeste knew he had given up part of himself for the right reason. Despite his war injuries Coelestis lived about 80 more years, and though Celeste tried to give him the bit he had given her back, in hopes it would brighten his color again, he refused it insisting she needed it more than he did. He passed away on a Christmas eve over 80 years later and to commemorate him Celeste took his bit of self from the locket and sealed it into that ornament. Every year we put it on the tree in tribute to him, to her and to their friendship." She finished her story with a smile on her lips and a tear in her eyes.

Everyone was speechless as they listened to the story and it took a few moments before anyone had collected themselves to speak.

"Did you ever meet him mom? Coelestis?" Remus asked after a few moments.

"Aye, I was about 4 when he passed. I spent summers here with my Gran Celeste and Coelestis used to let me ride him around the yard. Flying on a rainbow is quite unlike any other form of flight, it's amazing. I always wanted to see what was on his other side but he never let me pass." She told him, something looking distinctly like a pout formed on her lips at the last.

Severus, who had been paying rapt attention to all that was being said, crawled over to Lily when the story was through and reached out for the delicate decoration.

Lily quickly pulled it out of the child's reach "Oh no baby you can look but don't touch ok?" She scolded gently. The last thing she needed was for Sev to break the priceless family heirloom not to mention that that thin glass made for sharp dangerous shards. If there was a piece of rainbow inside then using safety charms to protect it against brakeage was out of the questions, the magic just didn't mingle well with others. That much about rainbows Lily knew.

Severus pouted at her, he wanted to touch the pretty too! Daring, he reached out to grab at it again only to have Lily pull back once more.

"I said no Severus and I mean it, you are not to touch understand." She scolded a bit more firmly. She had never had to scold the boy before so this was a little new. He always listened so well, usually.

Severus' bottom lip trembled a bit at the scolding, he didn't like that his Lily had scolded him but he noticed that the underlying fear he usually had when getting told off was no longer there, not when it came to Lily. He now seemed to understand that he was safe with her.

Lily sighed seeing the tremble and putting the ornament down safely in the box; she lifted the toddler up and held him to her chest. She knew, really, that, that bit of disobedience was a really good sign. Severus was acting more as a toddler should, it also showed that he trusted her not to harm him and that was a breakthrough that made Lily's heart warm and happy.

"Emily" John beckoned his wife softly tilting his head towards a box sitting right next to her left foot on the floor, with a tilt of his head.

Emily Lupin grinned recognizing the large blue plastic box and knowing exactly where her husband was thinking.

Lifting it up she carried it over to where Lily was kneeling on the floor, the sniffling toddler burrowed against her chest. She shook the box a bit to garner the baby's attention and sure enough the little one's head popped up to look at her with wide wet eyes. Emily immediately opened the box and let him peer inside at all the brightly colored plastic ornaments.

"Severus, you can use these and help decorate the tree too." Mrs. Lupin said with a smile. "Remus had curious hands when he was your age as well." She added with a chuckle placing the box down on the floor next to them. Remus blushed. "We bought him these so that he could safely help decorate the tree without breaking anything. He was always a bit clumsy and these insured everyone and everything stayed safe. They can't be broken. I think he wouldn't mind if you used them this year." She explained and Severus' eyes lit up. "He used them till last year." She added in jest, giggling and making Remus blush harder.

"Moooommmm!!" Remus whined "That's not true!" he protested.

"Your right Rem," His father interjected "This is the first year you won't be using those, and that's only because you need to share them with Severus now." His parents exchanged a look and then they both dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"Daaaaaaaaaadddddddd, Mooommmmmmmmmmm stop!! That's not true; you know that's not true. Lily, don't listen to them it's not true! Mom! Dad! Tell her that's not true!" He exclaimed in a quick rush of words, his face bright red.

"Oh Remus," His father said as he caught his breath, placing a soothing hand on his shoulder "We are only having a bit of fun."

"At my expense," The teenager muttered with a pout.

"Ah, Remus you do not give your lady friend enough credit. Do you not think her smart enough to puzzle out that we are kidding?" His mother asked.

"I… ah, no, I know she is smart, she is the smartest witch of our age." Remus babbled blushing.

"Then why worry so? No need to be embarrassed if you know she knows it's untrue." Emily scolded, gently.

"Sorry." Remus muttered sheepishly and if it was possible for him to get even redder, he did.

"Don't be sorry son; we were making fun after all." His father said with a smile wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a half hug which the boy melted into.

"So, why don't we all decorate the tree, hmm?" Emily asked nudging the box of children's ornaments , with her foot, to Lily for Severus.

Rainbow ornament forgotten, Severus wriggled away from Lilly to peer into the box, bouncing a bit at his knees in excitement.

Lily smiled fondly as she taught Severus how to hang the ornaments which he quickly got the hang of and she left him to it going to help with the other ornaments. Every now and then she would stop to look at the child who was placing ornaments on the tree with such thought and positions. He picked a branch and an ornament and then carefully set about placing the ornament on the branch just right, his little tongue poking out from between his lips in concentration. Every now and then he would step back, stare at what he had just done and either nod and move on or go back in and fix it. Lily couldn't help but marvel at his perfectionism. He didn't do things by halves even at this age.

Everyone helped out and soon the boxes were empty, the tree beautifully decorated, the ring around the very bottom covered in the plastic colorful ornaments while the rest of the tree housed all the gorgeous glass ones along with candles and candy canes.

John Lupin then stood on a stool and with the toddlers permission and much to his excitement, lifted the little boy up onto his shoulders. Between the stool under Mr. Lupin's feet and the toddler on his shoulders they were tall enough to reach the very top of the tree. He then handed Severus the golden star which the child proudly put atop the very tip top branch of the tree. He felt very important having been given such a crucial job.

When all was done Severus sat himself down in front of the tree, eyes glued open wide in child like wonder. He had never ever, never seen a Christmas tree like that before.

He stared at it for a long while before turning to Lily, who was watching him with a wide smile, and said "Sev hep maked Kissmess fee." And he sounded awfully proud of himself.

"Yes you did." Lily replied, infusing as much pride as she could into her own voice as she swooped down to pick the baby up from the floor hugging him close to her chest.

Severus giggled as Lily tickled his stomach before pulling him close once more and he rested his head against her shoulder. He could never remember being more content in his young life.

Having placed the last of the empty boxes to the side for his father to shrink and store till after Christmas when they would be needed to pack the ornaments again, Remus went to the couch where his parents were sitting watching the tree lights sparkle. He wriggles his thin frame into the tiny space between his mother and father sitting nearly halfway in his father's lap for lack of space.

His parents smiled indulgently and let him cling near. They knew he was still feeling insecure about what had happened the month before and even though they had retracted all those punishments, they had left their mark. Especially the one that had forbade him from coming home. The guilt of how they had found their son when they had come back to Hogwarts still ate at them and they vowed to never make their precious son feel unwanted again.

John scooted over a bit so that Remus could sit flush on the couch before putting his arm around the boy and pulling him close, placing a kiss on his head. He was a bit more affectionate then usual but he reckoned they all needed it this holiday.

Remus laid his head on his father's shoulder soaking up the offered comfort and love. He had been so scared that his parents didn't… couldn't love him anymore after what he had done, and so all the affection was a welcome relief to him.

Emily indulged in the family cuddle for a few more moments before lifting herself up off of the couch.

"I should go start dinner." She told them as she headed towards the kitchen.

"Let me help you." Lily offered placing Severus down on the couch next to Remus in the spot Mrs. Lupin had just vacated.

Emily stopped and turned back to Lily with a smile on her face "If you would like to dear, though there is no need." She assured.

"Oh, no I want to, I like to cook." Lily smiled.

"Then by all means," Emily held out an arm to her and lead her into the kitchen "I would love the help." With that both ladies disappeared into the kitchen leaving the gentlemen to their own devises.

John gave his son's shoulder a squeeze before standing up.

"I am going to go get those boxes out of the way before your mother gets on my back about them." He said with a wink and grin to Remus who nodded and smiled back.

"I'll help. Remus offered with a smile.

"No magic." Jon warned wagging a finger at him.

"No, no magic sir." Remus assured with a small pout "I'll just put them on the shelf in the closet as you shrink them."

"Good boy." Mr. Lupin smiled ruffling Remus' head affectionately before pulling out his wand.

With all the big people busy Severus was left to his own amusement. He slid of the couch and padded back over to the tree where the swirly rainbow ornament caught his attention once more. It was on a branch towards the top of the tree far out of the reach of mischievous little children's hands.

Frowning Severus scanned the area around the tree, a wide smile breaking out on his face when he noticed the step stool Mr. Lupin and he had used to reach the top of the tree for the star. Hatching an idea well befitting a Slytherin, Severus dragged the stool over to the side of the tree that housed the rainbow ornament before climbing onto it. Reaching all the way up the tips of his fingers nearly skimmed the bottom of the coveted item and he frowned a moment before using all of his energy and balance to push himself up onto his tip toes. It took all of his effort to balance himself enough to reach; stretching his arms out as far as they could go which was just enough to close both hands around the ornament and pull it down.

Unfortunately that was where he balance failed and he went fly backwards off the 2 foot stool landing hard on his diapered bottom. He was unharmed, though scared. Too bad the same could not have been said about the ornament which went flying out of his hands and through the air landing hard on the floor and cracking down the middle of the thin, fine glass.

At the sound of the falling toddler and breaking glass all four older people came running from their opposite directions into the living room.

Seeing Severus on the floor, still too much in shock to cry, Lily ran over to him. She then took in the broken ornament and the moved stool and put the story together. She felt a bit of anger spark at the naughtiness Severus had gotten into mingled with a bit of relief that he had managed to recover enough emotionally to get into naughtiness and then, the dread hit because she knew she would have to deal with the babies naughtiness and that was going to be a bit sticky and sensitive. A wrong move on her part could send Severus' recovery back weeks if not more but at the same time she knew she couldn't just let it slide.

The moment Lily reached him and lifted him up Severus burst into noisy sobs. He wasn't really harmed but his bottom hurt from landing on it so hard and his fall had been very scary.

Lily rocked him in her arms, he didn't seem hurt, though she supposed he had landed hard on his bottom, she concluded he was most likely just scared. She rubbed his back and rocked him gently, hushing him softly till his tears were under control.

Mrs. Lupin bent down to pick up the broken ornament, which cracked all the way open in her hands. The bit of rainbow inside bounced from one piece of broken glass to the other for a few moments, back and forth, back and forth, until it bounced out and around the room.

As it bounced around the room, the eyes of all the occupants of said room fixed on it, it got bigger and bigger until it was the size of a baby rainbow, which given the size of a full grown rainbow, was still rather impressive being about the size of a full grown adult.

The bouncing slowed down until the rainbow formed an arch right above Remus' head bouncing there for a moment as if in excitement. It then moved down in front of Remus spun around the boy so fast that the teen was lost in a blur of color. Remus had to close his eyes to keep from getting dizzy.

Stopping, the rainbow the stood up on its back arch its top arch bent slightly forward and bouncing like an excited puppy nudging itself under Remus' chin.

Remus' eyes popped open wide and he stared at the rainbow and then at his mom.

Mrs. Lupin blinked and shook her head then blinked again. That couldn't mean what she thought it meant. Could it?

"Remus, honey, come here." His mother called and Remus shimmied away from the rainbow moving quickly over to his mother, only to have the rainbow follow tapping him on the head rather disgruntled like, at having been ignored.

Remus looked at him mom wide eyed and rubbed his head pouting a bit at the rainbow.

"It can't be…" his mother said in awe "Wait a second I'll be right back." With that she scurried over to the nearby book shelf and pulled down a rather large old tome. Flipping through it, biting her bottom lip he finally stopped having found what she was looking for. "It IS true!" she exclaimed.

"What is true mom!?" Remus asked anxiously as the rainbow had started to nuzzle under his chin again making him very nervous.

"Well, it seems Coelestis had some rather important reasons for having Gran keep that piece of him, as it turns out, that is how they reproduce. It's just that it takes many, many years for a little piece of rainbow to take on consciousness of its own. It takes a long time for it to mature that far. This little guy would have broken out of the glass ornament within the next 20 years I should think, when he was strong enough. As it is, it's a bit early. It says here it should have been at least another 17 if not 20 years till it was ready to wake. The fall from the tree coupled with breaking out of its glass enclosure woke it early. So it's a tad bit young." Mrs. Lupin explained.

Remus walked over to his mother to peer over her shoulder to read the book she was holding. He then groaned. "It says here, rainbows woken early tend to be like little children. Rainbows don't usually wake until late adolescence often times not until full adult hood. But baby rainbows are needy and troublesome as they aren't fully developed. It compares them to toddlers of the human species. It also says no one has had to take care of a baby rainbow in centuries but there was one book written on it in 1401 'Right as rain, raising a rainbow.'" Remus read from the page. "But that has been out of print for over 500 years." he added trying to push the rainbow out from under his chin where it was still nuzzling; he was awarded another bop to the head for his troubles.

"Ow! For crying out loud!" Remus exclaimed rubbing his head as the rainbow went back to happily nuzzling under his chin.

"Remus dear," Emily said putting a hand on his shoulder "you are missing the big picture here."

"What is that besides the fact that this bloody menace won't leave me alone and the only book that could help probably doesn't exist anymore?" Remus asked with a huff.

"No dear, don't you get it. This rainbow has chosen you! You are a rainbow rider!" She told him excitement and pride in her voice. It told her, her son was well and truly a magnificent person with a solid good heart.

Remus looked wide eyed at the rainbow and then back at his mom again "I… but you said… how…" Remus shook his head.

"I said it is rare, and it is very rare, there aren't many people as good natured as would be needed to become a rainbow rider, it is even more rare that a rainbow chooses a male but it does happen. I said there haven't been any rainbow riders born since my Gran but then again, there haven't been any rainbows around England in a long time so we had no way to know." Emily explained.

"But I can't be… the wolf…" Remus started

"Has nothing to do with your good heart." John cut him off, having approached him, pulling him close by the arm and placing a hand right over Remus' heart tapping his chest gently there as he spoke.

Remus took in a deep breath and stood up a bit straighter then anyone had ever seen him stand up before, as if a piece of him that had been missing had been replaced. Self doubt being removed in one big chunk as the rainbow rapped itself around him laying its front arch on his right shoulder. If the rainbow had chosen him that meant he wasn't some kind of monster. That his heart was still good despite the wolf that lingered, that HE was still good despite the wolf. In one fell swoop the colorful little bundle of trouble, that had affixed itself to Remus, whipped away years of self doubt and hatred.

"What does this mean? Does it mean I have to raise him?" Remus asked with a new sense of self purpose.

"I do believe that's what it means Remus." His mother said beaming. She and her husband both could sense the change that had already begun to happen in their son. All at once their prayers had been answered. Their sun had been given self confidence that the wolf had robbed from him. It was a Christmas miracle and it wasn't even Christmas just yet.

"I… I don't know how." Remus said a bit of apprehension finding its way back into his being "I don't even know what they eat."

"We will figure it out together." His father assured quickly wanting to nip the self doubt in the bud right away. He liked the idea of a more self assured Remus.

"Believe it or not Remus, they feed on good emotions and rain water." His mother added in with a smile.

"And I bet we could find that book in the library at Hogwarts, they have every book ever printed, I'm sure of it." Lily offered.

"You really think I can do this?" Remus asked.

"YES!" All three of them answered at once and Remus couldn't help but smile wide, one had coming out to pet the rainbow on its… head? At least that's what Remus thought it was.

Smiling at Remus and then sighing Lily turned her attention back to Severus who had burrowed his head into her shoulder and was now hiding there. She knew she had to deal with him.

"Severus." She beckoned "Look at me please." She ordered gently.

Severus slowly and reluctantly raised his tear stained face from its hiding spot against Lily's neck. He was I so much trouble and he just knew his Lily was going to hate him now, she was going to realize he was nothing but a naughty good for nothing little boy just like his daddy… His bottom lip wriggled in fear as he tried not to burst out into tears again. He didn't want to make Lily even madder.

Seeing Severus' face Lily almost lost her nerve but taking in a deep breath she steeled herself for what she knew she had to do.

"Severus, didn't I tell you not to touch that ornament?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded, unable to form words and in light of the situation Lily let that slide.

"It was very naughty to climb up on that stool and try to take it after I told you not to touch it, Severus." She scolded lightly. Severus closed his eyes tight and coward back preparing himself for a blow and so he was very surprised at Lily's next words. "And for that you will spend 5 minutes sitting in the corner." She told him firmly. Balancing Severus on one hip and dragging the stool with her free hand she walked over to the corner. Placing the stool in the corner she then placed Severus down on top of it.

"Stay here, I will come and collect you when your time is up." She told him.

Lost and confused, Severus burst out into sobs as he stared at the juncture where wall met wall. He wasn't sure what to make of all of this. He had been naughty and Lily was mad at him, yet she didn't hit him but she had sat him all alone in this corner for an entire 5 minutes! He didn't know what to think. Did his Lily still love him? Would she get rid of him now? Would she start treating him like daddy and mummy had treated him? Severus continued to sob as all those horrid thoughts ran through his mind.

Lily sat on the couch bouncing her knee nervously as she heard the baby cry, it took all her self control as well as a steadying hand from Mrs. Lupin to keep from just going and getting him from the corner and pulling him into a tight hug.

"You are doing the right thing." Emily assured Lily, rubbing her back soothingly.

"The why does this feel so bad?" Lily asked.

"We aren't supposed to like punishing our children, it isn't easy but it is necessary, you aren't harming him, in fact you are helping him." She explained softly "He will be okay." She promised.

"Oh I hope you're right." Lily said nibbling at her nails.

"I am, you will see." Mrs. Lupin gave a soft smile and Lily sighed in relief as the small egg timer Mr. Lupin had set for her, went off signaling the end of the time out, which had been as hard on Lily as it had on Severus.

Lily ran over to the corner and quickly scooped the sobbing child up, pulling him close to her chest.

"Sev tarwie!!" Severus sobbed the moment he was pulled against Lily "Lily, no hate Sev pease." He begged.

"Oh Sev, I could never hate you, I love you so, so much and you are all forgiven." Lily assured holding him close.

"Sev bad!" Severus cried.

"Oh no honey, you are a good boy, a very good boy. You just did something naughty, all little boys are naughty some times. But you took your time out like such a brave boy and I am so proud of you." She told him rocking him.

"`T-Till luf Sev?" Severus asked hiccupping, this was all so confusing, he had been so bad but all Lily did was make him sit alone in the corner, which admittedly he hated but which was still not at all so bad.

"With all my heart Sev, with all my heart." She told him earnestly and you know what? Severus believed it.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: This is really simple. I don't own, you don't sue.

Warning for being unbetad, also I know this isn't how the event happened exactly I have taken some creative license with it as I do with all my works. I don't really do Cannon so that shouldn't be too much a surprise. I will say though that some of the action was taken right from JK's book so I take no credit for those small little bits that I have incorporated. Also the idea may have come from cannon but it is very different from what took place in cannon, I know and I did that on purpose because that is the way I wanted it. A lot of it is also taken from the first chapter of this story altered a bit to fit right. But that is already mine so :P

OoOoOo

Last Resort Chapter 12- In which we find out what brought about James' change of heart.

OoOoOo

_**James sat alone on a sunny, if rather chilly November day. He leaned against his favorite tree next to the lake reading a transfiguration book. **_

_**He shivered pulling his thread bare robes tighter around himself casting a wary eye across the lake where 4 sets of not so friendly eyes watched him. He wondered, fearfully, what they were plotting now and whether or not he could hope to defend himself against it.**_

_**Still holding his book to cover his face James snuck one hand into the sleeve of his second hand robes and fingered his wand getting ready to draw should it become necessary. He could feel his heart beat speed up as the familiar feeling of fear and dread overcame him. **_

_**He couldn't understand what he had done in his short life to deserve all the punishment that had been heaped on him. He certainly couldn't understand what he had ever done to the likes of the marauders to incur there wrath on a daily basis.**_

_**He remembered, with a painful jolt in his heart, first year, on the train on the way home for Christmas hols, when he had innocently asked them, with tears in his eyes, that very thing. What had he done to make them be so mean to him?**_

_**He had been so hurt and confused by their blind hatred towards him and he just wanted to know what he had done wrong so he could fix it. He had been so young and eager for companions, so needy of someone to just care Merlin knew his own parents didn't. He had just wanted to make friends, but had made the mistake of showing weakness, had made the mistake of showing he was human and had feelings like the rest of them... **_

_**They had laughed at him and told him 'because you exist', which, he was sure would have been his father's answer if asked about his own abuse as well, before pushing him out of the train cart so hard that he had stumbled backwards and landed right on his ass. The tears that had been gathered in his eyes chose that moment to make a break for freedom and started to slide down his cheeks with helpless abandon.**_

_**That had been the fait full day he had been dubbed 'sniveling-snotter' which he had been called every day since. He hated how much that name still hurt him every time he heard it. What he hated even more was that, still, even after all they had done to him all he wanted was for them to accept him. If one day, by miracle, they extended their hands in truce and offered him a spot in their little band, he would jump at it, forgetting all the mean hatful things they had done to him. And for that he hated himself. Hated himself far more then they could ever hope to hate him. He was pathetic! **_

_**He sank back against the tree as if trying to melt into it when he saw his 4 predators stalking over to him.**_

_**His grip on his wand tightened though he didn't dare bring it out just yet. He wasn't interested in courting danger and pulling his wand first was the best way to ensure a painful, humiliating afternoon. The marauders would not pass up what they perceived to be a challenge. Instead he settled for trying to become one with the tree, which, for obvious reasons, wasn't working. **_

_**James jumped to his feet quickly as he could with one hand still in his robes holding his wand, when he saw that the 4 other boys were getting closer and closer to him. He stared them down projecting mock courage. He turned his nose up at them and squared his shoulders.**_

_**He sneered at them all in turn. Black the evil sadistic bastard who thrived on picking on those he felt below him not realizing that his bullying ways made him the lowest. Snape, who thought himself better than everyone else, thought he was so charming and good looking and like Black used it to get himself out of trouble. Pettigrews who was slimy at best, a cowardly little blob who puffed himself up only acting when his body guards Black and Potter were around to save him from any reproductions he was a pathetic little boy hiding in his mothers apron strings. And worst of all, Lupin who James had seen yank on the back of Black's robes initiated a short heated conversation before the group started walking to him again Remus lagging behind the others dragging his feet with his shoulders hunched in a defeated way and James could see that he really didn't want to do whatever it was that his friends were planning on doing to him now. That made him worst of all because he knew they were doing wrong and yet put up no real fight to stop it. He gave in and allowed it to happen. That made him an even bigger coward then Pettigrew! James' glare lingered on him the longest before stopping back on Snape, the leader of the crew who was holding his wand half way up. **_

_**As they got closer James, initial plans aside, just reacted whipping his wand out and pointing it at Snape who was leading the group closer and closer to him.**_

"_**Expelliarmus!" Snape shouted before James got the chance to completely raise his own wand in his direction. James' wand immediately flew out of his hand and quite a few feet away.**_

_**James dove after it desperately but just as his feet left the ground at the beginning of his dive Snape shouted "Impedimenta!" and James found his body moving it quite a different direction then he had aimed which ended with him hanging upside down by a spell of his own creation. **_

"_**Now that wasn't very nice Sniveling-Snotter, not very bright either." Snape taunted.**_

_**James felt his face go red with anger and humiliation as he thrashed in mid air trying to get his balance against the spell. He did the only thing that came to mind and that was to start using every foul word he knew against Snape.**_

"_**Tsk, tsk, such language, wash your mouth out. Scourgify!" Snape incanted and James could see the pure glee in the boy's dark eyes as he gagged miserably on the soap that filled his mouth.**_

_**By this point most of their year had gathered around and was watching with bated breath for what kind of torment would be inflicted on James next not a single one of them stepping up to rescue him. His heart felt broken, he was completely and totally alone.**_

_**"Who wants to see me take Snotter's pants off?" He heard Snape say and he had to bite his own tongue to keep a sob that so desperately wanted to make its way out at bay.**_

_**"NO!" He screamed from behind the thin layer of fabric that, despite his best effort, covered his face.**_

_**"Beg nicely Snotter and I'll consider letting you down with a thread of your dignity intact." Was the caustic reply.**_

_**James would have loved to have been able to force the words he knew Snape wanted to hear out of his mouth anything to make the abuse stop. But the remnants of his pride, of which he cleaved so tightly, to would not make it possible and he could feel the tug of magic against the waist band of his pants. **_

_**"Don't!! Bloody hell Snape let me down!!" he demanded. He was trying so hard not to beg, begging would be the end of him**_

_**"Oh surely Snotter, that is not how you beg." It was Black this time, but the taunting tone was no less audible.**_

_**James struggled against the magic holding him in place. He wondered, not for the first time what he had done in his short life to deserve the abuse that was always so generously heaped on him.**_

_**It was almost as if he could see his life flash before his eyes because he was certain if Snape did what it felt like he was about to do he would die.**_

_**The movie of his life glossed over the years of beatings by his father as if in fast forward before slowing for his first day at Hogwarts. Heck, they weren't even at Hogwarts yet when he was approached by Snape and Black, who violently tossed him out of the cart he was in. He had only been reading a book. The boys had decided they wanted to be in the cart with Lily and he was simply in their way. He had tried to put up a fight but he was small and outnumbered. His fight only seemed to make the boys hate him.**_

_**He had arrived at Hogwarts with a broken nose and cracked ribs compliments of Snape's fist to his face and Blacks foot to his body. Lily had tried to protect him but she was not any bigger then he though she was lucky; the jerks seemed to be gentlemanly enough not to hit a girl.**_

_**Madame Pomfrey had healed him right after the feast and the headmaster had been alerted as to what had happened.**_

_**The fact that the headmaster had done nothing about it had hurt the small boy on a completely different level. The Headmaster had made it very clear where James stood at this school and really it shouldn't have mattered, he should have been used to it but it still hurt just the same and he hated that it hurt!**_

_**Dumbledore had claimed that it was simply a small spat and since school had not begun yet when it had occurred there was little he could do.**_

_**That same excuse could not be used when Sirius had cornered him in the hallway and hexed him with boils a few weeks later.**_

_**He in turn had hit Sirius with a jelly leg jinx causing him to hit his head on the wall behind him, quite accidentally though.**_

_**They had both ended up in the hospital wing, only he had wound up with a week's detention while Sirius had gotten off scot free by making up a lie that James had thrown the first spell. Which, of course, Snape had backed up. It wasn't the first time that he had been lied on and he knew it would be far from the last. At such a young age a very deep sense of helplessness had washed over him at that never quite faded away**_

_**Dumbledore would not listen to the medi witch who had told the headmaster that it was not possible that James had started it as Sirius would not have been able to get a hex off AFTER being hit with the jelly jinx. Hitting his head had caused him to black out for a few moments, during which casting any spells would be quite impossible. So therefore the logical conclusion had to be that Sirius had started the hexing as James had proclaimed.**_

_**Many, many similar events had occurred over the following years, of course interrupted by time spent at home, where he would be beaten and belittled by his father for a change of pace.**_

_**Each time it was the marauders that had started it and each time James had been the one to get in trouble with the Marauders getting off with little or no punishment at all. It all fed his sense of worthlessness and many mornings it was all he could do just to get out of bed and face another day.**_

_**James was pulled back into the moment when he could feel the cool air wash over his bare arse and privates. He could hear the laughter of his classmates ring in his ears and he knew Snape had just divested him of his briefs as well as the last of his dignity and self worth.**_

_**"Let him down!!" Lily… it was Lily, she was standing up for him, oh Merlin a girl, Lily was fighting his battles and oh she was seeing him mostly naked, his Lily… his best and only friend… He could feel something in him snap, snap so hard and painfully he didn't feel it when he was dropped, colliding hard with the ground.**_

_**He fixed his cloths quickly not that he had any dignity left and glared at everyone letting anger take over simply so that he would not start sobbing right then and there.**_

_**"I didn't need your help, Mudblood!" The words were out before he had even processed them in his head and he wished immediately that he could grab them back.**_

_**Lily's eyes flashed with hurt and anger before she reared back and slapped Severus across the face. And at that moment the very last of James' will to live abandoned him…**_

_James woke panting tears streaming down his cheeks. The dream had felt so real, he could feel every last emotion, remember every last memory as if it all had really happened to him, as if it had really been him and he felt as if his heart had been crushed. A heavy weight on his chest, he couldn't breath…_

OoOoOo

"Was so real dad…" James finished off, hot tears of shame and misery coursed down his cheeks and he ached desperately for his dad to just hold him but still the man had made no move from the spot he was standing in towering over James intimidating. He looked up for a moment begging with his eyes but was met with the steely gaze of his father and he immediately diverted his eyes back down unable to suppress another agenized sob. James could sense his father didn't want to hug him, didn't even want to touch him and it made him ache to be held even more which in turn made his heart hurt again.

Harold felt like a right bastard but he held his ground, James would have to swallow his pride on this one. The boy's pride could use a bit of a beating as well as his over grown ego.

"It was real." Harold told him "Everything you saw, everything you felt, it was all real. Just what Severus Snape had felt and thought that day."

James' head popped up and he looked at his father with wide eyes "Oh God!" he sobbed in complete anguish at this news. His face turned green and he doubled over sicking up all over his own feet.

Harold was at his side in seconds. He was all for being tough and unyielding to get his point across but he had not expected his son to react in such a way. He had only hoped the spell he had used, compliments of the therapist, would bring his son around, he had never hoped for such a profound reaction. And though, deep down Harold was pleased that it had affected his boy so deeply, proving he did indeed have a heart under all the bullying, he couldn't bear to see his son this way. He put a hand on James' back as the boy continued to heave the contents of his stomach all over the floor and himself.

When the child had well and truly finished emptying out his stomach, Harold acciod his wand form his bedroom and quickly cleaned him up.

James turned and launched himself at his father clinging to his chest as the man stood there rather shocked, his arms at his side.

"Please," James rasped out "please just one hug, I know I don't deserve it but please." He begged, he couldn't bear this along one more moment he needed to be held even if only briefly.

The words broke Harold's heart and he quickly wrapped his arms around his son's shaking shoulders on hand going to rub his back as he leaned down to kiss his son on the head.

"This was all I wanted James. For you to show an ounce of empathy, a speck of remorse, to prove to me that deep down, you aren't the bully you have been acting. You really scared me for a while. I didn't know what to think of the fact that you didn't seem to think you had done anything wrong, that you didn't seem to care what you had done to that other boy and that you seemed to think that you were so much better than him. Son, you are no better than anyone else because you have money or you are a Gryffendor. You are no better than anyone else because you are handsome or charming. The things that make you a better person are the actions you take and the people you help. Being a bully does not make you a better person. Being a bully makes you less of one. Enjoying others suffering and going out of your way to provide it…" Harold trailed off shaking his head unable to finish his thought no matter how much he felt his son needed to hear it. Besides, he got the feeling James understood.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry I just…" He too trailed off knowing that there was no excuse for the way he had behaved and trying to voice one now would only make it seem as if he did not take responsibility for his actions. "I get it." He finished off instead his face hidden in his father's chest. He felt physically ill from the flood of guilt that swallowed him after the damn had been broken by that dream. Being forcefully ripped out of his denial had hurt and he felt like he was drowning in the guilt of all that he had done. How had he been so… so… evil… evil, there was simply no other word to describe what he had done and he felt even worse about the entire thing because of how he had acted when he had been called out. He was actually very embarrassed by his behavior since being home, his inability to take responsibility for his actions. He had humiliated himself with such disgraceful behavior.

A vial was pressed to his lips and he drank without protest the, by the taste of it, dreamless sleep though he had no idea when he father had summoned the stuff, or maybe he had been carrying it around, though James, for the life of him couldn't piece together, at the moment, why he would be carrying such a thing around in his pajama pockets.

Seeing the look on his son's face Harold gave an exasperated smile.

"Stop thinking." He admonished lightly kissing the top of James' head before tucking him back into his bed.

"Sleep now, son. We will call your therapist in the morning and we can all sit down and talk ok?" He asked watching as his son willfully fought against the potion, looking up at him with anxious eyes.

Harold sighed and sat back down on the bed beside James and started to rub his back.

"Here, I'll stay till you fall asleep. Now close your eyes." he ordered softly and watched as James couldn't help but to allow his lashes to flutter shut.

Harold was sure James was asleep but could not bring himself to leave just yet as he sat and stared at his sleeping boy. He smiled at his only child's slumbering form… He could finally feel pride in him again.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry it has been so long, I can't believe how the time has flown, but my life took a couple of bad turns and made it really hard for me to write. I also lost my coauthor to this fic and am looking for another, I simply cannot write this on my own right now and I would really love to get it finished. PM me if you think you could help :) Thank you.

Nothing special happens in this chapter, mostly because I am out of ideas. Help!

OoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 13

OoOoOoOoOo

Remus sat curled up on the couch reading a book, well trying to read a book anyway…

"Cut that out," He scolded the little rainbow as it nudged him under the chin again.

"Stop that, Remus. He just wants your attention." His mother scolded as she entered the room.

"I'm trying to read," Remus complained, "He hasn't left me alone for 5 minutes, I just played with him."

"He's just a baby. That is to be expected, besides he was getting into trouble just as soon as you took your eyes off of him, he made a mess in the kitchen, you need to keep an eye on him." Mrs. Lupin told her son.

"Sorry mum, raising a rainbow is a lot of work, there has got to be something I can do to keep him busy while I do something other than watch him 24/7." Remus said almost pleadingly, looking to his mother to fix this for him. Having a rainbow was a novel idea in theory, a very hard one in practice. He had not had a moment's peace since that ornament had broken and his new little friend had come flying out. He hadn't even thought of a name for him yet.

"You're lucky this came from Hogwarts today," Mr. Lupin held out a book she had been holding.

"Raising rainbows… but how?" Remus reached out to take the book.

"I owled the headmaster about the book, apparently Hogwarts did have it. He sent it right over for you to read." His mother explained handing it over.

Remus looked at the book in his hand and frowned, "It's not very thick, I sure hope there's enough information in here."

"There isn't a whole lot known Remus, but what is known is in that book. It should help you a lot." His mother assured.

"Thanks mum, uh… can you watch him while I try and read?" He asked. He really needed a beak too, he hadn't gotten a moments peace aside from when the rainbow was asleep and he was going a tad bit mad.

"I can, you read, oh and you need to come up with a name for him, he can't go around just being known as 'that rainbow over there'" She told her son.

"Thanks mom, I will." Remus assured as he lay down on his stomach to read the book as his mother got the rainbows attention with one of Severus' brightly colored baby toys. The rainbow happily went over and started batting the toy about. Remus kicked himself mentally for not thinking of doing that, hours ago. The Rainbow was attracted to bright colors it was one of the only ways to get his attention otherwise he was like a three year old with ADHD after eating their weight in sugary sweets.

OoOoOoOo

Severus was sitting on the floor in the living room rolling a colorful ball back and forth with the rainbow as Lily sat with Remus going over some things from the book.

"I was thinking of naming him Pluvius," Remus told Lily

"Rain, I like it," Lily approved, smiling at the two little ones playing. They were keeping each other busy, giving both teens a much needed break.

Remus relaxed back into the couch and called out, "Pluvius," wondering if the rainbow was smart enough to know they had been talking about it.

The rainbow-Pluvius arched up on its back arch and stood for a moment before making his way over to Remus and nuzzling under his chin.

"I think he likes it," Lily laughed.

"Me too," Remus smiled and patted what he assumed was Pluvius' head., before sending him back to play, "Go on, Severus is waiting for you." He had learned that if he just talked to Pluvius he would usually listen even if he still was a bit over excitable.

"I learned a lot from the book, there wasn't a huge amount of information, but I still think there was plenty. The first chapter says that if you put the baby rainbow in a small space like a small box, they will settle down and normally nap. They like small spaces, it calms them. It says that is because when they are hibernating before waking as adult, rainbows sleep in small tight places. Since Pluvius woke up early he still craves that safety." Remus explained what he had read in the book.

"Well that's really good to know, at least now you know how to calm him down now." Lily nudged the ball that had rolled over to her, back to the children with her foot.

"I also learned that he should be talking soon, very young rainbows, woken early take a bit of time to pick up on speech and be able to us it, they also communicate through a psychic link, they don't actually speak." Remus told her.

"Seems the book was really helpful, I don't think you'll have any real trouble raising Pluvius." Lily assured her friend.

"I'm feeling better about it," Remus agreed, "I just need to find something small for him to rest in, If I had my wand I'd transfigure something, but my parents are really strict about that."

"They are only looking out for you. It is the law after all." Lily reasoned. "Maybe your dad will transfigure something for you." She suggested. Remus' father was rather good at transfigurations.

"Transfigure what for him?" Mr. Lupin asked as he walked into the room.

"Dad I need a small box or something for Pluvius." Remus told him.

"Pluvius?" Mr. Lupin asked before following his son's gaze, "Oh, you finally named him, that's great."

"Yeah, dad and I read that young rainbows like small spaces, it calms them and often puts them to sleep so I was looking for something to use." Remus explained.

"Well I can help you there," His father assured and momentarily left the room only to come back with a small wooden box carved with an elegant design of waves and swirls and stained a deep dark brown, "I don't need to transfigure anything, you can use this." He handed the box over to his son who took it thankfully.

"Thanks dad, this is perfect!" Remus said looking at the box. It was small enough to fit in his robe pocket yet large enough that the rainbow could curl up into it.

"You're very welcome." Mr. Lupin said reaching over and ruffling Remus' hair.

Remus crinkled his nose, but laughed despite himself.

Lily smiled at him, Remus seemed happier than she had seen him in a long time and it made her feel good to see him this way.

When she looked back over at the kids her heart nearly stopped, there was Severus climbing the tree once more trying to reach one of the shiny glass ornaments. She froze for a moment not sure what to do, calling out to him might scare him and she didn't want him to fall. Instead she carefully got up from the couch and quietly yet quickly made her way over to the baby, plucking him from the tree.

Remus held his breath as he watched Lily stalk over and safely get Severus down off the tree, relieved when he was finally in the witches arms.

"No Severus you know better" She scolded. He had been testing her ever since she had given him corner time. He'd been disobeying, throwing food at lunch and generally misbehaving to see what she would do. She had been trying to reason with the boy, scolding him a few times, but thus far had handled things without further punishment. A repeat offence she couldn't overlook, however.

Severus whimpered and looked at her with wide eyes, he just knew it, he was in deep trouble now!

Carrying him over to the corner she put him down facing it, "five minutes little boy, you know better than to climb on the tree or try and touch the ornaments." She left him there going to the kitchen for the egg timer which she set for the five minutes before sitting back down next to Remus who put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Mr. Lupin watched on approvingly, he was very impressed with how the young witch handled the baby. So young to take care of a child, but a child herself, yet she had taken to it so well.

Severus started whimpering and sniffling, but not full out crying. It still pulled at Lily's heart and she wondered if this ever got any easier. She knew he deserved to be in the corner, but she can't help but feel guilty for putting him there, especially when it upsets him so much.

Severus stood there in the corner rubbing at his wet eyes with tiny balled up fists. He knew what he had done was naughty, he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing the things he was doing, but still a part of him couldn't help but do them. Part of him really just had to know that Lily really wouldn't ever hurt him even when he was really naughty. He knew deep down she was good, she had always been so nice to him, but part of him had been conditioned to expect nothing but pain from the adults in his life and he really, really had to make sure that was over. So far some corner time was the worst of what Lily did to him. He didn't like it at all, but it wasn't scary. He was starting to really believe that things were finally looking up for him and that he was actually safe. It was a little scary for him to accept that as truth because that meant letting his guard down and that meant he could be hurt even worse, but Severus trusted Lily, more than he had trusted anyone in his entire short life and that counted for something.

Severus peered back over his shoulder at Lily.

"Uh uh Severus, turn back around you still have two more minutes." Lily scolded him.

Severus gave her a pouty look, but turned back around to face the stupid boring corner. It was stupid and boring, but it was safe.

The egg timer rang and Lily breathed a sigh of relief, "Come here Sev," She called and he went running to her not needing to be told twice. She scooped him up and sat him in her lap, "Why did you have to stand in the corner?" She asked the little boy.

"Sev climb twee," He admitted shame faced.

"That's right, and we don't climb the tree, do we?" Lily asked.

"No, no mowe climb," Severus told her an answer and a promise all in one.

"Very good," Lily kissed his head, "do you want to go back and play now?"

Severus nodded and Lily placed him down on the floor where he went running back to the rainbow and ball and once more started rolling it back and forth.

Lily watched on a smile playing on her face and she wondered, was this what it felt like to be a parent?


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This chapter was hard to write, I am well and truly out of ideas. If anyone has any or has anything they want to see, please let me know in a review.

OoOoOoOo

Last resort chapter fourteen

OoOoOoOo

James knelt on hands and knees scrub brush in hand scrubbing at the kitchen floor. He sniffled every now and then, still very shaken up by his nightmare the night before the feelings he had felt during it where still vivid in his mind and he could still feel them not to mention how the entire revelation he had, had made him feel about himself.

He didn't know how his parents didn't hate him. He hated himself. He finally got what his father had been telling him and he didn't like it. He didn't know what he had been thinking, bullying Snape. Even if the headmaster had done nothing to stop them he still had known deep down that what he was doing was wrong, that his parents wouldn't approve. His parents had taught him better!

He sniffled again and rubbed a hand over his face to wipe away the unshed tears. He was feeling pretty low and very ashamed of himself, more so because he had fought his parents so hard, claiming it all to be unfair as if he was the victim here not Snape. He was sick over his behavior. He didn't know how to make it better and he so desperately wanted to. There had to be something he could do, but the more he thought about what that something could be the more he realized nothing he could do would ever be enough to fix what he had already done.

It made him feel so hopeless, what if he could never make up for what he had done? What if he was always seen as a bully? What if he could never make his parents proud of him again? What had he become and was it too late to un become it?

The questions haunted him.

A tear slid down his face and splashed on to the floor, his vision became blurry, he couldn't even see the spot he had been scrubbing off the floor. He gave up, to overwhelmed to continue on, he dropped the scrub brush and sat down on his bottom. He leaned back against the cabinets, drew his knees up to his chest and cried into them.

That was how his father found him ten minutes later when he came to check on him.

"James?" Mr Potter called gently.

James jumped and looking up wide eyed, quickly he grabbed the brush back up and started scrubbing again, "Sorry dad, I'm sorry!" He said panicked, if his father thought he was shirking his chores he might never forgive him and he wanted his dad to forgive him so badly.

Mr. Potter walked over to his son and gently lifted him from the floor before prying the scrub brush from the tightly gripping hand, "Calm down James it's alright." He soothed pulling the upset boy to his chest.

James leaned into the offered comfort and cried into his father's chest, "I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry!" He had apologized to his father the night before when he had come in to sooth him from his nightmare and he had apologized again to him and his mom that morning at breakfast, but somehow it just didn't seem like enough. It didn't seem to express how truly sorry he was for his actions. It was funny what walking a mile in Snape's shoes had done for him and he couldn't believe he had never seen it before, or more he had chosen to ignore it before.

Harold rubbed his back, "I know son, and we will work on making this better" He promised. He thought he may have underestimated just how much the dream spell had gotten to his son and he had thought it had gotten to him pretty bad given his reaction the night before, so that was saying a lot. He didn't regret doing it, it needed to be done, but he did regret just how upset his son had become over it, even if he knew deep down that James should be upset over his behavior he still hated to see his boy hurting.

"I don't know how to make this better, dad, I can't see how!" James was getting more distraught, his chest heaving as he poured out his feelings to his father.

"That's ok, we will figure it out together." Mr. Potter assured, "Now deep breaths, I don't want you hyperventilating." He wound fingers gently through his son's hair in an attempt to calm him down, but it seemed to have little effect as James continued to breathe erratically as he sobbed. He was grieving… grieving over the loss of himself. He had become a bully and it had all seemed so ok at the time.

"Ok, I'm calling healer Osgatharp," Herald said when his boy could not manage to calm down. He should have called that morning after the night before, should have realized after that dream that James would need a session, "come on we are going to my office." Still holding James close, Harold made his way to his office where he could fire call the healer.

Once they got into his office, Harold settled James in a chair, reaching out a hand and brushing it across his cheek affectionately, wiping some of the tears away, "You're okay, just sit here while I make the call." He said before stepping reluctantly away and over to the fire place.

Harold made the call quickly making sure the other man knew just how badly off James was. He was happy when the healer said he could fit them in right away, the doctor had, had a feeling that James would need him after that dream spell and he had cleared his morning just in case.

It wasn't two seconds after Mr. Potter pulled his head out of the fire that Fitzwillam Osgatharp stepped through, "Hello," He greeted both James and his father. Spotting the still sobbing boy he offered a gentle smile, "We will get you sorted," He promised James before turning to Mr. Potter, "Can we use your office?" he asked, not wanting to move James at the moment.

"Sure, I'll leave you both too it, I'll be in the library if I am needed." He shot a last worried look at his boy before leaving him in the capable hands of the doctor.

Dr. Osgatharp pulled up a chair right in front of James and sat down, "Want to tell me what the tears are all about?" He asked, not unkindly.

James hiccupped and rubbed his wet eyes with balled up fists, "I'm a-an awf-ful person."

"You have done some awful things, James, but I can see from this you are willing to and want to change, that does not make you an awful person." The healer corrected without sugar coating it.

"I-I don't kn-now how to fix it." James hiccupped.

"You might have to accept that there is no way to fix what has already been done and that instead a better use of your energy is how to change to make sure you don't make the same mistakes again." The healer told him.

"But-but I want t-to make it better." James said almost helplessly, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"That is admirable James, but you cannot change the past, you can only be better in the future, that is what you can do to start to make things better, show a change." Osgatharp said.

James seemed to sob harder at that, unable to deal with the fact that he may not be able to make what he had done better.

Dr. Osgatharp sighed, realizing he was not going to get through to his charge when he was like this, reached into one of his robe pockets and pulled out the vial of calming drought he had brought with him just in case.

"Drink this," He gently ordered as he handed it over to James.

James took it looking at it and then at the doctor.

"It's only a calming drought, you need to calm down so we can get through this." He explained to the boy who then eagerly drank it. He wanted to calm down too, it was just that he couldn't on his own.

It tasted gross and James made a face at the bitterness of the medicine, but it didn't take long for his tears to slow and then dry up and his breathing to slow down and even out. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands and then looked at his doctor sheepishly, "Sorry," he apologized.

"It's quite alright James," Osgatharp assured, he was actually relived at the out pour of emotions, it was far more than he had gotten from the boy in any of their other sessions, "Now I want you to tell me, how did your dream make you feel." It was obvious the dream spell had worked as intended but the healer wanted to be able to examine the feelings James had gone through, with him.

"Awful," James said and he would have started crying again if it weren't for the calming drought coursing through his veins, "I could feel everything so vividly, it was so real… I could feel… I wanted to die." He admitted.

"How do you feel about the fact that you made another boy feel that way?" Osgatharp probed.

James hung his head, unable to make eye contact anymore, "Rotten" he said in a small ashamed voice, "I hate myself, Sir. I feel ashamed, even more so because I didn't own up to what I did before and I don't think there is any way I can ever make this better, no way I can ever make my parents proud of me again."

"Sounds like you are feeling kind of hopeless, James" The healer pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm feeling, it feels really bad," James told him, "I don't know how to make any of it stop, I just want it to stop." He was nearly pleading.

"That will come in time, James. This is all going to take time. Your parents will forgive you and you will forgive yourself, especially once you prove yourself to be the young man we all know you can be, but you are going to have to have patience." Osgatharp told him.

"Yes Sir," James said with a sigh, he didn't like that answer, but he understood it.

They talked a bit more, but James was exhausted and eventually the doctor sent him to his room to take a nap while he headed to the library to talk to the boy's father.

"Doctor," Harold greeted, "where is James?" He asked.

"I sent him for a nap," the healer answered.

"Is he ok?" Harold wanted to know.

"He is shaken, the guilt has all come out and he isn't very fond of himself at the moment, but I believe with some work he will be ok and a better person for it." Osgatharp told him.

"What should we do?" Mr. Potter asked.

"Just show him love, he is scared you can't forgive him and he is having trouble forgiving himself. He needs you now more than ever." The doctor informed.

Harold nodded and saw the man to the fire place "I think we can handle that, we do love him no matter what he has done."

"Let him know that," Osgatharp said as he tossed floo powder into the fire and floo'd back to his office leaving Mr. Potter alone with his thoughts.

OoOoOoOo

Please review it means so much to me and it really does help me get into the writing.


	15. Chapter 15

OoOoOoOo

Chapter fifteen

OoOoOoOo

Severus slept soundly, gently sucking on his pacifier. It was 9 am Christmas morning and most children Severus' age would have been up, out of their cribs and running down to the tree, Sev though slept on as if it was just any other day and to him, in his mind, it was.

Christmas had never been anything special for the little boy, it was just another reason for his father to get drunk and yell at him, he didn't know from presents and celebrations. He had seen the brightly wrapped packages under the tree, the amount which had grown as the days passed, but he didn't think anything of them. None of them would be for him, he knew that already.

Lily peered into the room and saw the little boy sprawled out on the bed one little foot sticking out from under the blanket and hanging off the bed. She smiled at him fondly and a little sadly, well aware that he wasn't acting like a normal child would on Christmas morning and she knew exactly why.

She stepped in and over to the bed, sitting on the edge she slowly rubbed the little back, "Sev," She said softly, "wake up sweety, it's Christmas morning."

Severus cracked one eye open and peered up at Lily, then, snapped it shut again. There was no reason for him to wake up just because it was Christmas, and he was tired, he wanted to sleep.

Lily shook her head and continued to rub his back, "Don't you want to see your presents?" She tried, hoping to entice the child's curiosity.

This time both eyes opened, "pwesents?" he asked around his paci.

"Yes presents, it's Christmas, you saw all the presents under the tree." Lily affirmed.

"Pwesents for Sev?" The little boy sought clarification, pushing his pacifier back into his mouth as it had fallen out and onto the pillow next to him while he was talking.

"Of course presents for Sev." Lily promised.

Severus looks at her skeptically but sat up, his dark hair sticking up at all angles, Lily couldn't help reaching out to smooth it down as best she could.

"Ready to go see what Santa brought you?" She asked him as she stroked his hair.

Severus nodded and held his arms out to Lily to be lifted up. Lily obliged picking him up as she stood and walking out of the room and down the stairs to the others.

Severus lay his head on her shoulder and peered around taking in the tree and Remus and his parents who all sat on the couch chatting merrily as they waited for Severus and Lily.

"Well look who's up, good morning sweety," Mrs. Lupin greeted Sev, walking over she placed a gentle hand on his cheek and smiled fondly at the baby, "Ready to open presents?" She asked.

Severus nodded taking his paci out he spoke to Remus' mother, "Lily say pwesents fow Sev"

"Yes indeed, there are presents for you dear," Mrs. Lupin assured, "Come on sweet boy," she continued, "let's go see what Santa brought" she smiled at the tired toddler and lead them over to the rest of the family.

Lily took a seat in the arm chair setting Severus in her lap and Mrs. Lupin sat back down next to Remus on the couch while Mr. Lupin got up and went over to the presents.

Severus still didn't seem the least bit excited. He held out little hope that this Santa guy would remember him this year when he never had before.

John picked a gift for Severus first. A brightly wrapped package, Severus blinked at the man as he walked over to him with the parcel.

"I believe this is for you Sev," Mr. Lupin told the little boy "can you tell me who's name this is?" He asked pointing to the gift tag on the gift.

Now sev couldn't read just yet but he did know his own name. Something lily had worked on with him. He could even almost write it in large shakey letters. Sev looked at the label. His eyes went wide.

"Me!" He exclaimed "me name!" He said excitedly.

"What do you know, it does say 'Severus'" Mr. Lupin said with a sized box. handing the bright package over to the little boy who took it and held it reverently in his little hands.

"Lily lookie!" He held the present up to her.

"I see Sev, looks like Santa came and thought you were a very good boy," she told him "now why don't you open it up and see what was brought for you?" She encouraged when it seemed like the little boy would be content to just hold the gift.

Severus looked at her blankly as if he had no idea what it was she wanted him to do. She noticed the confusion and smiled at the little one reaching she ripped a bit of the paper off the package, showing him what to do.

Severus caught on fast and carefully ripped the rest of the paper off the gift the smile on his face widening as he revealed a set of duplo blocks, brightly colored large legos made for little hands. He knew just what it was just by looking at the photo of the little boy building on the box. It was perfect, Severus loved building with his regular blocks, he was very excited about these. He waved the box around so everyone could see.

"Those are very cool Severus," Remus spoke up, "I had some of those when I was little too." He told him. It was a muggle toy, but was one of the few muggle toys that had caught on in the wizarding world.

Severus grinned widely "Wemus pay blocks wif Sev?" He asked.

"I sure will, just as soon as we finish opening presents." Remus promised the boy. It felt good to be asked to play, a few weeks ago the child had been frightened of him and now he wanted him to share his new toy, it made Remus' heart swell happily.

Severus shook the box again, all excited that Remus was going to play with him, the blocks inside rattling happily.

For the next half hour presents were opened, Severus amassing quite a pile of toys and clothes both from 'Santa' and from family. Dumbledore had sent over a few things along with the other professors and the medi witch. Then there were gifts from Lily, Remus and the Lupins. Severus had never seen such things in his life, save for his trip with the Headmaster and Lily, he had never gotten so many nice things in his life.

While Mr and Mrs. Lupin cleaned up the mess of wrapping paper and Lily prepared breakfast, Remus sat on the floor with Severus and built with him, much to the little boy's delight. Remus pretended not to understand how the blocks worked and Severus proudly taught him what to do to make the plastic pieces interlock.

Lily whipped up a breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly squeezed orange juice and when it was ready they all sat down to eat together.

Lily smiled at the little boy in the high chair as he got ketchup all over his face, she was pleased at how Severus had out grown his eating issues and now eagerly tucked into the meals set before him even asking for more if he was still hungry.

It was astonishing what a little time and a lot of love could do.


End file.
